I do this thing
Sometimes I do this thing, and I hate it that I do it, but I do. Something, anything could happen, or not happen and instead of asking a polite question or gentily suggesting that there might be a better way to do something I act all condescending. Like I bait BP into having to admit that he screwed up, when the reality is that he didn't screw up at all, he just did what seemed perfectly logical.
Example:
We're cleaning up the kitchen and instead of letting him clean his own way I say something like "What are you doing?"
Which is so non-specific that he of course replies with something like "Huh?" or "What do you mean?"
Which allows me to say something horrible like "This scrubbing, the water temperature is all wrong and you should be going in sweeping movements not corcular motions."
And the reality is it doesn't freeking matter at all that he makes tuna differently or that he drains his pasta differently (Though I will say it was kinda sad but also kinda funny when he dropped all the spagetti in the sink one time). So starting today I'm going to have more patience. I'm going to be less uptight and I'm going to be more accomidating.
I also just realized that when we're at his place (though infrequently) I don't try to exhert the same amount of control over the things that he does. Maybe the trick is when a place is his or ours it'll be easier to let go of that need to have everything my way. I don't want to discount my pledge to be less psychotic. But I also hope that I can be an even better partner as our lives continue to more forward.
*****
On an exciting note, we went ring shopping yesterday. We went to a couple of different types of places Nordstrom, Shaws (the dichotomy of which is freeking amusing), Bailey Banks & Biddle and just when our heads were swimming and we were no closer to making a decision than we were before we saw Helzberg. Now I have a neclace, bracelet and earings from Helzberg, and I love the store but I didn't want to be swayed by that but even though we were exhausted we went in just to see if we saw anything worth trying on. So I walk in and describe what I like center diamond shape is irrelevent, I like channel set princess cut side diamonds and I would love sapphires on the ring. And he goes over to another case and brings it back and BAM that's it it's this beautiful, perfect ring. The center diamond could be a little larger (.25 greater at a max) and a little higher quality but the setting was perfect... like I couldn't have designed something better myself.
Example:
We're cleaning up the kitchen and instead of letting him clean his own way I say something like "What are you doing?"
Which is so non-specific that he of course replies with something like "Huh?" or "What do you mean?"
Which allows me to say something horrible like "This scrubbing, the water temperature is all wrong and you should be going in sweeping movements not corcular motions."
And the reality is it doesn't freeking matter at all that he makes tuna differently or that he drains his pasta differently (Though I will say it was kinda sad but also kinda funny when he dropped all the spagetti in the sink one time). So starting today I'm going to have more patience. I'm going to be less uptight and I'm going to be more accomidating.
I also just realized that when we're at his place (though infrequently) I don't try to exhert the same amount of control over the things that he does. Maybe the trick is when a place is his or ours it'll be easier to let go of that need to have everything my way. I don't want to discount my pledge to be less psychotic. But I also hope that I can be an even better partner as our lives continue to more forward.
*****
On an exciting note, we went ring shopping yesterday. We went to a couple of different types of places Nordstrom, Shaws (the dichotomy of which is freeking amusing), Bailey Banks & Biddle and just when our heads were swimming and we were no closer to making a decision than we were before we saw Helzberg. Now I have a neclace, bracelet and earings from Helzberg, and I love the store but I didn't want to be swayed by that but even though we were exhausted we went in just to see if we saw anything worth trying on. So I walk in and describe what I like center diamond shape is irrelevent, I like channel set princess cut side diamonds and I would love sapphires on the ring. And he goes over to another case and brings it back and BAM that's it it's this beautiful, perfect ring. The center diamond could be a little larger (.25 greater at a max) and a little higher quality but the setting was perfect... like I couldn't have designed something better myself.