Fic: "If I Didn't Care" 3/?
About: AU. A sort of “worst case senario” situation. Story takes place after the fourth season wraps up as if Gus won the feud. The kids end up with Hank and Marie and Walt, Skyler and Jesse leave town, on the run from Gus. Spoilers through season 4, to be safe.
Rating: eventual nc-17
Pairing: Walt/Jesse, Walt/Skyler/Jesse
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit, just for fun.
3/?
By the time he finds the ice machine, he has to use the wall to support himself. He sinks to the dirty indoor/outdoor carpeting and starts sobbing into his arm. He’s not even really thinking. It’s just an uncontrollable bodily function at this point. He keeps seeing his kids’ faces. And Skyler’s face contorted in rage as she slaps Jesse. He’s never seen his wife hit any living creature in her life. And the dark circles under Jesse’s eyes. His entire life is uncertain in a way he’s never experienced. Even when he was dying, at least all of the other constants stayed the same. Now, he doesn’t have his house. Any of his clothes or possessions. His children, his family, his job, certainty of income. He’s in an unfamiliar place with two familiar people that absolutely hate him. Everything might catch up with them tomorrow and they could be murdered by God only knows. Or they could live out the rest of their lives hating everything. He doesn’t know.
He knows that he’s never cried like this in his life.
He takes a minute to suck in a few calming breaths. His cheeks are wet, eyes burning. He looks like shit, probably. He stands, opens up the ice machine and dumps a few half-hearted scoops into the bucket. He almost drops it when Skyler comes rounding the corner, face to face with him. She scans his face but doesn’t say anything about the state of it. “Everything ok?” Walt asks.
“Yes. Just ready to go to bed. Where’s the other room? I’m taking that one.”
Walt swallows, “Sky, I thought it was best...if we sticked together here. We’re trying to keep a low profile. We’re a family on vacation.” He nervously shifts the ice bucket from his left arm to his right.
Skyler looks as if she’s too exhausted to care about literally anything at the moment so she sighs and says. “Fine. Yes, whatever. I’m not sleeping in the same bed with you, though.”
Walt doesn’t even consider arguing with any demand she might make, just nods and follows her back to the room. He sets the ice bucket down on the dresser when they’re inside. He eyes the beds as Skyler sinks down onto the empty one and it dawns on him what this means.
Jesse is already asleep, conked out in his clothes and shoes and curled up in a ball. He feels sick when he looks at Jesse. He feels like he wants to shake him awake and tell him to go sleep in the car. He feels like sleeping in the car himself. He rubs his eyes and lets out an involuntary noise of frustration.
“What?” She looks over at him, taking off her watch and setting on the bedside table. He looks from Jesse to her warily. She catches on and lets out a laugh of disbelief. “No.”
“Skyler-”
“Don’t even. Walt. Don’t. Go rent another room if you’re so upset. Aren’t you guys buddies or something?” She’s wrenching off her shoes. Walt gives her one last look that she ignores, shrugs out of his jacket and walks over to ease himself down onto the bed by Jesse’s sleeping form. He slowly removes his shoes, watch, belt and glasses half-waiting for Skyler to roll back over and tell him to get in next to her. She doesn’t. So he swings his feet up and slides under the comforter. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Skyler’s head swivel in his direction. He looks over at her but her gaze is pointed at Jesse. “He’s not...I didn’t leave any marks, did I?” She sounded nervous.
Walt looked over at Jesse's sleeping face. Irritation flared up as he eyed the swollen bump. Jesse's bottom lip was red, scabbed over. Shredded a little where it must've been jaggedly wrenched across his teeth. The irritation became sharper when he realized what that bump really meant. It meant she had been thinking this whole time that Walt was just along for the ride in this whole thing, the cooking. After all of it, she still thought that he was…somebody's employee. A thought occurred to him. "He's got a pretty ugly fat lip." Her frown deepened. "That's not what I'm really concerned about though." He said, going silent for a moment and waiting.
"What are you concerned about?" She said, annoyed frown becoming an all out worried grimace.
"He hit the car pretty hard." He said.
Skyler ran a hand across her face and finally looked Walt in the eye. "I can't believe I did that." She said, blinking back tears. "Do you think he's ok? He's so…he's smaller than I remember him being."
"I have no idea." Walt said back, being as unhelpful as possible.
"Walt, you have no reason to be the asshole here. Can you-"
"Asshole? What exactly do you want me to do? Wake him up?" he hissed.
"I know. No. Of course not. I just won't be able to sleep if I don't know if I hurt this kid."
"Oh, now he's 'this kid'. Before he was some junkie asshole-"
"Shut up, Walt! I-"
"Shhhhh!" Walt hissed.
“I think I deserve a little piece of mind, don’t you?” She was nearly pleading with him.
“Who have you turned into? For Christ sake. I’m seriously asking you here, Skyler. What is it you would like me to do? Start divesting clothes from my unconscious partner so I can check him for injuries that my wife caused so she can sleep better?” Walt gestured a little too wildly and felt Jesse stir next to him. “Great.”
“Mmmah.” Jesse rolled over, squinting and started when he realized Walt was so close. “What the hell?”
“I’ll be sleeping here.” Walt said as way of explanation.
Jesse just looked at him for a moment and then over to Skyler and back to Walt. Recognition dawned in his face and he nodded. "Oh." He said.
