Change Change Change.
Sometimes I wish I could just help others.
I have an awesome sense for meeting people right before their world crashes around them, and I tend to be standing right in the middle of it all.
Truth is, I've run dry of advice, maybe even common sense.
Even if it's a situation that I lived through..
You can ask me.. "how did you do it?"
I have no idea... And that's what I tell people who ask.
"I'm not sure."
But part of my world has been crumbling slowly too.
HOW? My world is so new..
The past has already fallen, I'm in "RECONSTRUCTION MODE."
Shouldn't you have something established before it starts unestablishing?
Well, I built a faulty foundation...
And I realized this recently.
Over the weekend when shit hit the fan...
I saw myself coping.. and It reminded me of how I coped before.
I remembered how I dealt with the hand given to me in life....
Truth is.. I didn't.
My idea of dealing with things is smoking a blunt...
Taking a few shots....
Deleting phone numbers..
and smacking myself everytime I think about what went wrong.
I'm walking through life thinking that I have everything figured out.
Acting like I'm this strong person..
"look at me, look at what happened to me and I'M o-k."
I'm not okay.
I'm ignoring it.
It's not okay for people to hate me.
It's not okay that I didn't go to any of my friends funerals.
It's not okay to act like drugs don't kill people.
It's not okay that Sean hates me.
It's not okay that I'm not in school.
It's not okay that I haven't accomplished ANYTHING worth bragging over.
But I'm walking through life like everythings okay.
Like I have control of my world...
.. and that's when people start coming.
They're coming with their problems... their griefs.
They're venting to me concerns, hardships..
All they want is for me to tell them that things are going to be okay.
What should I tell them?
Smoke a blunt.. ignore it.
Truth is, the world isn't going to stop spinning for anyone.
I have an awesome sense for meeting people right before their world crashes around them, and I tend to be standing right in the middle of it all.
Truth is, I've run dry of advice, maybe even common sense.
Even if it's a situation that I lived through..
You can ask me.. "how did you do it?"
I have no idea... And that's what I tell people who ask.
"I'm not sure."
But part of my world has been crumbling slowly too.
HOW? My world is so new..
The past has already fallen, I'm in "RECONSTRUCTION MODE."
Shouldn't you have something established before it starts unestablishing?
Well, I built a faulty foundation...
And I realized this recently.
Over the weekend when shit hit the fan...
I saw myself coping.. and It reminded me of how I coped before.
I remembered how I dealt with the hand given to me in life....
Truth is.. I didn't.
My idea of dealing with things is smoking a blunt...
Taking a few shots....
Deleting phone numbers..
and smacking myself everytime I think about what went wrong.
I'm walking through life thinking that I have everything figured out.
Acting like I'm this strong person..
"look at me, look at what happened to me and I'M o-k."
I'm not okay.
I'm ignoring it.
It's not okay for people to hate me.
It's not okay that I didn't go to any of my friends funerals.
It's not okay to act like drugs don't kill people.
It's not okay that Sean hates me.
It's not okay that I'm not in school.
It's not okay that I haven't accomplished ANYTHING worth bragging over.
But I'm walking through life like everythings okay.
Like I have control of my world...
.. and that's when people start coming.
They're coming with their problems... their griefs.
They're venting to me concerns, hardships..
All they want is for me to tell them that things are going to be okay.
What should I tell them?
Smoke a blunt.. ignore it.
Truth is, the world isn't going to stop spinning for anyone.