If I Didn't Care 5/?
About: AU. A sort of “worst case senario” situation. Story takes place after the fourth season wraps up as if Gus won the feud. The kids end up with Hank and Marie and Walt, Skyler and Jesse leave town, on the run from Gus. Spoilers through season 4, to be safe.
Rating: eventual nc-17
Pairing: Walt/Jesse, Walt/Skyler/Jesse
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit, just for fun.
Sorry this part took so long!
Walt’s staring again.
At Jesse. Skyler doesn’t know how the kid doesn’t see it. Doesn’t feel it on the back of his neck.
Today it’s when he gets up from the table at Denny’s to go outside for a smoke. Walt watches him the entire time. Maybe he was just being overly cautious. The inherent watchfulness that fathers develop. Make sure everyone in the unit is accounted for. That made sense, Skyler thought. She’d seen it before. She had helped him chaperone several field trips over the years, he’d been very attentive. Making sure everybody had what they needed. It made absolute sense.
-----------
They've just finished eating at a particularly sleazy looking truck stop.
"Ughh, look at this place. Yo, we can't actually eat here." Jesse had said out in the parking lot, tone dripping with disgust.
"Just…don't order any meat." Her husband had said, before leading them inside.
Walt and Skyler are sitting at the table, waiting for the waitress to bring back the little leather booklet with change for a hundred. Jesse had gone up to the front to buy cigarettes and Skyler notices Walt’s attention follow. She almost aks. But she’s tired. And doesn’t feel like starting a conversation about bad qualities or danger or how fast they have to drive or how careful they have to be. It made her feel kind of lazy, avoiding conversations like these. But she really can’t make herself care. So she stays silent and watches Walt watch Jesse.
The look on his face is hard to read. Even for a woman who’d known him, seen him everyday for nearly two decades. Scrutinizing maybe? Worried? Irritated? Irritated was likely. He always seemed to be that way around Jesse. She wonders not for the first time why that is. Sure, the kid said some dumb things. And then there was the generation gap. And the stressful situation they were in couldn’t help. But you’d think after the amount of time Walt has presumably spent with him he’d be able to navigate a conversation without loosing his cool. But Jesse puts up with it. It’s a strange dynamic. And the way the kid calls him ‘Mr. White’.
She glances over through the plexiglass partition that seperatges the rest stop side from the diner side and looks for Jesse. He’s standing, bleary eyed, at the empty counter. A few women pass him by on their way outside. Neither party gives the other any mind. Skyler looks back to her husband and reconsiders asking. She hears the couple behind them start to argue and sighs.
After all, she really is very tired. It’s nearly eleven.
---------
It happens slowly. She wonders if it's purposeful. Like they think if they do this gradually enough she won't notice. She supposes she started it. Making them sleep in the same bed.
But then she couldn't have started it. There had to be something there before. Some dynamic she's never been privy to. She wonders if maybe this isn't the beginning she's witnessing. A heterosexual, married man doesn't develop feelings for some boy young enough to be his son out of the blue.
Although what does she know anymore.
They've been on the road for weeks when she wakes, looks over at the other bed to see only Walt's sleeping face. She levers herself out of bed, headed for the weak spray of another strange shower, assuming the kid went out for another cigarette but she can see him now. He's pressed up close enough to Walt's back that he'd been completely obscured by him from the other side. She doesn't think much of it at the time. Even the way one of Jesse's hands is fisted in the back of her husband's shirt. She just goes in to shower. And when she comes out they've separated.
It becomes a more frequent thing. When she's the one to wake up first anyway. It seems to cycle through all three of them, taking turns. Like they've got assigned days. But on her days they'll be pressed close together. Sometimes it looks accidental. Like either one could've rolled over in their sleep and just gotten stuck. But then there's days like today when Walt's got the kid pulled to him, arm around him. Jesse's head on his chest. And maybe she should feel some sort of annoyance. Or betrayal.
Really the only thing she feels is curiosity.
