Hangover
I remember the good old days when people can get together and drink lots of beer. Sometimes good amount of baijiu was consumed. But nowadays I just cannot. Drinking is a problem.
To drink a beer requires an occasion. At least one has to have achieved something, also without concerns. At least one cannot drink before kids go to bed. That's the worst lesson I learned in 2021, when I had to drive JY to ER when his teeth were knocked out by another kid. It is impossible for kids to stay safe unless they are in bed. Even at that time they may fall and break some bones. With that in mind, what can be the right occasion?
When one is too tired, it is not proper to drink beer, because one would lose more control. The feeling of losing control is not just for the night, but the second day. And it is not just losing control to arm and legs, tongue and mouth. The feeling is dulled. The thoughts are stopped or never come (have you waited for the train of thought?) And the tiresome feeling of let it be will be around all day, maybe a few more days. There are things you want to do or should do but cannot. One can barely catch the schedule, yet don't know what to say when it is one's turn.
Yesterday, or recently, there were so many news in new software/releases, esp. the AI stuff. I also am typing on a new laptop, newly installed Fedora 38 beta (Silverblue) and still working on setting up (cannot decide which software should be Flatpak/toolbox, which should not.) New software, new hardware, new projects and new people at work, new strategy or new policy. New bankrupt cases, new education credits. At the beginning of year I was like afraid of choosing which to give up, which to take. Right now I am not afraid of that, since the ongoing work has kept me busy. But one would doubt anything I overlooked now could come back in a scary form.
I got new laptops from time to time, but none is comfortable. Fast machines are heavy, but has the best keyboard and the worst battery life (and hot). The laptop is not really new - I got a off-lease Dell Precision 5540 for $700, replacing an old 4700. And I was hoping to replace the work laptop (5530) to a newer model (5570). I have no doubt I can still replace hardware many times in my life, but going forward the terminal will not be as important as the machines running in the cloud. One only needs a comfortable keyboard and screen, to connect to some behemoth in the cloud; and the end result could as well run on the RPi.
So what not to feel hungover about? It could be the natural reaction to danger, that the mind and body "freeze". The past experience was just so-so, why would someone who only runs a few miles be able to catch up with others in a marathon? (The sensation from finish running might be another type of hangover.) How to resume from the initial freeze, how to start running, that's the question. To go from a dull and painful one, to a happy and exciting one.