I think my body is broken.
.o1) So, Brit. Lit. will be the fucking death of me. I'm just lucky Mr. Monfredo is the biggest D&D nerd, and doesn't really scare me. He's so un threatening, that I almost feel bad about not doing my work, but at least he doesn't bother me about it. He respects my personal decision and independence to fuck up my own life, and treats me like a human. So, that's good. Right now, if I had 3 wishes, one of them would be to go back into the Anglo-Saxon period, find the author of Beowulf, and just slap him around.
.o2) Today, epitomized all that is Sunday. Cold. Rainy. Dark. BEFORE MONDAY. Grrr. I hate Sundays. I think most of my hate is derrived from the feeling they give me. I don't have the typical, "Ugh, it's Sunday, work/school tomorrow..." mentality. Sundays are more nostalgic to me than they are anything else. Which makes me sad, and really long for the past. Sundays, for me, don't necessarily have a negative connotation to them, it's more of a sad-sick-to-my-stomach weird, eerie feeling.
.o3) I think Rachel Sachs is dead. Well, I mean, she's not dead, I'm sure her parents would have told me if she died. I just, haven't seen her since July 3rd, or heard from her. That's when I had to leave her house because I got really sick/my grandpa had a heart attack.
.o4) Things like that always seem to happen. I mean, everyone has some kind of tuition. I got really sick the night before my grandpa had a heart attack. And in 4th grade, right before my grandpa died, I had a nightmare. And while I'm rational enough to realize these are coincidences, I lose a lot of sleep over it, and anytime I get sick/have a stomach ache, I get really nervous and have to make sure everyone in my family is okay.
.o5) I really want to watch, Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Not happening. I don't know where it is. I bet it's at Sean's house. Lost in the abyss of his bedroom. His bedroom. GAH, I hate it. It's cold, and his carpet smells like ass. It's always... DAMP, in there. Smells like cottage cheese and wet clothes. He doesn't even sleep with sheets on his bed. HOW can people do that? His room is just always cold, smelly, and wet. Like a cave with dead things in it. And cottage cheese. I will ALWAYS associate cottage cheese with Sean.
.o6) Halloween's coming up. Which usually excites me. Because it's always fabulous every year. Everyone's here. It's like Christmas, but less sad and dysfunctional. And every year, we hang out and do stuff, all of my cousins and I. And then in the evening, Mortal Kombat is always on t.v, and all of us, Kasia, Liz, Sean, Lauren, Ange, Chrissy, Nick and I watch it. At Baci's house. And even though we didn't go trick or treating, there's candy, because my aunts, grandma and mom all buy candy, even though NO ONE comes to our houses trick or treating. Because our town is all old Polish immigrants. But, I know this year that's not going to happen. Sean is an asshole. A stupid fucking asshole, who I hate. HATE. hate. hate hate hate. Hatehatehatehate. Lauren doesn't seem like she really likes me anymore. Liz is gone to college, Kasia's older now, and goes out partying. Damn! She's 25. Holy shit. That's almost 30. Ange doesn't hang around, she's too GANGSTA. And too busy buying herself a reputation as a... well, I can't even say it to a livejournal, because I'd STILL feel bad. But she's so young, why the fuck Ange. Why. Seriously. She's the only one I had hope for in our family, beside my brother. Bleh. I don't even want to think about any of this anymore. This fall is going to suck. Which sucks. Because I love fall. At least I'll have time to go out in the woods like I used to? Even if Lauren isn't there :\.
.o7) I don't even remember the rest of the crap I was speculating on today. All I did was sleep and play outside. I think my body's broken. Anytime I eat something, it throws it back up. It's pretty awesome. I'm really kind of sad lately, and kind of really really want some company. Which makes me feel whiny and stupid. But, it's true.
.o2) Today, epitomized all that is Sunday. Cold. Rainy. Dark. BEFORE MONDAY. Grrr. I hate Sundays. I think most of my hate is derrived from the feeling they give me. I don't have the typical, "Ugh, it's Sunday, work/school tomorrow..." mentality. Sundays are more nostalgic to me than they are anything else. Which makes me sad, and really long for the past. Sundays, for me, don't necessarily have a negative connotation to them, it's more of a sad-sick-to-my-stomach weird, eerie feeling.
.o3) I think Rachel Sachs is dead. Well, I mean, she's not dead, I'm sure her parents would have told me if she died. I just, haven't seen her since July 3rd, or heard from her. That's when I had to leave her house because I got really sick/my grandpa had a heart attack.
.o4) Things like that always seem to happen. I mean, everyone has some kind of tuition. I got really sick the night before my grandpa had a heart attack. And in 4th grade, right before my grandpa died, I had a nightmare. And while I'm rational enough to realize these are coincidences, I lose a lot of sleep over it, and anytime I get sick/have a stomach ache, I get really nervous and have to make sure everyone in my family is okay.
.o5) I really want to watch, Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Not happening. I don't know where it is. I bet it's at Sean's house. Lost in the abyss of his bedroom. His bedroom. GAH, I hate it. It's cold, and his carpet smells like ass. It's always... DAMP, in there. Smells like cottage cheese and wet clothes. He doesn't even sleep with sheets on his bed. HOW can people do that? His room is just always cold, smelly, and wet. Like a cave with dead things in it. And cottage cheese. I will ALWAYS associate cottage cheese with Sean.
.o6) Halloween's coming up. Which usually excites me. Because it's always fabulous every year. Everyone's here. It's like Christmas, but less sad and dysfunctional. And every year, we hang out and do stuff, all of my cousins and I. And then in the evening, Mortal Kombat is always on t.v, and all of us, Kasia, Liz, Sean, Lauren, Ange, Chrissy, Nick and I watch it. At Baci's house. And even though we didn't go trick or treating, there's candy, because my aunts, grandma and mom all buy candy, even though NO ONE comes to our houses trick or treating. Because our town is all old Polish immigrants. But, I know this year that's not going to happen. Sean is an asshole. A stupid fucking asshole, who I hate. HATE. hate. hate hate hate. Hatehatehatehate. Lauren doesn't seem like she really likes me anymore. Liz is gone to college, Kasia's older now, and goes out partying. Damn! She's 25. Holy shit. That's almost 30. Ange doesn't hang around, she's too GANGSTA. And too busy buying herself a reputation as a... well, I can't even say it to a livejournal, because I'd STILL feel bad. But she's so young, why the fuck Ange. Why. Seriously. She's the only one I had hope for in our family, beside my brother. Bleh. I don't even want to think about any of this anymore. This fall is going to suck. Which sucks. Because I love fall. At least I'll have time to go out in the woods like I used to? Even if Lauren isn't there :\.
.o7) I don't even remember the rest of the crap I was speculating on today. All I did was sleep and play outside. I think my body's broken. Anytime I eat something, it throws it back up. It's pretty awesome. I'm really kind of sad lately, and kind of really really want some company. Which makes me feel whiny and stupid. But, it's true.