*hugs Journal*
*hugs Journal*
Heyya. Went out yesterday for the second Friday night running, which was weird - but enjoyable. Aimee's sworn to get me to come out every Friday night she's not working, which as I said won't be very many then. Nah, it's alright. So long as I don't have work to do it's fine by me.
Speaking of, I finally got my fat behind into Wheldon to discuss my essay. I did it okay and got it submitted in time, but I was really worried about my having failed to sign that coversheet. I swear last year that ws enough for your essay not to have been considered submitted... this year however it seems I'm in luck. I turned up all worried and they were like... 'Nah don't worry about it. We'll just assume you wanted it submitted anonymously.' Greatest feeling in the world walking away from that. It was just like.. 'I'm finally free - yay!' Now I've just to write an email to my tutor explaining that I bothered her for nothing... :$
I've been feeling pretty okay recently anyway. I'm mean, I've got a cold developing and have a runny nose and am constantly thirsty, as Syrai so kindly pointed out in chat the other day - and the weather is once again trying to murder the whole of Bangor by irregular attempts at drowning, (trust me unless you've been here around November you don't know what I'm talking about), but I feel really positive. I think my p.'s due fairly soon, but I haven't been experiencing too many symptoms *touch wood*, partly because the stress with my housemates has eased up and partly because I'm eating better and I think that Primrose oil helps too, thanks Aussie. So yeah... I'm good..
It's weird actually, because before my return to Bangor I'd felt pretty positive too - then I got pushed into depression by PMT... I can't even begin to describe how much that hurt and scared me. How, oddly enough, betrayed I felt by it. I mean, I've always battled depression, but it's always been external factors causing it. Something outside myself... It may have been me against the world, but it was me against the world, all of me... Then - and this a weird way of putting it, I know - all of a sudden my body defected and joined the other side and it was me against me. It was like my body said, "I'm sick and tired of it always being the mind that makes us sick and depressed - I wanna go.." and it was just so scary, particularly because it was so completely beyond my control.. and yet it was my own body doing it. At least the next month it was merely an excessive bad temper, which I couldn't control any more than my depression - but which at least wasn't depression. I don't think I could've handled two months of it... We'll have to see how this month goes...
I'm sorry I didn't mean to talk about PMT again. I did that enough in the last entry. Its just so fucking scary, you know? I got that email to the guy who sent me my second Clone Wars DVD over Amazon done to. It's scratched and I can't play it, so I've had to ask for my money back... which is a real shame... I really wanted that...
Other than that, my parents seemed pretty depressed when I rang them today... Michael's been made redundant and it's hit him pretty hard. It also means my family have no income anymore, which is rather worrying... They're talking about setting up this business - well I say talking - they effectively have. They've registered it. And that, from what I remember of my business studies class, means they're going to end up with all sorts of weird taxation and stuff... but as far as I can see they've done nothing on the actual 'business' side of things... which worries me and i find idiotic, but there you go..
This is such a depressing entry... which is odd, because as I said I'm feeling really positive myself and happy for once. I just hope it lasts. (It really, really won't now I've said that, but you know...) I've been doing this study that montiors our mood and makes us score it (-5=really depressed, +5=exstatic) and right ow I describe myself as a 2 or a 3. Pretty positive, so don't ask me about this entry.. Anyway, I really need a drink and some food and my Primrose tablet, so I'll see you soon I hope Journally...
B-Bye,
*love and hugs*
BigSister
Heyya. Went out yesterday for the second Friday night running, which was weird - but enjoyable. Aimee's sworn to get me to come out every Friday night she's not working, which as I said won't be very many then. Nah, it's alright. So long as I don't have work to do it's fine by me.
Speaking of, I finally got my fat behind into Wheldon to discuss my essay. I did it okay and got it submitted in time, but I was really worried about my having failed to sign that coversheet. I swear last year that ws enough for your essay not to have been considered submitted... this year however it seems I'm in luck. I turned up all worried and they were like... 'Nah don't worry about it. We'll just assume you wanted it submitted anonymously.' Greatest feeling in the world walking away from that. It was just like.. 'I'm finally free - yay!' Now I've just to write an email to my tutor explaining that I bothered her for nothing... :$
I've been feeling pretty okay recently anyway. I'm mean, I've got a cold developing and have a runny nose and am constantly thirsty, as Syrai so kindly pointed out in chat the other day - and the weather is once again trying to murder the whole of Bangor by irregular attempts at drowning, (trust me unless you've been here around November you don't know what I'm talking about), but I feel really positive. I think my p.'s due fairly soon, but I haven't been experiencing too many symptoms *touch wood*, partly because the stress with my housemates has eased up and partly because I'm eating better and I think that Primrose oil helps too, thanks Aussie. So yeah... I'm good..
It's weird actually, because before my return to Bangor I'd felt pretty positive too - then I got pushed into depression by PMT... I can't even begin to describe how much that hurt and scared me. How, oddly enough, betrayed I felt by it. I mean, I've always battled depression, but it's always been external factors causing it. Something outside myself... It may have been me against the world, but it was me against the world, all of me... Then - and this a weird way of putting it, I know - all of a sudden my body defected and joined the other side and it was me against me. It was like my body said, "I'm sick and tired of it always being the mind that makes us sick and depressed - I wanna go.." and it was just so scary, particularly because it was so completely beyond my control.. and yet it was my own body doing it. At least the next month it was merely an excessive bad temper, which I couldn't control any more than my depression - but which at least wasn't depression. I don't think I could've handled two months of it... We'll have to see how this month goes...
I'm sorry I didn't mean to talk about PMT again. I did that enough in the last entry. Its just so fucking scary, you know? I got that email to the guy who sent me my second Clone Wars DVD over Amazon done to. It's scratched and I can't play it, so I've had to ask for my money back... which is a real shame... I really wanted that...
Other than that, my parents seemed pretty depressed when I rang them today... Michael's been made redundant and it's hit him pretty hard. It also means my family have no income anymore, which is rather worrying... They're talking about setting up this business - well I say talking - they effectively have. They've registered it. And that, from what I remember of my business studies class, means they're going to end up with all sorts of weird taxation and stuff... but as far as I can see they've done nothing on the actual 'business' side of things... which worries me and i find idiotic, but there you go..
This is such a depressing entry... which is odd, because as I said I'm feeling really positive myself and happy for once. I just hope it lasts. (It really, really won't now I've said that, but you know...) I've been doing this study that montiors our mood and makes us score it (-5=really depressed, +5=exstatic) and right ow I describe myself as a 2 or a 3. Pretty positive, so don't ask me about this entry.. Anyway, I really need a drink and some food and my Primrose tablet, so I'll see you soon I hope Journally...
B-Bye,
*love and hugs*
BigSister