Les temps sont durs pour les rêveurs.

[battlepunk]

Ugh, I always knew I had an irrational phone phobia, but today was the closest I've ever come to actually getting hysterical about it. e_e Social anxiety is dumb, u gaiz. Moving on

Comments

[carveyfan27]

It took me two tries to understand what you meant by "Jocky Guys." I thought, for a moment, competitive horse racers were somehow desirable.

But seriously, people are majorly attracted to two things: Themselves and Confidence. Ergo, people tend to flock to other individuals with similar thought patterns, interests and abilities, but who also have the capacity to be gregarious, approachable and open. It's the basis of friendships, thank you Mister Rogers.

During the teenage years, wherein people are just beginning to decide who they are and what they like, this rule is counter-productive. Instead of finding confident, outgoing people with shared interests, teens find confident, outgoing people, and forcibly tweak their own self-interests for the sake of being accepted.

This leads to three results: A) Laughably stereotypical cliques that seem ridiculous in hindsight B) Outsiders who didn't resort to such pettiness, most of whom develop misanthropic tendencies or social anxieties C) Every single college student abandoning this habit, spending their freshman year "finding themselves." Those that fail usually just join a fraternity/sorority and begin the process anew.

Norms are subjective. By willingly surrounding yourself with like-minded people, your distortion and perception of the world is skewed. Either towards or against your philosophy. Everything is either "I'm doing something right" or "I'm doing something wrong" instead of the much more accurate "I'm doing something." As long as you're surrounded by these like-minds, you are validated. When affected by dislike minds, the whole inadequate, immoral, outsider tendencies will surface.

When departing college, people are right back into that high school philosophy. I don't fit into this corporate machine; 'maybe I'm doing something wrong'. And maybe you are. Maybe you should wear a suit to a job interview. Maybe you shouldn't swear so much. Maybe you should get a haircut so you don't look like Jonah Hill trapped on an island for five months. These are all good ideas. Who you are on the outside does not necessarily reflect who you are on the inside.

But when you start questioning your morals, your beliefs and your interests, you have some problems. That's when you're selling your soul for a paycheck and a parking space. The status quo is the status quo because the status quo is the status quo. It's the mother of all tautologies that every generation says they're going to change, but nobody ever does. We all want to fit in, we all want acceptance, but we now have the privilege of technology to bridge this lifestyle gap. There are literally thousands of people in your immediate reach to validate you, if needs be.

People can be jerks because people are jerks who like being jerks. They like to exploit differences. Whether they were raised that way, conditioned that way, or they're just trolling. It's always a shock to the system to be bumped out of our cozy little dens and back into an objective standpoint; to realize that one's worldview is only one worldview, and is in direct competition with everybody else's. Don't change because you feel guilty. There are always people who will be on your side, sometimes their voices are just drowned out by antagonistic banshees.

[battlepunk]

I haven't run into any outright antagonism, and I think that might be part of the problem. I'm used to being comfortable, comparatively speaking -- I enjoy enough privilege that I don't necessarily feel like my right to exist or self-identify is being challenged on a daily basis. Locally speaking, these things don't often come up in conversation, and when they have, I've been lucky enough to be in the company of those who, if not completely understanding of my viewpoints, have been willing to learn, or at the very least, certainly haven't reacted hostilely.

It's just strange to be reminded, on occasion, that my perception of certain demographics are just plain inaccurate. I'm just so used to people being on the open-ended and relatively well-informed side of things that it genuinely takes me a second to re-orient to a mindset where that isn't the case when considering the wider world. I'm starting to feel like I've been spoiled, or sheltered in a way, which is weird because I'd just gotten used to feeling generally marginalized. I guess if I'm worried at all, it's at the prospect of having that role reversal reversed again, and not in the friendliest context, when I depart for the mysterious East (Coast).

But yeah, that's a really cool point you bring up about people not having to feel as isolated or alienated thanks to the Internet. Interesting contrast, too, in light of some folks blaming modern technology for the pervasion and intensity of the bullying going on in high schools these days. I got really fucked up over some of those news stories that finally filtered my way, and got in contact with some faculty members from my school about some cool new awareness programs, but got a response saying that basically bullying didn't seem to be a problem there. And I thought about it and realized that it hadn't been when I attended, at least not that I'd been aware of. Damn, I've lived in some really awesome places.