that's right... underoath
I find it a constant battle to manage new jams with old nostalgic favorites. I left some of my favorite music at home because there just wasn't room to bring it. Sometimes being a music addict/indie afficionado has its drawbacks. There just simply isn't enough time to listen to all the good music out there. It's daunting and comforting at the same time. I'll never run out, at least.
This break has been kind of boring. I need a job so much. I just want to make like a few hundred dollars maybe. It will get better once everyone returns to Westerville and goes on break. I bet THAT'S when I'll get my job.
My life stays confusing.
A lot of times I wish I had a closer relationship with my brother. I think close sibling relationships are based on doing/saying things with your sibling that you can't with anyone else. So, in that, I'm not close with my brother because I always feel like anything I do/say will be told to my parents. He always thinks my parents are too easy on me. Maybe they are. But he always takes it upon himself to try to instigate some movement to punish me or something. It's bad.
I've been scanning a lot of shit. http://soitgoesrambo.deviantart.com is the website I have my shit on right now. Click Deviation Gallery. I may change sites some day in the future for security reasons. Anyway. If you like my work (or at least are interested in seeing it), I'd recommend bookmarking that page because I'm going to try to update close to daily. I left a good portion of my newer/better negatives at school so things will pick up when I go back.
People have been giving me a lot of compliments on my work lately. OU Amy told me about this photographer in VisComm who has done shoots for National Geographic and Sports Illustrated (the NBA and MLB of photography, in my opinion) and he's only like a junior in college. I wonder if I'm good enough to get jobs like that (not necessarily that skilled, but a photography-related job where I actually take pictures) even as a semi-young man. I wonder how I would even go for that. What the steps are. And/or if it's even worth a try. I just hate how I have all these inklings of wonder about my future, my options... or even milking the present. (this has to do with my photography, but could perhaps be related to other aspects of my life too) I hate how I have all these questions, but no one can give me answers. My adviser at school is not knowledgeable because he's a painter. I won't even be in a photo class next quarter, so there's no professor to talk to. All the higher-up professors seem inaccessible, seem too busy for a freshman.
I feel like my style is changing/evolving a little. This has occurred before so far in my "art life." I'm welcoming the change, really. It will only make me more well-rounded. It just kind of causes me to be in between things too.
I wonder how well I'll do in my English class next quarter. English could possibly be my best subject, but the last few classes I've taken in high school I've completely not read what I needed to read.
My sleeping/eating schedule is so... abnormal? I think I may have gained a lot of weight over this break. Not good, not bad.
I wonder when I'll become less trite.
Sometimes I really wish I had a car. I'm so spoiled though. I have everything I need and most everything I'd want. I just feel so dependant on people for rides. I feel very much like a nuisance.
My parents are luda.
I'm still not seeing everyone I'd like to. Sometimes I feel like a lot of people don't like me... or they don't appreciate any length of time beyond a few minutes with my presence.
Sometimes I feel so strange. Out of place. I know it's normal to feel that sometimes... but I feel it a majority of the time. I just wonder why I'm here. In Ohio. Alive? What was I created to do? Who even presides over that?
I feel quite unwanted by women. Have I fallen behind? Does being younger really change things that much? My RA (who Scott Hanes knows by the way, haha, waft and weird!) said I seem very mature... like I'm above a lot of the antics that happens on my floor. This is probably true, but I'm so much younger. I have always overcompensated for maturity my entire life because I'm younger than the rest of my grade. I can't tell if that's good or not.
Ah yes. In the month of december, to chief is to waft, ladies and gents. Spread it throughout the hillside. I'm finding that I really enjoy Scott Hanes's company. What up, brother?
This break has been kind of boring. I need a job so much. I just want to make like a few hundred dollars maybe. It will get better once everyone returns to Westerville and goes on break. I bet THAT'S when I'll get my job.
My life stays confusing.
A lot of times I wish I had a closer relationship with my brother. I think close sibling relationships are based on doing/saying things with your sibling that you can't with anyone else. So, in that, I'm not close with my brother because I always feel like anything I do/say will be told to my parents. He always thinks my parents are too easy on me. Maybe they are. But he always takes it upon himself to try to instigate some movement to punish me or something. It's bad.
I've been scanning a lot of shit. http://soitgoesrambo.deviantart.com is the website I have my shit on right now. Click Deviation Gallery. I may change sites some day in the future for security reasons. Anyway. If you like my work (or at least are interested in seeing it), I'd recommend bookmarking that page because I'm going to try to update close to daily. I left a good portion of my newer/better negatives at school so things will pick up when I go back.
People have been giving me a lot of compliments on my work lately. OU Amy told me about this photographer in VisComm who has done shoots for National Geographic and Sports Illustrated (the NBA and MLB of photography, in my opinion) and he's only like a junior in college. I wonder if I'm good enough to get jobs like that (not necessarily that skilled, but a photography-related job where I actually take pictures) even as a semi-young man. I wonder how I would even go for that. What the steps are. And/or if it's even worth a try. I just hate how I have all these inklings of wonder about my future, my options... or even milking the present. (this has to do with my photography, but could perhaps be related to other aspects of my life too) I hate how I have all these questions, but no one can give me answers. My adviser at school is not knowledgeable because he's a painter. I won't even be in a photo class next quarter, so there's no professor to talk to. All the higher-up professors seem inaccessible, seem too busy for a freshman.
I feel like my style is changing/evolving a little. This has occurred before so far in my "art life." I'm welcoming the change, really. It will only make me more well-rounded. It just kind of causes me to be in between things too.
I wonder how well I'll do in my English class next quarter. English could possibly be my best subject, but the last few classes I've taken in high school I've completely not read what I needed to read.
My sleeping/eating schedule is so... abnormal? I think I may have gained a lot of weight over this break. Not good, not bad.
I wonder when I'll become less trite.
Sometimes I really wish I had a car. I'm so spoiled though. I have everything I need and most everything I'd want. I just feel so dependant on people for rides. I feel very much like a nuisance.
My parents are luda.
I'm still not seeing everyone I'd like to. Sometimes I feel like a lot of people don't like me... or they don't appreciate any length of time beyond a few minutes with my presence.
Sometimes I feel so strange. Out of place. I know it's normal to feel that sometimes... but I feel it a majority of the time. I just wonder why I'm here. In Ohio. Alive? What was I created to do? Who even presides over that?
I feel quite unwanted by women. Have I fallen behind? Does being younger really change things that much? My RA (who Scott Hanes knows by the way, haha, waft and weird!) said I seem very mature... like I'm above a lot of the antics that happens on my floor. This is probably true, but I'm so much younger. I have always overcompensated for maturity my entire life because I'm younger than the rest of my grade. I can't tell if that's good or not.
Ah yes. In the month of december, to chief is to waft, ladies and gents. Spread it throughout the hillside. I'm finding that I really enjoy Scott Hanes's company. What up, brother?