Mmm...sleep....
Ok, so the guy that works third shift went on a trip with this gambling league, leaving yesterday morning. I covered his shift, leaving at 7:45 AM. It was ok, I got done early and started working on SoD. Talked to Dez briefly like I promised I would. My friends seem to be odder as I get older.
Anyway, I got an email from Steph sometime this morning, and we've been messaging back and forth since, talking about my side of "the situation." She keeps encouraging me to give it a chance, though I can still feel it falling apart. I thought I could move on, be just friends, and let her live her life with Lee. I guess I was wrong. As soon as we startwed talking about it, I felt those same emotions I've felt all along, since the beginning of May, at Chops' visitation, when she walked back into my life. If only it had been different...if only she'd come to me and was able to give me another chance...
I asked God for a sign once, then wasn't sure I had gotten it right and asked for a clearer sign. I can honestly say I could have misinterpretted it, but hearing mine and Steph's song at Walmart that very night just seemed to be a clear inclination. I don't understand what is happening, but I know how I feel...and I really think I would be willing to live a life without my own child if it meant loving her. Not necessarily being with her, but loving her regardless.
I am such an odd little creature... o.o
Anyway, I got an email from Steph sometime this morning, and we've been messaging back and forth since, talking about my side of "the situation." She keeps encouraging me to give it a chance, though I can still feel it falling apart. I thought I could move on, be just friends, and let her live her life with Lee. I guess I was wrong. As soon as we startwed talking about it, I felt those same emotions I've felt all along, since the beginning of May, at Chops' visitation, when she walked back into my life. If only it had been different...if only she'd come to me and was able to give me another chance...
I asked God for a sign once, then wasn't sure I had gotten it right and asked for a clearer sign. I can honestly say I could have misinterpretted it, but hearing mine and Steph's song at Walmart that very night just seemed to be a clear inclination. I don't understand what is happening, but I know how I feel...and I really think I would be willing to live a life without my own child if it meant loving her. Not necessarily being with her, but loving her regardless.
I am such an odd little creature... o.o