Jan 19, 2005 19:11
Thinking conceptually about photography is one of the hardest things ever. I'm not in a photo class currently, but I look at some of the pictures I've taken and they truly lack any purpose. Sometimes I feel like art and artists lack purpose, they know it, and that's why they push so fucking hard to include meanings, etc. In drawing, we were doing our critiques on our projects. The project entailed us to take an object and draw it over and over in different instances and zooming in with different line qualities, etc. Essentially -- an object study... not a line quality study. I figured she included the idea of using different line qualities for those who weren't super conceptual thinkers.
I did a cell phone. Now drawing isn't my strong suit by any means, so I really tried to push things conceptually. I looked at my cell phone and sort of kicked myself because, really, Verizon does not need any more advertising. I went along that thoughtline and realized that the entire cell phone thing is semi-retarded. Not that that is an original thought, but I went with it.
So I had things that were zoomed in to just the camera part of my phone... in the black of the lens I wrote "This is in ovation" and the s's were written backward... it looked like a blackboard and chalk, basically... all to signify how retarded camera and video phones are. They have all these innovative things for phones, but really, the entire purpose of the phone still can't be perfectly achieved as I drop calls all the time.
I had another piece that I used stippling to create my lines and I drew my phone 4 times open and closed twice --- front and back. I had lines representing signals going from the antenna on each phone. Underneath all that, I wrote in stippling "You're breaking up." Other people used stippling, but there was no relation to the object they were drawing.
I had another piece where a guy was holding the phone toward you... so the phone was the size of the guy... and he wasn't really drawn in very clearly, he had no facial features. I had a conversational/cartoon bubble that said "Hi, I'm exploiting my celebrity status to endorse this product. Thank you." I left him vague because it really doesn't matter who it is, and society cycles through who we consider celebrities constantly. Moreover, there is rarely any good reason for most people's celebrity.
I had another where I used the pages of a magazine to form most of the lines. The lines formed a magazine and the phone was shown in an advertisement. It said, "Verizon: Buy or Die." On the other page was a commentary on Time Warner. "Because global corporate domination can't be completed alone"... and Digital Blah Blah Blah were included.
My last of the five was this drawing that looked super childlike which transformed the phone into a racecar. I said it looked childlike because the idea of objects becoming vehicles is childish as it is... blah blah blah.
Now, I hate to bore you with the details of my [lackluster] drawing project. I'm not even claiming it to be a masterpiece. But I don't really understand how I received a bad critique when there were actual purposes for what I put on the paper. True, it could have used less words. But there is quite a tendency for people to take one thing and try to apply their own meanings to it. I wanted people to know that I wasn't stippling because that's a somewhat abnormal way to create line, but because it represents the bad connection that cell phones can give. Besides, people put the title of pieces in the composition all the time (printmaking, anyone?) It'd be one thing if it was a line study, but then, I still feel like I accomplished most things there... I used a variety of mediums... two were pencil, three were ink... the two in pencil were pretty clean, but one magnified the phone like 9 times -- I measured everything out to keep the proportions correct, one in ink was expressive, one was stippling, and one was made with a magazine. And then I went beyond that by pushing myself conceptually. I guess I just feel like I can't really win. I'm in drawing class, feeling engaged, and it's still wrong.
There's this one kid who, during critiques, takes every piece and tells the class what it reminds him of -- even if it's a totally poor piece. I feel like artists do this a lot... and I feel like it's such a mastubatory action. It becomes less about the art and more about the person talking about the art and that's retarded. For whatever reason, the fire alarm was pulled, and we were out there chilling and I was talking to some friends being like... "Our teacher eats up the dumbest shit. I bet if someone was like 'I bloodletted onto this page and swirled it around' that she would love it." So we go back in, and when the aforementioned mastubatory kid's turn came up to critique his work, one of his pieces had red lines. This is how the conversation basically went, "So I was opening this package, right... and I cut my finger... and then I looked over to my right and there was my drawing board, so I thought, 'Let's create,' and that's what happened." Retarded.
Anywho. That was a pretty intense description of one or two sessions of class. I apologize. I guess this is one of those entries that I want to have for myself in the future. It is my journal after all.
3D was also kind of frustrating. We're supposed to magnify an object to about 4 feet. I wanted to do a container of floss. She said that was too simple... it seems kind of arbitrary. The assignment is supposed to be a basic exercise in object magnification, yet it's supposed to be complex enough for some standard, yet still have some sort of meaning... If you're not understanding my description of the situation well, it's because I don't understand it well enough to describe it.
Art history is somewhat interesting and really boring at the same time. It's going to be so hard to remember that shit.
And English is okay. I hate writing about things that don't matter to me. And I hate the propensity for film buffs to look at every little thing and apply a meaning to it... when I really doubt that filmmakers are that thoughtful. And I'm not talking about major motifs. By all means, those elements are deliberate... shrug.
Sometimes my mind can't sift through my own life. Sometimes I get wrapped up in things that don't matter, and I don't mean in the grand scheme of life thing... but I mean, literally, the most minute details thereof. Maybe that's just a response to the truth that my life will never get figured out, and if it is, it'll only be momentary. I feel like in my life, far too often, I've been so afraid of the unknown... or, rather, the unknown that everyone says is likely true. Sometimes I wonder if I've inherited things. Everyone seems to have aspects about them that are fucked up. I wonder what mine are? I wonder how much the shit with my parents has and/or will negatively affect me? Sometimes I get really frustrated/worn down/clustered and then other times I feel clear. I don't know what teeters that pendulum to either extreme. I don't write poetry as often at all anymore. I feel like when I'm done with school, I'll still need the direction of a professor on what to create... or groundwork/boundaries for what to create. I feel like I'll never be self-sufficient in art. And from there, why am I doing it? What else am I going to do?
When will I ever grow up?
The new Aesop Rock EP is... interesting. I'm going to give it a chance mos def because it's Aesop and because I had a similar reaction with Bazooka Tooth and I ended up liking that. I don't know. His steelo has changed in the past few years. He's become more... hip hop, less textbooky... and he exaggerates his words immensely. That's arguably better, more flashy, gives the listener something more to bite into/grasp as opposed to being almost completely unaccessible. But then, that was always the charm of Aesop. He did his shit in his own way. He still does... but... whatevs.
Brad brought his TV, X-Box, X-Box Live, Halo 2, and his headset down this past weekend. I mean, it's all good... but wow, he's always trashtalking to people he doesn't know... and it's rarely clever. That type of shit is entertaining for a little bit, and I am by no means against trashtalking with people you DO know -- but otherwise, it's just retarded. And it's always loud. And I've had a headahce for the past 3 days and have been sick. Although I do think that the room rearrangement was a good idea, I really hate how often there are other people in this room. I hate to be a partypooper, but I've always liked my private space, especially with folk I don't know. My college experience would probably improve greatly if my roommate was a cooler, more laid back dude... though he could be worse.
I think I'm going to end this shit here. Drivel? Survey points to yes.