"Let's just...all just go to sleep." Walt said, flicking the light off.
"Fine." Skyler said, rolling over with her back to both of them.
Rating: eventual nc-17
Pairing: Walt/Jesse, Walt/Skyler/Jesse
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit, just for fun.
3/?
By the time he finds the ice machine, he has to use the wall to support himself. He sinks to the dirty indoor/outdoor carpeting and starts sobbing into his arm. He’s not even really thinking. It’s just an uncontrollable bodily function at this point. He keeps seeing his kids’ faces. And Skyler’s face contorted in rage as she slaps Jesse. He’s never seen his wife hit any living creature in her life. And the dark circles under Jesse’s eyes. His entire life is uncertain in a way he’s never experienced. Even when he was dying, at least all of the other constants stayed the same. Now, he doesn’t have his house. Any of his clothes or possessions. His children, his family, his job, certainty of income. He’s in an unfamiliar place with two familiar people that absolutely hate him. Everything might catch up with them tomorrow and they could be murdered by God only knows. Or they could live out the rest of their lives hating everything. He doesn’t know.
He knows that he’s never cried like this in his life.
He takes a minute to suck in a few calming breaths. His cheeks are wet, eyes burning. He looks like shit, probably. He stands, opens up the ice machine and dumps a few half-hearted scoops into the bucket. He almost drops it when Skyler comes rounding the corner, face to face with him. She scans his face but doesn’t say anything about the state of it. “Everything ok?” Walt asks.
“Yes. Just ready to go to bed. Where’s the other room? I’m taking that one.”
Walt swallows, “Sky, I thought it was best...if we sticked together here. We’re trying to keep a low profile. We’re a family on vacation.” He nervously shifts the ice bucket from his left arm to his right.
Skyler looks as if she’s too exhausted to care about literally anything at the moment so she sighs and says. “Fine. Yes, whatever. I’m not sleeping in the same bed with you, though.”
Walt doesn’t even consider arguing with any demand she might make, just nods and follows her back to the room. He sets the ice bucket down on the dresser when they’re inside. He eyes the beds as Skyler sinks down onto the empty one and it dawns on him what this means.
Jesse is already asleep, conked out in his clothes and shoes and curled up in a ball. He feels sick when he looks at Jesse. He feels like he wants to shake him awake and tell him to go sleep in the car. He feels like sleeping in the car himself. He rubs his eyes and lets out an involuntary noise of frustration.
“What?” She looks over at him, taking off her watch and setting on the bedside table. He looks from Jesse to her warily. She catches on and lets out a laugh of disbelief. “No.”
“Skyler-”
“Don’t even. Walt. Don’t. Go rent another room if you’re so upset. Aren’t you guys buddies or something?” She’s wrenching off her shoes. Walt gives her one last look that she ignores, shrugs out of his jacket and walks over to ease himself down onto the bed by Jesse’s sleeping form. He slowly removes his shoes, watch, belt and glasses half-waiting for Skyler to roll back over and tell him to get in next to her. She doesn’t. So he swings his feet up and slides under the comforter. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Skyler’s head swivel in his direction. He looks over at her but her gaze is pointed at Jesse. “He’s not...I didn’t leave any marks, did I?” She sounded nervous.
Walt looked over at Jesse's sleeping face. Irritation flared up as he eyed the swollen bump. Jesse's bottom lip was red, scabbed over. Shredded a little where it must've been jaggedly wrenched across his teeth. The irritation became sharper when he realized what that bump really meant. It meant she had been thinking this whole time that Walt was just along for the ride in this whole thing, the cooking. After all of it, she still thought that he was…somebody's employee. A thought occurred to him. "He's got a pretty ugly fat lip." Her frown deepened. "That's not what I'm really concerned about though." He said, going silent for a moment and waiting.
"What are you concerned about?" She said, annoyed frown becoming an all out worried grimace.
"He hit the car pretty hard." He said.
Skyler ran a hand across her face and finally looked Walt in the eye. "I can't believe I did that." She said, blinking back tears. "Do you think he's ok? He's so…he's smaller than I remember him being."
"I have no idea." Walt said back, being as unhelpful as possible.
"Walt, you have no reason to be the asshole here. Can you-"
"Asshole? What exactly do you want me to do? Wake him up?" he hissed.
"I know. No. Of course not. I just won't be able to sleep if I don't know if I hurt this kid."
"Oh, now he's 'this kid'. Before he was some junkie asshole-"
"Shut up, Walt! I-"
"Shhhhh!" Walt hissed.
“I think I deserve a little piece of mind, don’t you?” She was nearly pleading with him.
“Who have you turned into? For Christ sake. I’m seriously asking you here, Skyler. What is it you would like me to do? Start divesting clothes from my unconscious partner so I can check him for injuries that my wife caused so she can sleep better?” Walt gestured a little too wildly and felt Jesse stir next to him. “Great.”
“Mmmah.” Jesse rolled over, squinting and started when he realized Walt was so close. “What the hell?”
“I’ll be sleeping here.” Walt said as way of explanation.
Jesse just looked at him for a moment and then over to Skyler and back to Walt. Recognition dawned in his face and he nodded. "Oh." He said.
"Let's just...all just go to sleep." Walt said, flicking the light off.
"Fine." Skyler said, rolling over with her back to both of them.