The Youngest Billy Goat withstands an assault upon her virtue.
So if life was like a Macy's advert and I got an annual card-coupon from the city in which I live, it would be like:
[ooc: hand-drawn and fairly ornate rectangle]
Happy New Year! Have a complimentary subway groping from an old man in a fedora, FREE OF CHARGE.
And the redeeming of it would be compulsory. So like, thanks New York. I would say something about wishing I was still in Chicago but anyone who has been to Chicago knows that is not true. You're probably just as likely to get groped there. Maybe only 80% as likely. But they card a lot more.
Whatever. I hate old people. Especially the handsy kind.
[ooc: hand-drawn and fairly ornate rectangle]
Happy New Year! Have a complimentary subway groping from an old man in a fedora, FREE OF CHARGE.
And the redeeming of it would be compulsory. So like, thanks New York. I would say something about wishing I was still in Chicago but anyone who has been to Chicago knows that is not true. You're probably just as likely to get groped there. Maybe only 80% as likely. But they card a lot more.
Whatever. I hate old people. Especially the handsy kind.