(no subject)
i want to move to LA for a week to just wander around and bump into celebrities. and have casual conversations with them in elevators and act like i do this sort of thing all the time. if i could meet anyone at all i would meet andy warhol, not to sound cliche or anything but i would. even though he is dead. he always seemed like such an interesting man and i like the way he sees the world. today i went to borders for three hours and took my shoes off because they were giving me giving me red marks on the backs of my heels right below my ankles. old ladies were looking at me funny but the old men just smiled. old women are rigid. anyway.
i ate a banana nut muffin there and listen to my ipod as i read naked lunch in one of those big ol black coufy leather chairs. i sort of felt bad for taking up the chair for so long because there were probably other people who wanted to use it. maybe they were secertly watching me from far away wondering when (if ever) i would get up. it was probably some old woman.
for christmas i got a lot of stuff and everything that i wanted and i feel really grateful. at borders i spent 90$ and for some reason now i feel bad about it and i can't figure out why. as if i don't deserve it. because people are susposed to have everything that they want. that's not the way things are supposed to be. in hopes this feeling would go away i spent the whole day cleaning my room because i couldn't see my floor and i was tired of being a pig. but my feeling didn't go away. and i want it to because i don't know what's wrong with me.
my stomach/head hurts.
last night i talked to this guy that used to love me and i never loved him back and he is one guy that i know no matter what he will always truly care about me and in ten years i will forget his name and our realtionship. but it's nice to know there are people like that in the world. he told me he dropped out of college a week before finals so he's working at mcdonalds now. he's ninteen and he's going nowhere with his life. i never want to know how that feels .
there was a boy at borders who worked there and saw me reading and talked to me. he wasn't a good talker, though. he asked me for my number and i gave it to him. if he calls and asks for me i will just have my brother tell him i'm in the bathroom. i don't know why he asked for it anyway, i looked like shit today. he was actually cute but the only thing we have in common is that we both like naked lunch. i just figure that isn't much basis to any sort of realtionship.
i'm going to bed because i feel weird. goodnight.
i ate a banana nut muffin there and listen to my ipod as i read naked lunch in one of those big ol black coufy leather chairs. i sort of felt bad for taking up the chair for so long because there were probably other people who wanted to use it. maybe they were secertly watching me from far away wondering when (if ever) i would get up. it was probably some old woman.
for christmas i got a lot of stuff and everything that i wanted and i feel really grateful. at borders i spent 90$ and for some reason now i feel bad about it and i can't figure out why. as if i don't deserve it. because people are susposed to have everything that they want. that's not the way things are supposed to be. in hopes this feeling would go away i spent the whole day cleaning my room because i couldn't see my floor and i was tired of being a pig. but my feeling didn't go away. and i want it to because i don't know what's wrong with me.
my stomach/head hurts.
last night i talked to this guy that used to love me and i never loved him back and he is one guy that i know no matter what he will always truly care about me and in ten years i will forget his name and our realtionship. but it's nice to know there are people like that in the world. he told me he dropped out of college a week before finals so he's working at mcdonalds now. he's ninteen and he's going nowhere with his life. i never want to know how that feels .
there was a boy at borders who worked there and saw me reading and talked to me. he wasn't a good talker, though. he asked me for my number and i gave it to him. if he calls and asks for me i will just have my brother tell him i'm in the bathroom. i don't know why he asked for it anyway, i looked like shit today. he was actually cute but the only thing we have in common is that we both like naked lunch. i just figure that isn't much basis to any sort of realtionship.
i'm going to bed because i feel weird. goodnight.