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sorry its been so long everybody. ive had alot on my plate
ive been thinking. alot of my thoughts arnt rightly mine. i mean, my depression kinda makes me feel so different, like another person. i just want to be alone when i love being around my friends and meeting new people, and the apathy that comes with it really sucks. its nothing, its like there's nothing but a big hole in my chest... and noone seems to want to help. thats how the world is nowadays, just people looking out for themselves, raising people to look out for themself.
after work today i went to go get in my car, and i overheard someone talking in tears, saying things like 'its disgusting and wrong'. i dont know what she was crying over, but it got her really worked up. i wished i could have helped, but somthing else she said made me feel alittle uncomfortable, and triggered my apathy. she said 'your generation is fake. your world is fake.'
she's absolutly right
all of the people my age are so ambitous but have nowhere to go. they talk about the future and make no changes and take no steps to achieve it. in the end they all go to parties and drink then try to drive home. in the end they all have sex at 13 and wonder why they get pregnant. and here i am, being a hipocrite.
im takeing no steps. im not changing shit, and i feel justified. everytime i try to take a step im stopped in my tracks by these stupid... humans. they want nothing but what they want for themselves. all i want is to be left alone, to be just by mtself where people cant hurt me and i cant hurt people. its not a difficult request. i think thats another reason id like to become a novelist, or a palywrite. it gets my emotions out of ME and out into the world. the less the better.
my life is nothing but depression now adays and i cant seem to get it to go away. i need help and i cant get it alone. i cant do it. i dont know what to do and my parents just say 'we're getting to it'
i pray to god that my life will get better, or at least be able to see how good it is. i dont think i can last much longer like this.
peave love leather glove
=BB=
ive been thinking. alot of my thoughts arnt rightly mine. i mean, my depression kinda makes me feel so different, like another person. i just want to be alone when i love being around my friends and meeting new people, and the apathy that comes with it really sucks. its nothing, its like there's nothing but a big hole in my chest... and noone seems to want to help. thats how the world is nowadays, just people looking out for themselves, raising people to look out for themself.
after work today i went to go get in my car, and i overheard someone talking in tears, saying things like 'its disgusting and wrong'. i dont know what she was crying over, but it got her really worked up. i wished i could have helped, but somthing else she said made me feel alittle uncomfortable, and triggered my apathy. she said 'your generation is fake. your world is fake.'
she's absolutly right
all of the people my age are so ambitous but have nowhere to go. they talk about the future and make no changes and take no steps to achieve it. in the end they all go to parties and drink then try to drive home. in the end they all have sex at 13 and wonder why they get pregnant. and here i am, being a hipocrite.
im takeing no steps. im not changing shit, and i feel justified. everytime i try to take a step im stopped in my tracks by these stupid... humans. they want nothing but what they want for themselves. all i want is to be left alone, to be just by mtself where people cant hurt me and i cant hurt people. its not a difficult request. i think thats another reason id like to become a novelist, or a palywrite. it gets my emotions out of ME and out into the world. the less the better.
my life is nothing but depression now adays and i cant seem to get it to go away. i need help and i cant get it alone. i cant do it. i dont know what to do and my parents just say 'we're getting to it'
i pray to god that my life will get better, or at least be able to see how good it is. i dont think i can last much longer like this.
peave love leather glove
=BB=