fic "If I Didn't Care"
Title: If I Didn’t Care 1/?
About: AU. A sort of “worst case senario” situation. Story takes place after the fourth season wraps up as if Gus won the feud. The kids end up with Hank and Marie and Walt, Skyler and Jesse leave town, on the run from Gus.
Rating: eventual nc-17
Pairing: Walt/Jesse, Walt/Skyler/Jesse
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit, just for fun.
The car was silent for a long time. Walt was in the drivers seat of the silver rental Mike had gotten them. Skyler sat next to him in the passenger’s seat, almost catatonic. She’d been quiet for the last few hours, finally having stopped crying. Jesse sat in the back, uncomfortable and staring straight out of the windshield. Walt broke the silence finally, clearing his throat. “Um...we should probably stop soon. Find a rest stop...or a motel.” He ventured tentatively. The last time he’d opened his mouth Skyler had burst into tears again. And he’d simply asked if anyone had been hungry. “How’s that sound?” He looked over at Skyler who said nothing then back to Jesse in the rearview who just swallowed and nodded. He glanced back at Skyler who finally said fine without turning to look at him. “Alright then.”
He’d been wracking his brain for hours, trying to find some way to make this horrible car ride even slightly more pleasant. Or less unpleasant, as the case may be. But he’d finally given up, satisfied that at least he could count himself lucky there was no more sobbing or yelling.
That being said he was starting to become frustrated. The silence and the crying and the yelling and the driving and the weight of the last few days was beginning have effects. The chief perpetrator of his current emotional state was his own blinding rage at himself. He had done what he’d feared. He had ruined not only his life, but that of his wife, his children, his family and Jesse. He looked in the rear view again, Jesse was staring out the window. Walt noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the perpetual bend of his eyebrows. He looked awful.
Thankfully, twenty minutes later they pulled into a off the highway little town. Village was probably a better word for it. It was simply one main street with four or five side streets. The one they were after was 1st street. On which was a gas station, a Happy Chef and a motel called “The Grand Inn”. Walt pulled into the gas station first.
As soon as the tires came to a halt, Skyler was out of the car and storming inside the gas station. Jesse got out more slowly, on Walt’s side and leaned awkwardly against the car. Walt followed suit and surveyed the area.
“So...what’re we gonna do?” Jesse said, turning his eyes wide and questioning to Walt.
Walt turned to him and was surprised how young Jesse looked. He looked scared shitless. “We just keep driving for now.” He said hurriedly. He didn’t want to have this conversation right now. Not ever really. But he knew these questions had to be addressed at some point.
“Yeah but...for how long?” Jesse said.
“I don’t know, Jesse.” Walt snapped.
Jesse put his hands up in a placating gesture. “Yo, sorry.” Was all he said, looking down at his feet and rubbing his tennis shoe against the hubcap.
Walt sighed, took of his glasses and rubbed his face. “It’s fine. I just don’t know. I guess we just... find a place we like and just...” He trailed off, gesturing vaguely.
“And what? Just like...” Jesse shrugged and looked out toward the highway briefly and then back to Walt. “Like...live there forever?” He finished, disbelieving.
Walt nodded. “What did you think was going to happen.”
Jesse stayed silent.