(no subject)
Whatever, I'm changing this fucker so I don't swallow the blue.
Clare, thank you for reflection and semi-healthy distraction time.
what made me proud of myself in 2004: I endured the worst physical and emotional pain I've ever felt.
what made me ashamed of myself in 2004: I cut myself off from people and let people affect my moods too much.
best times of 2004: watching my kids perform in the spring play, sexual experiences, emotional experiences, being with Montana, Ivy and Broderick, being with Jay, performing, after performances with beautiful Montana and Ivy, making sexual art, babysitting Zoe, Feb. Formal, Big Sur, Driver's Ed., Halloween, meeting Ahren and Anya in Yelapa, Yelapa, New Years.
worst times: breaking my elbow in Big Sur, the constant thoughts of morphine, popping N.S., friends and lovers fucking me over, Broderick's father's death, passing out backstage, losing touch with my generation of friends, addiction.
in the end i am: bitter, stronger, more curious, more aware, wiser, more worldly, more rebellious, more interested, more lost and left behind, more unsure
song lyrics: "they take a polaroid and let you go..."
"you changed my heart and made a spade"
"you might say it's self inflicted...why on earth would anyone practice
self-destruction"
"i don't like the drugs but the drugs like me"
"you and your cronies"
"i want to fuck you like an animal"
"keep it goth"
Clare, thank you for reflection and semi-healthy distraction time.
what made me proud of myself in 2004: I endured the worst physical and emotional pain I've ever felt.
what made me ashamed of myself in 2004: I cut myself off from people and let people affect my moods too much.
best times of 2004: watching my kids perform in the spring play, sexual experiences, emotional experiences, being with Montana, Ivy and Broderick, being with Jay, performing, after performances with beautiful Montana and Ivy, making sexual art, babysitting Zoe, Feb. Formal, Big Sur, Driver's Ed., Halloween, meeting Ahren and Anya in Yelapa, Yelapa, New Years.
worst times: breaking my elbow in Big Sur, the constant thoughts of morphine, popping N.S., friends and lovers fucking me over, Broderick's father's death, passing out backstage, losing touch with my generation of friends, addiction.
in the end i am: bitter, stronger, more curious, more aware, wiser, more worldly, more rebellious, more interested, more lost and left behind, more unsure
song lyrics: "they take a polaroid and let you go..."
"you changed my heart and made a spade"
"you might say it's self inflicted...why on earth would anyone practice
self-destruction"
"i don't like the drugs but the drugs like me"
"you and your cronies"
"i want to fuck you like an animal"
"keep it goth"