(no subject)
I feel like shit. I'm not getting enough sleep supposedly, although I stay awake the drive to and from work. I evidently lost 2 inches in my waist, as I HAVE to wear a belt now or my pants will fall down. I eat just as much as I did before...I dunno what's going on.
Krys evidently doesn't want to talk to me. I don't know what I did wrong now, but I'll deal. Not like I'm a good conversationalist, anyway. NO ONE talks to me...not even my own best friend.
As for my quest for self...I am well on the way to believing I'll always screw up with anyone I meet. My track record is pretty bad, and even when I'm trying to be romantic I piss the person off. No one as bad as Krys...but that is in the past...she all but hates having anything to do with me evidently anyway. I'd guess that would mean I wouldn't have a chance with her even if I was the last man on earth. I wish I could have done things right with her. The one thing I wanted from her was trust, and I couldn't get it. I guess my main problem is I try so hard every time to get what seems most important that I lose sight of the relationship itself. I could have done so many things differently...but I screwed up as usual.
Now, I face my greatest fear with a lack of ration, as well as a lack of friends to aid me. Though I know I have people that care about me, they cannot go with me. And most would not be willing to anyway. Magic is foreign to them, much less the powerful magics at work in this.
Krys evidently doesn't want to talk to me. I don't know what I did wrong now, but I'll deal. Not like I'm a good conversationalist, anyway. NO ONE talks to me...not even my own best friend.
As for my quest for self...I am well on the way to believing I'll always screw up with anyone I meet. My track record is pretty bad, and even when I'm trying to be romantic I piss the person off. No one as bad as Krys...but that is in the past...she all but hates having anything to do with me evidently anyway. I'd guess that would mean I wouldn't have a chance with her even if I was the last man on earth. I wish I could have done things right with her. The one thing I wanted from her was trust, and I couldn't get it. I guess my main problem is I try so hard every time to get what seems most important that I lose sight of the relationship itself. I could have done so many things differently...but I screwed up as usual.
Now, I face my greatest fear with a lack of ration, as well as a lack of friends to aid me. Though I know I have people that care about me, they cannot go with me. And most would not be willing to anyway. Magic is foreign to them, much less the powerful magics at work in this.