(no subject)

[bbelt55]

Fuck. That's the word for it.....not really much more to say to sum up the last few days. yesterday, after a few hours of trying to get things in order for most of my family to go to the beach, I managed to hit a car with my Grandmother's car coming out onto the highway. now, it wasn't all that serious, ( a 650 dollar repair bill, it wasn't the interstate) but it just started a rolling steam train of bad stuff. next, my mother found out that it was impossible to get a beach sticker for the town of Falmouth (where my Grandmother has lived for 25+ years) because my Grandmother can no longer drive. so, in the eyes of the town, she is no longer eligible for either a beach or dump sticker. so basically my Grandmother pays 50% of her fixed income to a town that gives her ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in return. of course, that got my mom mad, and she was really pissy the rest of the day. but, IO didn't have to deal with that for long, because I get a phone call. My Boss's boss wants me at work as soon as possible. so I drive up to work. the reason? he wants the manager to go home at 3 instead of 5 M-Th instead of Fri-Sun. well, a little more money can't hurt right? wrong. no A/C, we keep the doors open, a kettle blasting 300 degrees+, and generally pissy customers. so, after a while of sweating I go to the back to sit for a while, after hearing about all the new 'happy couples' at the Fudgery, (which I'm really getting sick of, seeing people slobber over each other in my store and other places in which I'm in the vicinity of) and take a look at the calendar. then I finally see that it's been a year since the whole Erin thing. that just got too me too much. I stayed there for about 15 min. just thinking. then one of the employees comes to the back and asks if I'm alright. I tell her about what I've been thinking about (I've known her since middle school) and she says "your not contemplating suicide are you?" when I answer with a definitive 'no' she said, 'well that's good, I was afraid I'd have to slap you'. something tells me that if I really WAS in that state of mind, slapping me would not have been the way to go. so yeah. it's been a tough couple of days, with no clear way to end it. maybe the change in the weather that's coming will help. maybe it won't. but one thing I'm sure of is that it WILL be better, lonely or not.
Thank God there's only a few more weeks untill I'm back to Gettysburg.......I miss it so..........