Broken...
I know I'm the one that did it... but that doesn't mean that I wanted to. Sometimes you just get to the end of a rope... you know?
And I never wanted to hurt him. Even though he won't ever believe that. I still love him and wish there was another way... but I don't see anything changing, as much as I wish it would.
And every time I think about how we won't have anymore of those good times that we had, it makes me cry... but I didn't leave him because of the good times, I left him because the bad times outweighed the good, no matter how wonderful the good times were.
I'll never regret the last 8 months, even though he does. I still think he's wonderful and I wish him the best. I hope that he makes it in music. I'll cherish every wonderful moment that we had.
I know its not the best to talk to him but... I miss him so much. I've never had a break-up like this... its one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
I just wish things could be different... I know I did it, but it still feels like a part of me died...
Amendment (made 6/26/09): So I was reading back over this and want to amend... I said I'd never regret those months with him, but honestly, now that its in the past, I regret it more than I've regretted anything. He was the biggest mistake of my life. The only things I don't regret are that the relationship taught me what I really wanted and deserve, and it helped me to really appreciate how wonderful Steve is to me.
Anyway, just didn't want to leave that falsehood out there.
And I never wanted to hurt him. Even though he won't ever believe that. I still love him and wish there was another way... but I don't see anything changing, as much as I wish it would.
And every time I think about how we won't have anymore of those good times that we had, it makes me cry... but I didn't leave him because of the good times, I left him because the bad times outweighed the good, no matter how wonderful the good times were.
I'll never regret the last 8 months, even though he does. I still think he's wonderful and I wish him the best. I hope that he makes it in music. I'll cherish every wonderful moment that we had.
I know its not the best to talk to him but... I miss him so much. I've never had a break-up like this... its one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
I just wish things could be different... I know I did it, but it still feels like a part of me died...
Amendment (made 6/26/09): So I was reading back over this and want to amend... I said I'd never regret those months with him, but honestly, now that its in the past, I regret it more than I've regretted anything. He was the biggest mistake of my life. The only things I don't regret are that the relationship taught me what I really wanted and deserve, and it helped me to really appreciate how wonderful Steve is to me.
Anyway, just didn't want to leave that falsehood out there.