Back in Stock
Title: Back in Stock
Rating: PG
Pairing: Homin
Genre: AU
Summary: There's a guy in the cosmetics aisle, and Yunho kind of wants to lick his jeans.
Yunho is going to die.
He’s sure of it, and he whispers as much to Leeteuk- over and over again, until Boa walks by and shoots him with the price gun for harassing a coworker.
“I’m serious!” Yunho says, voice lowered as he peels a ‘CLEARANCE’ sticker off of his arm.
Boa eyes him, like she isn’t sure if she should shoot him again. She does, right on the forehead.
“Why are you ‘going to die’?” She asks, humoring Yunho, who couldn’t care less about his forehead at the moment.
“That!” Yunho points vaguely at the ceiling. “And keep your voice down!” Boa frowns, clearly not getting it.
Leeteuk sighs. He stands up from where he’s crouching and stocking shelves and points more specifically at the mirror lining the top of the walls all around the store.
“Cosmetics aisle, legs,” he says in a bored tone.
Boa looks at the cosmetics aisle in the mirror, two aisles down, then her eyebrows rise up as realization dawns on her.
“Oh,” she says. Then she smiles, and looks sidelong at Yunho. “Oh.”
“No, Boa, please. I...I greeted him when he came in and he’s really nice and cute and his eyes are like Bambi and pleasedon’tdoanythingweird.”
Boa looks back up at the mirror, obviously judging and Yunho allows himself one more look before he dies in a puddle of ‘he’s sooooo perfect’.
A tall young man is engrossed in comparing the labels on two bottles. He’s got dark brown hair that falls just so around his face to obscure it, must clear 6 feet tall, approximately 70% of that made up of legs wrapped in the tightest jeans Yunho’s seen in awhile, and he’s...stacked. Broad shoulders and slim hips, one of those lucky few who manage to fill their entire frame with muscle, yet still kind of resemble a gazelle. Nice bag, too. Good leather, from the looks of it.
“...well, he’s got great taste in bags,” Boa comments.
Yunho doesn’t respond, too busy gazing forlornly at the mirror.
Leeteuk clears his throat, then hits Boa’s arm and points a thumb at Yunho.
“He’s gone stupid. I’m gonna assign him to the cosmetics department.”
Yunho’s face goes pale.
“What? No!”
Leeteuk and Boa cross their arms and turn to Yunho together.
“He’s your type, right?” Boa asks.
“Not gonna stay in that aisle forever. Well...probably not. It has been like fifteen minutes,” Leeteuk says.
“He’s moving, ohmygod,” Yunho squeaks, eyes wide.
They all watch the mirror as Bambi meanders down the aisle, then looks left and right. He seems lost. He wanders a little more, and Leeteuk turns towards the shelves to look busy and hide the humongous smirk on his face as the guy walks to the endcap of the aisle they’re all in. He brightens when he sees them, and walks over quickly.
Boa wields her price gun one more time on Yunho’s cheek and runs off.
“Excuse me! Um...” Bambi looks hesitant, and his eyes travel over Yunho for a moment.
Yunho looks around the aisle, dismayed as he realizes that he’s the one being addressed.
“Uh, yes, how can I help you?” Yunho says, admirably steady for how much his hands are shaking. Leeteuk hums a little, and Yunho resists the urge to kick him.
“Did they discontinue this moisturizer? I came to get a new one, but I can’t seem to find it,” Bambi asks, holding up an empty bottle. His eyebrows draw together and suddenly his eyes are huge.
Yunho stares a little bit, distracted by whatever Bambi is doing with his face, until Leeteuk pokes him in the knee.
“Um, I, Uh...let me...see?” His voice lilts up embarrassingly at the end. Leeteuk makes a strange noise.
Bambi hands him the bottle, but instead of letting go, his hand lingers kind of oddly around it, so it’s centimeters away from wrapping around Yunho’s fingers.
Yunho’s already died, basically, so he figures he can enlist Leeteuk’s help. He has no clue about moisturizers or skincare or whatever is in the cosmetics aisle, beyond ‘it makes people pretty’. Bambi’s already pretty, he needs to leave some of this shit for the rest of them.
“Uh, Leeteuk, do you...know about this stuff?” Yunho asks, nudging Leeteuk. Leeteuk, thankfully, stands up and tightens the knot on his apron. He makes a big show of taking the bottle and examining it, before smiling apologetically up at Bambi.
