Speaking of homophobia
I went to hang out with some old high school friends last night - we were going to go hot tubbing. Two of the them I've kept in contact with since graduation because I think they're pretty cool guys. The last one, I was friends with for a year after high school. But he changed a lot in college, in ways that I didn't think were for the better. I've seen him maybe once a year since that first year, which I've honestly been fine with because he managed every time to make some giant asshole remark that really pissed me off. Well, I saw him for a few hours over winter break, and he was pretty good - no asshole comments, and he was looking like he was living a lot better and taking care of himself better - so when I got invited out last night with them, I thought, "What the hell, I'll go." Well, on the whole I guess I can say it was a decent time. There were the usual hot tub stand-by games of Ten Fingers and Truth or Dare. But being around him is uncomfortable for me because he makes really homophobic comments without realizing that they're homophobic. Like talking about how men giving each other head is weird, unnatural, and wrong. Like reacting violently when another of the guys (they're both straight) touches him. When I tried to confront him about it, his reaction was, "I'm not homophobic - I have tons of gay friends!" He lives in San Francisco, so he thinks that automatically disqualifies him for homophobia.
To be clear: Just because you don't kill queers on sight does not make you not homophobic. Just because you let gay people use your bathroom does NOT mean that you're an ally to the queer community.
If I know that I struggle with my own homophobia, you should realize that you have issues with it as well. (I realize that's not how it works, but that's what I want.) I'm ridiculously/ fucking/ hella - take your choice of adjective - active in ending homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, and sex negativity on my campus. I spend a lot of time and energy working to break down the ideas that you're taking for granted as "normal" because they are hurtful. And I would appreciate it if the "friends" who were standing by would realize that I have a valid point in calling out homophobia, and not just act like I'm the crazy one who is way too "PC" and takes too much offense at things. I take offense when it hurts me. It wouldn't kill you to realize it, assholes.
To be clear: Just because you don't kill queers on sight does not make you not homophobic. Just because you let gay people use your bathroom does NOT mean that you're an ally to the queer community.
If I know that I struggle with my own homophobia, you should realize that you have issues with it as well. (I realize that's not how it works, but that's what I want.) I'm ridiculously/ fucking/ hella - take your choice of adjective - active in ending homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, and sex negativity on my campus. I spend a lot of time and energy working to break down the ideas that you're taking for granted as "normal" because they are hurtful. And I would appreciate it if the "friends" who were standing by would realize that I have a valid point in calling out homophobia, and not just act like I'm the crazy one who is way too "PC" and takes too much offense at things. I take offense when it hurts me. It wouldn't kill you to realize it, assholes.