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so right now im looking at colleges in NC. Its so beautiful up here and its been snowing today so im ecsataic about that. 2 bad not even the snow is cheering me up that much. im not as upset about last night as i was yesterday. but im still upset and hurt and confused. its just the fact that im not sure who or what to believe in or trust anymore. i also know i need to forgive but its just hard and its almost like i dont want to. i mean i want 2 bc i still care about these people a lot but its one of those times where i cnt help but be mad. they have appoligized and i know they feel bad but i cnt find much sympathy for them. i feel horrible that im acting like this but at the same time im thinking that they dont deserve it. they made the bad decisions and they have to live with it, even if they regret it. it doesnt matter they still did it and it still hurts. i just really dont understand y they did it and i want 2 know if this is how they r gonna act every time i leave. they say its not but im just not sure especially bc they said this would never happen to begin with. they kinda lost some of my trust and its gonna take a lil while to get that trust back. i just really hope that my fears do not become a reality. cause it will really suck if that happens. i dont think i will deal with those fears coming true all that well. o well only time will tell...i just really really hope i am wrong.