“Yeah, I think we got our last shipment of this one last month. It’s all gone, pretty sure...sorry about that, Bambi.”
Bambi looks confused.
“‘Bambi’?” he says, like he’s confirming what he heard.
“CALLING LEETEUK TO THE REGISTERS,” Boa’s voice screeches over the PA system.
“Ah, that’s me. Bye, Bambi!” and Leeteuk books it to the front of the store.
Bambi still looks confused, and Yunho decides it’s up to him to save the day. He gathers his composure and smiles at the guy, turning his charm up 500%.
“I guess it is out of stock...can I help you find something similar?” bullshit “Um, what is your...skin type?” bullllshiiittt “I’m sure we can go and find a good replacement.” Jung Yunho you are a lying liar who knows nothing about skincare so just stop digging your own grave.
Bambi smiles and lowers his eyes demurely, and Yunho wants to cry because the living embodiment of his ‘type’ is standing right in front of him.
“Nah, that’s okay, I guess...” Bambi says.
Then he looks up at Yunho and tucks some hair behind his ear.
Yunho can feel his heart stutter to a stop.
“Can I leave my number with you? You know...in case you happen to get it in, you can call me?”
Yunho’s still mentally reeling and replaying ‘leave my number’ and ‘call me’ and ‘get it in’ in rapidly devolving iterations of appropriateness when Bambi shoves a scrap of paper into his hand.
“Here you are. Bye...Yunho! Oh- here, let me get those for you,” Bambi grins and tilts his head a little as he plucks the stickers off Yunho’s face. He flounces towards the registers, or maybe he wasn’t flouncing but Yunho can’t even manage to process his own name and why Bambi knew it as he looks at the little scrap of paper with a name and a number on it.
Shim Changmin.
Yunho spends the entire two days off he has texting and calling Boa and Leeteuk, or sometimes both simultaneously. He’s made them pull Taemin into calls, the lucky cashier who got to ring up Bamb- Changmin, and bullied him into recounting the encounter in excruciating detail.
“Tell me everything the tall guy said on Friday,” Yunho demands.
“Yunho’s got it bad,” Leeteuk explains.
“He knows my name! That’s weird!” Yunho says defensively.
“It’s almost like he READ YOUR NAMETAG OR SOMETHING,” Boa says.
“Who? What...’tall guy’? Friday?” Taemin sounds confused.
“The one with the expensive bag,” Boa says.
“The legs,” Leeteuk adds.
“OHHHH. Yes. That guy. With the...yes, okay! If that’s who you’re worried about, Yunho, don’t worry. He’s absolutely, 100% gay.”
“How do you know?” Yunho asks suspiciously.
“He bought a three pack of tinted lip balm.”
“That doesn’t mean he’s gay. Maybe his lips are just really chapped.” Yunho says, rolling his eyes.
“Then he grabbed a jar of vaseline and one of the shrink-wrapped magazines. The one with the naked guy holding an apple on it.”
Yunho sputters a little bit.
“That- I-”
“Well okay, tiger! Looks like you are good to go and give him a reason to ditch the magazine!”
“Shut the fuck up, Leeteuk!”
“Guys, if you’re gonna fight, I’m gonna take a leak,” Taemin says, already sounding like he’s on speakerphone.
In return, Yunho won’t shut up about his own encounter. “And then he- he just smiles at me,” he says over the phone excitedly, remembering it in his head.
“The nerve,” Boa says flatly, and Yunho can hear Leeteuk make a weird noise in the background of the call.
“Like it’s hilarious or something- hey, anyways, I have to go. Subway’s coming.”
“Where are you going?” Boa asks suspiciously.
“Uh, just to Myeongdong...” Yunho says, trailing off.
“...you’re going to Myeongdong? Alone?”
“No, no...I might meet some friends- but uh, hey, subway, here,” Yunho stammers. He sucks at lying.
“You wouldn’t happen to be meeting a certain customer, right?”
Leeteuk’s voice murmurs something inaudibly, and he and Boa both laugh.
“NO. I’m hanging up, bye!” Yunho smashes the call end button and sighs heavily. At least they don’t know what he’s actually doing, which is far less admirable than gathering his courage and calling Changmin for a meeting.