------
She wakes up in the dark this time. To the sound of whispered arguments.
"Will you stop?" It's Jesse.
Walt responds with a rustling of sheets.
"Mr. White. Hey. Hey! Stop. Mr. White. Mr. White." A beat. "Mr. White!"
"What!" Her husband hisses it. Never seems to be able to keep that frustration out of his tone completely when he's talking to Jesse. She thinks for the first time she understands why.
"I said stop. Or maybe that doesn't matter to you." He sounds bitter and the tone seems to triple the weight of the air around them. It's silent for a moment.
"Jesse. Jesse. Of course it does. I just...got excited." Bed creaks, body moves away. "Of course it matters." Walt reassures. It's so important to him. Reassurance. Desperate for people to believe him. "What do you want Jesse?" There's a weight in his tone. Death sentence.
"Jesus. Don't be so dramatic, Mr. White." Jesse's tone is softer, bitterness gone but tired. "Just 'cause I don't want it right now...I'm like...I still like the idea." The potential argument has been avoided for now. Good mood on both sides allowing them to ignore shortcomings.
"Yeah?" Her eyes have adjusted to the dark and she can make out Jesse on his back, Walt leaning up on one elbow over him. "Like the idea. How much?"
An honest to god little happy giggle comes out of Jesse and even if she had been angry that would've killed it. "A lot.
"A lot?" Walt says.
"Yeah. A lot."
The ridiculousness of the situation....if she were to describe this to someone on the outside of it... Jesus. Her meth cook husband is sharing a bed with his partner, a former junkie, who's male, half his age and a former student and she's secretly listening to them flirt in the dark. Jesus.
"Jesus." It comes out of Walt's mouth then like she'd summoned it. "We could go in the bathroom." Walt suggests. There's a little edge to his voice that she recognizes as strained arousal. She hears the bed creak again, someone leaning forward and she can hear the wet sounds of mouth on skin. It isn't Jesse's mouth because she can hear his next words unhindered.
"Mr. White, you gotta stop. This is too weird...with you wife here." The last few words are even quieter but she catches them. That's as good an opening as any.
"I'm certainly not stopping you." She says, full volume.
Rating: eventual nc-17
Pairing: Walt/Jesse, Walt/Skyler/Jesse
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit, just for fun.
Sorry this part took so long!
Walt’s staring again.
At Jesse. Skyler doesn’t know how the kid doesn’t see it. Doesn’t feel it on the back of his neck.
Today it’s when he gets up from the table at Denny’s to go outside for a smoke. Walt watches him the entire time. Maybe he was just being overly cautious. The inherent watchfulness that fathers develop. Make sure everyone in the unit is accounted for. That made sense, Skyler thought. She’d seen it before. She had helped him chaperone several field trips over the years, he’d been very attentive. Making sure everybody had what they needed. It made absolute sense.
-----------
They've just finished eating at a particularly sleazy looking truck stop.
"Ughh, look at this place. Yo, we can't actually eat here." Jesse had said out in the parking lot, tone dripping with disgust.
"Just…don't order any meat." Her husband had said, before leading them inside.
Walt and Skyler are sitting at the table, waiting for the waitress to bring back the little leather booklet with change for a hundred. Jesse had gone up to the front to buy cigarettes and Skyler notices Walt’s attention follow. She almost aks. But she’s tired. And doesn’t feel like starting a conversation about bad qualities or danger or how fast they have to drive or how careful they have to be. It made her feel kind of lazy, avoiding conversations like these. But she really can’t make herself care. So she stays silent and watches Walt watch Jesse.
The look on his face is hard to read. Even for a woman who’d known him, seen him everyday for nearly two decades. Scrutinizing maybe? Worried? Irritated? Irritated was likely. He always seemed to be that way around Jesse. She wonders not for the first time why that is. Sure, the kid said some dumb things. And then there was the generation gap. And the stressful situation they were in couldn’t help. But you’d think after the amount of time Walt has presumably spent with him he’d be able to navigate a conversation without loosing his cool. But Jesse puts up with it. It’s a strange dynamic. And the way the kid calls him ‘Mr. White’.
