(no subject)
I realised something today. I'm going nowhere. My life has no meaning at the moment. My job isn't giving me any satisfaction, although it is looking up, and I feel that I am stuck in a rut that I don't know how to get out of. I need to find a direction, a drive, something to make me get up and go somewhere in my life. Maybe I'll work harder at my music, and try to get somewhere with it, or maybe I'll try and travel the world and visit people. I want to go to America, and visit Erin in Reno, and Danielle in New Jersey. I just don't have the time or the money to. I get 20 days off a year, which are really difficut to book together, and I seem to have a problem saving money, as I spend it all the time. Usually on stuff I don't need.
I haven't played my bass properly in so long. It's currently sitting on the wall, not being played. I picked it up for a while before as Erin wanted to see it, but then I just put it back again. I wish I was more like Iain, he plays his guitar almost constantly, and it shows. He is the most awesome guitarist I know, and he's great to play with. He's also funny as fuck.
I take great comfort in my friends. More often than not, I feel very lonely and unwanted, but guaranteed, my friends can make me feel better, and I love them all. Especially Erin, we have something very special between us. I can't describe it, but we just click so well, and its like we can read each other's minds. I am touched at how much trust she places in me, and I'm afraid I'm going to do something stupid to screw everything up, but she has told me so many times how much she cares for me, and it makes me feel good inside. Whole. Wanted. I will definately visit her someday, but I'm afraid that when I do, I won't want to leave.
[SA80]
This clan is fucking awesome. I joined not long ago with Iain and Rob, and they are such a complete gang of geezers, its funny. We work well together in the game we play (Rainbow 6 : Raven Shield) and they are a good group of guys. We're going to get into Airsoft, and meet up for matches and crap, so they should be good outings. I'm going to start saving to buy some gear, mainly a rifle and some combat gear. Will be expensive, though, about £400, lol. I need to get my bank account sorted first so I can get a debit card and buy stuff online.
fuck, this thing is huge!
Maybe at this point in my life, I don't need to go anywhere, and just live for the moment and have fun. Hmmm....
I haven't played my bass properly in so long. It's currently sitting on the wall, not being played. I picked it up for a while before as Erin wanted to see it, but then I just put it back again. I wish I was more like Iain, he plays his guitar almost constantly, and it shows. He is the most awesome guitarist I know, and he's great to play with. He's also funny as fuck.
I take great comfort in my friends. More often than not, I feel very lonely and unwanted, but guaranteed, my friends can make me feel better, and I love them all. Especially Erin, we have something very special between us. I can't describe it, but we just click so well, and its like we can read each other's minds. I am touched at how much trust she places in me, and I'm afraid I'm going to do something stupid to screw everything up, but she has told me so many times how much she cares for me, and it makes me feel good inside. Whole. Wanted. I will definately visit her someday, but I'm afraid that when I do, I won't want to leave.
[SA80]
This clan is fucking awesome. I joined not long ago with Iain and Rob, and they are such a complete gang of geezers, its funny. We work well together in the game we play (Rainbow 6 : Raven Shield) and they are a good group of guys. We're going to get into Airsoft, and meet up for matches and crap, so they should be good outings. I'm going to start saving to buy some gear, mainly a rifle and some combat gear. Will be expensive, though, about £400, lol. I need to get my bank account sorted first so I can get a debit card and buy stuff online.
fuck, this thing is huge!
Maybe at this point in my life, I don't need to go anywhere, and just live for the moment and have fun. Hmmm....