Thirty minutes later, he steps into the Myeongdong location of the store he works, and beelines for the cosmetics aisle.
He speaks to Jangmi, the cosmetics woman there, and she regretfully informs him their store is out of stock too. She gives him a good idea though, and together, they check the stock of several other store locations on the store computer. Unfortunately, it seems like the product is completely wiped from their chain.
“Why don’t you go and check the competitors?” Jangmi suggests. Yunho nods, sighing.
“I guess I’ll have to. Thanks, Jangmi!” he says, waving as he leaves, but not before taking advantage of free drinks for employees.
Once he’s outside, Yunho dials the number he’s looked at about five million times in the past two days, and tries to stay calm as he waits for someone to pick up. He absentmindedly uncaps the bottle of Vegemilk and sips it.
“Hello?” Changmin’s smooth voice finally filters through the phone.
“Hi! Changmin!” Yunho exclaims.
“Um, who... is this?” Changmin asks, sounding confused.
Yunho feels stupid.
“Oh! Sorry, uh, this is Yunho,” he laughs nervously, before explaining. “We, uh, met at the convenience store a few days ago? You were buying face stuff?”
“...AH! Yunho! The store clerk! Yes, hi, I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize your voice.” There’s a bunch of rustling noises and Changmin makes a soft little ‘ah’ sound. “Okay, sorry, I just had to put my bag down. Um, what’s up?”
Yunho momentarily forgets what he’s calling for, then sees the Vegemilk and snaps out of it.
“I just wanted to call, and say- I checked the Myeongdong location of our store and it seems like every branch is sold out of your face stuff. But I’m going to check out a few other places, so don’t worry!”
Changmin is silent for a few seconds.
“...O-okay? Thank you, Yunho, that’s, um, really nice of you?”
Changmin is so polite, Yunho wants him to feel like they’re friends.
“It’s no big deal! Call me hyung, okay?”
“...Ah...okay, hyung. Thanks.”
Yunho feels like sugar is hurtling through his veins and that hungry cougars are chasing after him. This can’t be healthy.
“Great! Hey, um, what types of hobbies do you have? Sports, or...?” he asks, trying to keep the conversation going.
“Mmm, I’m not really the sports type...I kind of like...reading, I guess? Games, playing with my friends, singing...” Changmin lists out.
“Oh? Singing? Like at a parlor?” Yunho asks. He wonders if Changmin’s singing voice is as good as he looks.
“Yeah...sort of. How about you?”
“Actually, I love to dance,” Yunho says.
“Wow, that’s so cool,” Changmin exclaims. “I’ve always been jealous of people who can dance well. I think I just look stupid when I do it.”
“I’m sure you wouldn’t look stupid,” Yunho breathes out in a laugh. “If you ever feel like dancing, I teach classes once a week at a studio!” He’s creeping himself out.
“Is that so? That’s cool...I might have to take you up on that sometime. Ah, hyung, I’m sorry but I have to go, I’m sort of almost late for a project meeting...”
“Oh! Right! Yeah, sure! Wait, are you a student?” Yunho asks, hoping Changmin isn’t like a super mature-looking college freshman or something.
“Grad student, not undergrad,” Changmin says quickly.
“...that’s awesome,” Yunho says like an idiot, before snapping back to normalcy. “Oh, right! You were going! Um, have a good day!”
After Yunho hangs up, he’s tempted to look for the nearest hard surface so he can repeatedly slam his head into it.
They have more conversations throughout the week. In the meantime, Yunho’s made some pretty impressive contacts in other chains, and is offered a job twice. He respectfully declines, and leaves with free drinks and smiles. Unfortunately, the product Changmin was looking for is absolutely gone. Each visit is followed with a phonecall (or sometimes, a text) to Changmin to report his findings.
Changmin insists he doesn’t need to worry, that he’ll find a new replacement moisturizer soon.
“It’s just how skincare products work. You spend tons of money finding the one that works for you, then they discontinue it, then you do it all over again.”
Yunho frowns.
“That sounds...pointless. I think I’ve used the same deodorant since I was like, 15,” he says. Changmin’s world of being pretty sounds...exhausting.
Changmin laughs.
“Sometimes you get a good one that has a lot of longetivity but...I think it’s kind of fun hunting for the newest stuff. Then you can complain about it later when it sucks.”
