wonderfully reeky....
I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.
-Agent Smith :)
So... I was thinking today (whilst roller blading) that the Administration of Science and Agricultural Science of Administrative Agriculture... of Science.... building (or something of a similar.. or possibly not so similar name) inexplicably smelled like what happens when you mix blue and red Kool-Aid (if you don't know what Kool-Aid is you should just give up now you sorry excuse for a humanistic life form). Anyway, I was never a huge fan of the blue, Tropical Punch, or red, Cherry, kinds. But when mixed, which I hated when people did, it smelled quite pleasant. As if you concentrated hard enough you could Professor Xavier it back to its rightfull grape awesomeness that it oh so timidly flaunted.
*fun fact for the day.. one of the original Kool-Aid flavors was root beer! who knew!? - alas the truths are slowly revealing itself from its windy-tangled ball of... tangled-windy messiness.....
Anyway, this pleasurable smell-while-roller-blading experience prompted me to further explore the unexplored world of smell... exploration.
(okay, I'm sorry. I'm quite sleep deprived, and my internal word rambles that I find oh so hilarious in my head are popping oh so precariously outward into the sunlight of all that.. that is... blogdom.) But yeah, back to the subject at hand: Smell.. such an odd, yet useful thing. I can't imagine how much would be lacking it wasn't for those kick ass matrix coders. I mean seriously...
(and this is where I start listing my smell index of friends/family/random walgreens employees and patients....)
old cat-lady: Okay, this one is pretty simple. Its so ungodly horrific though! I mean seriously, its like she washes her laundry in twice-used kitty litter.
putrid guy: Heck, I can't quite identify his stench, but he tops my list of all time smelly. Its not straight BO.. but something... more... something.. mysterious.. like an unknown bacteria hastily growing in an infinite grandeur of crevice-reeking god-awfulness.
machine-shop-rag guy: This guy.. well.. he was so friendly. (although really friggin' weird.) But he smelled.. he smelled like the 20's. Or well.. what I imagine the 20's smelled like. He was clean and well shaven in appearance, yet he had this odor of a working man. Of a man that just spent 12 hours placing gaskets on a Model T
(ps I don't even know if a Model T had gaskets.. heck.. I'm not exactly sure what a gasket is for that matter.. but I know cars have it/them.. the 'head' one can be blown.. and people always talk about them in attempted 'car talk')
new pharmacy manager: Amazingly.. amazing. I mean, not that she looked like she smelled bad, but well, she smelled wonderful. But I'd have felt like a huge kiss ass if I said that, thus I didn't - yet enjoyed wafting.
kinda mean co-worker girl: Actually quite pleasant. Always the same and nothing truly remarkable, just kind of a perk to the monotony of stale Walgreen's air. Kind of what I imagine 40 yrs old to smell like. (granted she's 25.. or somethin') but well, she's athletic.. and doesn't smell bad; therefore, no room for greediness.
first girlfriend hair: Oh my goodness... heavinly. To think guys are just trying to be cute when they smell a girls hair is proposterous. What do you think all the neck snuggling is for? ha! Yeah.. its.... wonderful. And I said 'first' here, because well, I'm not naming names, but she deserves to be singled out.. as is the point of my smell index.
Barnes and Noble: What I imagine all smart people would smell like if they stopped showering with scented soaps.
strange girl: Excellent question. I've always wondered...
Maybe I'll never know...
I suspect bananas with a hint of infamous rodent.
turd: Well.. ironically.. she didn't smell to shabby. Granted the ratio needed to achieve the correct smellfull-bliss-ester-proportionality seemed a bit excessive... but it was like dancing in the rain... old people dancing.... :P
Step-dad: Oddly, he always smells pretty damn good. He uses A LOT of cologne.. not sure what kinds. But he smells like tamed cowboy. Its gotta be in the Stetson phylum.
Sister: Always different. I suspect she makes them in an underground lab. Although, I'm quite certain her sweat glands naturally secrete a hint ripened peach. Regardless, always wonderfully fruity with a possible blend of a flower or two.
Mother: Like.. well.... mom... sorry. For once, words can never be so vivid.
Grand-mother: Vanilla blossom. Nice, constant, what grandmas are supposed to smell like (of course when they aren't smelling like freshly made cookies, cakes, or likewise fattening and oh so tasty goodies.)
Pooch: Well.. pretty bad. After a shower... not so bad... but still something I have no yearning for.
Big Brother: Strong guy. Not exactly good, or neccessarily bad. Just well... like the clean cut boxer type. Clean.. like aftershave.. or axe soap.. but on the verge of sweating.
Half-Asian, yet not, Friend: Heh.. good question. I have no idea actually. Wow.. my next mission awaits! I suspect apple with a hint of raw fish. (and as in apple I mean computer... and yes... computers have a smell.. don't believe me?... *waits*.. right.. now you know.
Me: Well... *haughtily* what can I say... incredible? ha! Actually I have no idea... I've often wondered what I smelled like. (and as in often I mean at this very moment.. and well.. whenever a pretty girl is near.)
I should sleep.
To live without smell... a very sad thought...
To emulate smell in television... an engineer/science/geek thought...
To record a third yet very important sense... wow.. that'd be amazing (another engineer/science/geek thought.)
Goodnight all,
I hope this digression into the wonderful world of smells opens up your nostrils to the wonderfully reeky world we commonly take for granted.
