trīspadsmit

[bawlingforsoup]

[Filtered from Saya

U-Um... I-I was wondering, w-what do you do o-on a date? I-Is first date, I-I mean. S-Should I bring f-flowers? W-What kind? A-And um... A-Am wondering w-what else I should know s-so I don't m-mess up b-because I really like this girl and I-I don't like m-making her sad.

Comments

[ladysawsaw]

[Hey, runt. You know who is the best person to ask about romance?

Yeah, not mamapapa. Definitely not mamapapa.]

Well, first you got to get her real drunk. [CREEPER FOREVER]

[bawlingforsoup]

I-I'm not g-getting her drunk--!

[SO CREEPY MAMAKO--]

[ladysawsaw]

Shit, what? You wanna make this harder on yourself, or somethin'? I seen you, you know well enough! Women get more agreeable when drunk, you know?

[SOMETHING MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE? NO, NEVER.]

[bawlingforsoup]

S-She's i-important to me a-and---

...A-Are you c-calling me a g-girl?

[AT LEAST HE'S GROWING A BACKBONE.]

[ladysawsaw]

Straight-up. I'm more of a man and a woman than you'll ever be, runt.

[bawlingforsoup]

W-Will see a-about that.

[ladysawsaw]

[Good. Keep standing up, Latvia. THIS IS HOW HE SHOWS HE CARES.]

So, you're gonna pussy out on the liquor, huh? Tch, fine. Whatever.

Bet you the pharmacy has some shit that'll knock her out or something, you know? You'll be able to get a couple good feels in.

[bawlingforsoup]

N-No. I-I said s-she's important t-to me. I-I just want her to be h-happy.

I-I'm not g-going to be a j-jerk and h-hurt her feelings.

[ladysawsaw]

[Pay attention, Raivis. You see that? Girliko's expression softens, if just for a moment.]

...Tch. One of those, huh? Hnn.

[AHEM. He clears his throat, returning back to normal.]

Ain't this the same chick that like, sent off a shitton of fliers askin' men to lay the bone into her or whatever? Not my type, but shit, it ain't like you couldn't.

[bawlingforsoup]

A-As long as she's h-happy...

[He pauses as he takes this all in. He never heard of that, but eventually, he decides that he doesn't care--Just as long as she was happy, then it's fine. Right? Maybe it was common where she was from--he didn't know.]

...I-I didn't hear o-of that o-or remember s-seeing any of t-those fliers. I-It was probably b-before we met, a-anyways. A-Am not one t-to judge. A-And i-is something I d-don't care a-about. A-Am not like you.

[ladysawsaw]

Never said anythin' about carin'. Just sayin' she'd probably be pretty easy if you wanted.

--Besides, t' answer your question, women don't give a shit about what you get 'em as long as it's all simple and pretty. You know, like they are, right? Tch. Whatever.

You really want to impress this chick? Ditch the flowers and chocolates or whatever. Get her somethin' that she's actually care about, you know? Somethin' that's actually for her. It ain't that hard.

[OH SNAP GOOD ADVICE WHERE DID THIS EVEN COME FROM]

[bawlingforsoup]

I-I...

[ATLANTIS? Have some confused staring. Whoa. What. He doesn't even-- SHOULD HE FOLLOW THIS HE DOESN'T EVEN--]

...M-Mister Giriko, I... A-Are you... I-Is... [brb mental BSOD.]

[ladysawsaw]

[800 years of experience and 30 generations, is where it comes from. Dude knows some stuff, he just. Never uses it himself sob.]

Runt, if you go and ask me what any of that would be I'm gonna clock you, yeah? Because you're th' one all gettin' boners over this chick, not me. I don't know nothin' but th' fact that she likes small, vaguely useful things.

[bawlingforsoup]

[womanizerwomanizerwomanizer--]

I-I am not!

S-Small useful t-things...

[ladysawsaw]

[boy don't try to front, i-i know just what you are-are]

Vaguely. Between you an' the golem, you two even out.

So, if you ain't gonna give it to her naturally, what do you got in mind for a replacement, hnn?

1/2

[bawlingforsoup]

Replacement?

[Wait. Waiiiit.]

The golem...