“Well, I guess it’s working for you. Changminnie has great skin!” Yunho says cheerfully.
There's another one of those weird silences.
“Thanks, hyung. Um, I have to go. And you don’t have to keep going to stores, I’ll find something soon.”
Yunho inwardly panics. Changmin sounds embarrassed.
“Changmin! Even if I don’t keep going to stores-” Annndd now this is sounding super weird. “Uh, can I still call you? You know, if I uh, find something...you should look into, you know?” Yunho winces.
“Of course. I’ll talk to you later.” Changmin hangs up.
Smooth. Like a gravel road.
That night, Yunho finds himself restless. He needs a reason to keep talking to Changmin.
It’s only been a few phonecalls since their first meeting, but if he’s honest to himself...
Changmin is funny. He’s a good listener, and even though he’s quiet, he’s not awkward. He makes the most unexpected little remarks that make Yunho laugh uncontrollably, and Yunho finds himself smiling every time they talk.
Oddly enough, his crush has taken a backseat to his desire to be Changmin’s friend. That would be good enough for him. It’s the complete reverse of how it normally is, but Changmin is not an average person, so it makes sense that their meeting wasn’t average either.
Yunho sits in his desk chair and opens his laptop.
He considers the searchbar for a moment, then begins to type.
‘Best skincare products’
For the next four hours, Yunho gets lost in pages and pages of reviews, products, tutorial videos, swatches, and comparison photos.
88girl swears that Summer Pie’s Ultra Tea Date Moisturizer made their skin fresh and dewy, but nucleartissue says it made their skin oily, and has photos from 4 hours in and 8 hours in to prove it.
Mariposuh bought Soybaby’s Fresh Ice Cream Skin Milk and was unimpressed by the high price for a small amount of product. However, Lushus says it turned their skin into molten gold and would gladly pay double for it. Vinylroomxx says the entire Soybaby line breaks them out. Wingzy cuts in and argues that honey and olive oil are way better and cheaper.
People are passionate about skincare.
Yunho is entranced by a forum discussion about the benefits of oil-based versus water-based moisturizer when he finally looks at the clock. He does a double take, and stares at it blankly.
How is it 4am?
Yunho walks over to his bed and collapses on it. He closes his eyes, sore from staring at a computer screen for who-knows-how-long, and sighs in bliss.
Suddenly he remembers something TackyFairy said on her Celebratory 800th Blog Post- 'Never sleep without washing your face and moisturizing!'
He groans and tries to ignore the words dancing in front of his eyes, but finally concedes and shuffles to the bathroom. He splashes his face with water, and looks at his dripping face in the mirror.
Is this what Changmin’s life is like everyday? Actually, he probably works much harder at it. No wonder he’s so gorgeous.
Yunho thinks he’s in love. He has an idea.
The next morning, Yunho wakes up close to noon and finds himself almost late to his shift at the store. He runs outside, dialing Changmin’s number as he runs and narrowly avoids tripping in a gutter.
On the third ring, Changmin picks up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Changmin!” Yunho says cheerfully.
“Hi, hyung. What’s up?” Changmin sounds relaxed.
“Trying not to be late for work, haha.”
“Oh...is it okay for you to be calling me?” Changmin asks.
“Absolutely! Actually, I wanted to know if you were busy today. I found some things that you might want to try- I’ll give you some free samples! It’s on me!”
Changmin laughs a little, and Yunho finds himself smiling.
“I was going to read all day, but I guess I could make some room in my busy schedule,” Changmin says, teasing.
“You don’t have to come, but people who turn down free stuff are weird.”
“When do you work until?”
“Closing, so about 9.” Yunho tries not to sound too excited.
“Okay, I’ll see what I can do. Um,” Changmin seems to hesitate. “See you soon, I guess?”
“See you, Changminnie!”
When he hangs up, Yunho runs with a little more energy, bolting down the street.
The first few hours of Yunho’s shift slide by uneventfully. Leeteuk is scheduled, but he seems to have had a rough night. He yawns every few minutes as he levels, and Yunho finally tells him to go take his break. Leeteuk mumbles his thanks and stumbles back to the break room. Yunho busies himself with re-leveling the shelves that Leeteuk messed up when someone clears their throat behind him.