She glances over through the plexiglass partition that seperatges the rest stop side from the diner side and looks for Jesse. He’s standing, bleary eyed, at the empty counter. A few women pass him by on their way outside. Neither party gives the other any mind. Skyler looks back to her husband and reconsiders asking. She hears the couple behind them start to argue and sighs.
After all, she really is very tired. It’s nearly eleven.
---------
It happens slowly. She wonders if it's purposeful. Like they think if they do this gradually enough she won't notice. She supposes she started it. Making them sleep in the same bed.
But then she couldn't have started it. There had to be something there before. Some dynamic she's never been privy to. She wonders if maybe this isn't the beginning she's witnessing. A heterosexual, married man doesn't develop feelings for some boy young enough to be his son out of the blue.
Although what does she know anymore.
They've been on the road for weeks when she wakes, looks over at the other bed to see only Walt's sleeping face. She levers herself out of bed, headed for the weak spray of another strange shower, assuming the kid went out for another cigarette but she can see him now. He's pressed up close enough to Walt's back that he'd been completely obscured by him from the other side. She doesn't think much of it at the time. Even the way one of Jesse's hands is fisted in the back of her husband's shirt. She just goes in to shower. And when she comes out they've separated.
It becomes a more frequent thing. When she's the one to wake up first anyway. It seems to cycle through all three of them, taking turns. Like they've got assigned days. But on her days they'll be pressed close together. Sometimes it looks accidental. Like either one could've rolled over in their sleep and just gotten stuck. But then there's days like today when Walt's got the kid pulled to him, arm around him. Jesse's head on his chest. And maybe she should feel some sort of annoyance. Or betrayal.
Really the only thing she feels is curiosity.
------
She wakes up in the dark this time. To the sound of whispered arguments.
"Will you stop?" It's Jesse.
Walt responds with a rustling of sheets.
"Mr. White. Hey. Hey! Stop. Mr. White. Mr. White." A beat. "Mr. White!"
"What!" Her husband hisses it. Never seems to be able to keep that frustration out of his tone completely when he's talking to Jesse. She thinks for the first time she understands why.
"I said stop. Or maybe that doesn't matter to you." He sounds bitter and the tone seems to triple the weight of the air around them. It's silent for a moment.
"Jesse. Jesse. Of course it does. I just...got excited." Bed creaks, body moves away. "Of course it matters." Walt reassures. It's so important to him. Reassurance. Desperate for people to believe him. "What do you want Jesse?" There's a weight in his tone. Death sentence.
"Jesus. Don't be so dramatic, Mr. White." Jesse's tone is softer, bitterness gone but tired. "Just 'cause I don't want it right now...I'm like...I still like the idea." The potential argument has been avoided for now. Good mood on both sides allowing them to ignore shortcomings.
"Yeah?" Her eyes have adjusted to the dark and she can make out Jesse on his back, Walt leaning up on one elbow over him. "Like the idea. How much?"
An honest to god little happy giggle comes out of Jesse and even if she had been angry that would've killed it. "A lot.
"A lot?" Walt says.
"Yeah. A lot."
The ridiculousness of the situation....if she were to describe this to someone on the outside of it... Jesus. Her meth cook husband is sharing a bed with his partner, a former junkie, who's male, half his age and a former student and she's secretly listening to them flirt in the dark. Jesus.
"Jesus." It comes out of Walt's mouth then like she'd summoned it. "We could go in the bathroom." Walt suggests. There's a little edge to his voice that she recognizes as strained arousal. She hears the bed creak again, someone leaning forward and she can hear the wet sounds of mouth on skin. It isn't Jesse's mouth because she can hear his next words unhindered.
"Mr. White, you gotta stop. This is too weird...with you wife here." The last few words are even quieter but she catches them. That's as good an opening as any.
"I'm certainly not stopping you." She says, full volume.