-Agent Smith :)
So... I was thinking today (whilst roller blading) that the Administration of Science and Agricultural Science of Administrative Agriculture... of Science.... building (or something of a similar.. or possibly not so similar name) inexplicably smelled like what happens when you mix blue and red Kool-Aid (if you don't know what Kool-Aid is you should just give up now you sorry excuse for a humanistic life form). Anyway, I was never a huge fan of the blue, Tropical Punch, or red, Cherry, kinds. But when mixed, which I hated when people did, it smelled quite pleasant. As if you concentrated hard enough you could Professor Xavier it back to its rightfull grape awesomeness that it oh so timidly flaunted.
*fun fact for the day.. one of the original Kool-Aid flavors was root beer! who knew!? - alas the truths are slowly revealing itself from its windy-tangled ball of... tangled-windy messiness.....
Anyway, this pleasurable smell-while-roller-blading experience prompted me to further explore the unexplored world of smell... exploration.
(okay, I'm sorry. I'm quite sleep deprived, and my internal word rambles that I find oh so hilarious in my head are popping oh so precariously outward into the sunlight of all that.. that is... blogdom.) But yeah, back to the subject at hand: Smell.. such an odd, yet useful thing. I can't imagine how much would be lacking it wasn't for those kick ass matrix coders. I mean seriously...
(and this is where I start listing my smell index of friends/family/random walgreens employees and patients....)
old cat-lady: Okay, this one is pretty simple. Its so ungodly horrific though! I mean seriously, its like she washes her laundry in twice-used kitty litter.
putrid guy: Heck, I can't quite identify his stench, but he tops my list of all time smelly. Its not straight BO.. but something... more... something.. mysterious.. like an unknown bacteria hastily growing in an infinite grandeur of crevice-reeking god-awfulness.
machine-shop-rag guy: This guy.. well.. he was so friendly. (although really friggin' weird.) But he smelled.. he smelled like the 20's. Or well.. what I imagine the 20's smelled like. He was clean and well shaven in appearance, yet he had this odor of a working man. Of a man that just spent 12 hours placing gaskets on a Model T
(ps I don't even know if a Model T had gaskets.. heck.. I'm not exactly sure what a gasket is for that matter.. but I know cars have it/them.. the 'head' one can be blown.. and people always talk about them in attempted 'car talk')
new pharmacy manager: Amazingly.. amazing. I mean, not that she looked like she smelled bad, but well, she smelled wonderful. But I'd have felt like a huge kiss ass if I said that, thus I didn't - yet enjoyed wafting.
kinda mean co-worker girl: Actually quite pleasant. Always the same and nothing truly remarkable, just kind of a perk to the monotony of stale Walgreen's air. Kind of what I imagine 40 yrs old to smell like. (granted she's 25.. or somethin') but well, she's athletic.. and doesn't smell bad; therefore, no room for greediness.
first girlfriend hair: Oh my goodness... heavinly. To think guys are just trying to be cute when they smell a girls hair is proposterous. What do you think all the neck snuggling is for? ha! Yeah.. its.... wonderful. And I said 'first' here, because well, I'm not naming names, but she deserves to be singled out.. as is the point of my smell index.
Barnes and Noble: What I imagine all smart people would smell like if they stopped showering with scented soaps.
strange girl: Excellent question. I've always wondered...
Maybe I'll never know...
I suspect bananas with a hint of infamous rodent.
turd: Well.. ironically.. she didn't smell to shabby. Granted the ratio needed to achieve the correct smellfull-bliss-ester-proportionality seemed a bit excessive... but it was like dancing in the rain... old people dancing.... :P
Step-dad: Oddly, he always smells pretty damn good. He uses A LOT of cologne.. not sure what kinds. But he smells like tamed cowboy. Its gotta be in the Stetson phylum.
Sister: Always different. I suspect she makes them in an underground lab. Although, I'm quite certain her sweat glands naturally secrete a hint ripened peach. Regardless, always wonderfully fruity with a possible blend of a flower or two.
Mother: Like.. well.... mom... sorry. For once, words can never be so vivid.
Grand-mother: Vanilla blossom. Nice, constant, what grandmas are supposed to smell like (of course when they aren't smelling like freshly made cookies, cakes, or likewise fattening and oh so tasty goodies.)
Pooch: Well.. pretty bad. After a shower... not so bad... but still something I have no yearning for.
Big Brother: Strong guy. Not exactly good, or neccessarily bad. Just well... like the clean cut boxer type. Clean.. like aftershave.. or axe soap.. but on the verge of sweating.
Half-Asian, yet not, Friend: Heh.. good question. I have no idea actually. Wow.. my next mission awaits! I suspect apple with a hint of raw fish. (and as in apple I mean computer... and yes... computers have a smell.. don't believe me?... *waits*.. right.. now you know.
Me: Well... *haughtily* what can I say... incredible? ha! Actually I have no idea... I've often wondered what I smelled like. (and as in often I mean at this very moment.. and well.. whenever a pretty girl is near.)
I should sleep.
To live without smell... a very sad thought...
To emulate smell in television... an engineer/science/geek thought...
To record a third yet very important sense... wow.. that'd be amazing (another engineer/science/geek thought.)
Goodnight all,
I hope this digression into the wonderful world of smells opens up your nostrils to the wonderfully reeky world we commonly take for granted.