Yunho whirls around, and gets an eyeful of long legs in a pair of red skinny jeans he already loves.
“Changmin!” he exclaims, jumping up and going to hug him, before stopping himself. Too soon. Changmin might not be the touchy feely type, he thinks.
Changmin just smiles and his gaze flutters down around to his shoes.
“Um, nice to see you again, Yunho hyung.” Changmin takes a deep breath and tilts his head. “So, what did you want to show me?” he asks.
A lot of things that are really inappropriate pass through Yunho’s head, and he wants to smack himself. Instead, he loops an arm around Changmin’s back and leads him to the cosmetics aisles.
Okay, Yunho, this is what you’ve been training for. Keep it straight. Uh, keep the products straight, I mean. Just remember, the difference between Sashay’s daytime moisturizer and everyday moisturizer is that the daytime one has SPF 15! I believe in you!
Yunho grabs a bottle and holds it up to Changmin.
“Have you heard of this stuff?” he asks.
“Ah, I’ve heard of the brand, but I’ve never tried it...” Changmin takes the bottle from him and studies it. “Oh, see, this is not non-comedogenic. It’s meant for drier or more mature skin. It’ll block the pores.”
Yunho nods, undeterred, and places it back on the shelf.
“How about this? A lot of people say it’s very similar to the one you liked.”
Changmin makes a really cute ‘oh?’ face, and they read the label together.
“This might be worth trying,” Changmin says after a moment.
“I can give you a sample,” Yunho says cheerfully. “But I think you should try several, so maybe we can find a few more.”
Changmin bites his lips, and Yunho thinks he’s trying to hold in a laugh. Changmin is really, really, really hitting all of Yunho’s weaknesses.
“I’ve actually been looking for something for my hands,” Changmin says. “The cold air is making them really dry...I’m afraid they’ll start cracking soon.”
Well. Yunho actually knows what he’s talking about with this one. He doesn’t miss a beat.
“Coincidentally, I’m kind of an expert on hand lotion! I was a dishwasher for half a year, so my hands got really fu- messed up, with all the hot water and soap.” Yunho heads to a section near the end of the aisle, plucking out his favorite heavy-duty hand lotion.
“This is the best lotion ever created,” he says, placing it into Changmin’s hands.
Changmin looks at the front and back, before popping the cap.
“Can I try...?” he begins, looking up at Yunho for permission.
“Ah, here! Let me!”
Yunho takes the bottle and squeezes out a dollop of lotion, then places the bottle on a shelf.
“Give me your hand,” he says, gesturing for Changmin to hold his hand out.
After a moment, Changmin places his hand palm down on Yunho’s, and Yunho decides to just go for it.
He starts rubbing the lotion into Changmin’s skin, paying attention to the knuckles, and running up to the joints. He gives each joint a little tug, and treats each finger to a tiny massage. He lightly presses his thumbs into Changmin’s palm, moving in firm circles, and finally chances a look up.
Changmin looks totally out of it. He’s just staring at Yunho with a blank look, like he’s torn between pulling his hand back or just falling over.
“Um. Application is important? Hopefully this will save your hands-” Yunho babbles like an idiot.
Changmin’s hand suddenly twines with Yunho’s.
“Listen. Hyung.”
Yunho shuts up and listens, eyes wide.
“I honestly don’t care about new moisturizer. I mean, I do, but I have like a million ones on my list that I’ll just keep buying. When I gave you my number, I was flirting with you. I tried to make it subtle in case you didn’t want to, but apparently you don’t do subtle. So. Um. Do you want to...go grab a coffee with me or something sometime? Somewhere we can talk. About anything. Skincare, dancing, whatever.”
Yunho just stands there. He’s never felt quite this brainless.
“...oh.” A smile slowly lifts at his lips. “OH. Yeah, I...do?”
Changmin smiles and laughs in relief, looking nervous as fuck.
Yunho tightens his hold on Changmin’s (now super soft) hand.
“I’d love that,” he confirms. “Maybe we can go to a singing parlor too.”
Changmin nods, and tugs his hand for Yunho to release his.
Yunho holds Changmin’s hand up.
“But you should get this stuff. ‘Cause your hand is like...super amazingly soft now.”
There’s something really amazing about Changmin’s laugh, but Yunho’s more distracted by the way his fingers slide right in between Changmin’s, and how warm it is right between their palms.
On their first date, Yunho finds out Changmin is really good at singing. He sounds especially good in a duet with Yunho, and Yunho makes sure to exploit this. Except Changmin keeps ruining every song by laughing so hard at Yunho’s ‘solo parts’, and eventually Yunho throws the mic down and tickles the shit out of Changmin for being an annoying little jerk.
On their fifth date, Yunho finally gets to see Changmin’s place, and can’t stop grinning when he sees Changmin’s vanity, covered in meticulously organized products and tools. Changmin gives him a crash course in his current favorites, and Yunho thinks he knows exactly what to get Changmin for his birthday.
On the first night Yunho sleeps over, Yunho discovers that Changmin has a couple of odd sleeping habits. He mumbles and occasionally speaks, and clings to Yunho like a koala. He also finds out some other interesting habits of Changmin’s, but decides he’ll keep those to himself for a rainy day.
On the tenth night they spend together, Yunho is introduced to Changmin’s completely bizarre ‘facial exercises’, and ends up grabbing him and smushing his cheeks together. It doesn’t help that one of the ‘exercises’ involves sucking a finger and then slowly drawing it out. Yunho calls bullshit on Changmin’s insistence that it ‘defines your lips!’, and gives him a better way to work out both their lips.
Two months after they begin dating, Yunho finally works up the courage to tell Taemin, Leeteuk, and Boa that he’s dating Changmin. They all give him a frighteningly similar flat look, and Boa just says, “duh”. Taemin tries to comfort Yunho and tells him the only reason they knew is because Changmin has been coming in the store practically everyday to buy him a snack. Yunho realizes they’ve probably known for the entire two months, along with every other employee in the store.
On their one-hundred day anniversary, Changmin gives Yunho a brand new mp3 player packed with music. Yunho plugs it into the speakers at the studio he dances at and gives Changmin a dance lesson. It basically dissolves into bumping and grinding when one of Changmin’s favorite songs comes on, but Yunho thinks that’s actually a pretty good outcome for him.
On their one-year anniversary, Changmin and Yunho accidentally give each other the same gift- a face pack set. They end up laying on the floor with a mask on each of their faces, drinking juice that’s supposed to be good for your skin, and generally being good-for-nothings. Yunho doesn’t think he has enough patience for these things, and Changmin agrees: no, you don’t. Yunho sticks out the twenty minutes, then tugs it off, leaning over to kiss Changmin. Changmin freaks out and yells something about massaging the serum in, but Yunho doesn’t care and happily messes up Changmin’s mask. It dissolves into the laziest wrestling match ever, and Changmin wins, sliding out and running to the sink.
Yunho is taking over the register one day, and he’s counting the drawer when someone places their items on the counter.
“One moment, please,” he says to them, and jams the money back into the drawer.
He looks down and sees a three-pack of lip balm and an instant coffee.
He looks up and sees a smiling Changmin, wrapped up in a scarf and oversized sweater.
“Hey, gorgeous, out of lip balm already? You know you’re supposed to wear it, not eat it, right?”
Changmin tosses his head, flicking his bangs back, and levels Yunho with a cool look.
“I don’t hear you complaining when we kiss, handsome,” he says, before catching Yunho’s wrist and pressing the coffee into his hand.
“You’re welcome.”
Yunho grabs up Changmin’s hand and squeezes it, before ringing up the items as sold.
“Thanks, Changminnie, don’t worry about this stuff. I owe you, anyways.”
“No you don’t,” Changmin says, before looking at Yunho brightly. “I’ll see you later?”
“You got it.” Yunho smiles, looking from left to right before kissing Changmin’s knuckles.
(After Changmin leaves, Yunho gets the feeling he’s being watched. He catches sight of Taemin, peeking over the candy shelf at him with the sparkliest eyes he’s ever seen. Taemin stumbles when he notices Yunho’s spotted him and disappears from sight. From the sound of it, he takes half the candy with him to the floor.)
Ughhh how do i end stories?
I'm not completely happy with this, but it's time to let it go and work on my other nanos. :>
This was inspired by that gif set where TVXQ is asked about their skincare regimens. Changmin answers with a huge list of steps, and Yunho's just like…not much??? ahahaha homin in a nutshell, everyone. I can't get over them.