Drabble One: Endo
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A/N:
This is for you, kuro_akira.
^_^
Drabble One: Endo
"And one day, it is going to be clear.
That I had let go, with less a mess.
But for now, my pan is frying.
And I still cling to the handle,
Though pain sears in all its glory."
He lay there...
Just lay there - The muscles around his nape and shoulder blades stiffening, fine nose pressed into the sheets.
The expensive fabric softener he always snuck into the grocery cart - which smelled like lime and various other fruits from the citrus family - was usually quite comforting...
On the contrary, it now wanted to make him gag.
He had the urge to push off the bed, grab whichever coat - Dice's or his - off the chair beside the book-pile that used to be a desk.
Get away...
Because the tension in the room was making it smaller.
He wanted to take a long walk, catch the Porsche Boxter he knew was going to round the block.
Say 'hulloe' to the nice lady down the same street who - by that time, would be shoveling fallen leaves into her outdoor burner.
Stay there at the curb, inhaling the smoke and staring at the sky as the woman's long-lost cat pays her a surprise visit and then disappears again.
Endo lifted slightly from the sheets.
Really.
Scratch that.
The cat will stay for good.
He felt something inside him click, and everything was arranged.
Of course he wanted to.
But he couldn't.
Couldn't escape this.
Even if this was bullshit.
And you're allowing it to happen.
"Coward..." He muttered weakly, throwing a hand over the back of his head and clenching at the thick silvery locks over his nape.
Because he really was one if he couldn't let go.
You can't handle it.
You're scared the emptiness is gonna chew you up and spit you out unconscious.
But he had seen so much more pain in his life.
Had been through various ranks of hurt and come out dandy, save for a tainted conscience.
But had he ever dabbled with emotion? Sunk his legs into that alluring muck and gotten stuck so far in, it started to feel glorious and delicious?
No.
This was wrong.
He pressed his face into the sheets, forgetting his personal issue with the citrus fabric softener.
Remembering, instead, everything he should be forgetting.
The bedside clock announced away the seconds and he did nothing but listen to it tick.
Time didn't wait for anyone to get their bearings or sort themselves out.
And just like that, Endo felt that large presence venture into the room, sinking in and around him like an invisible embrace. And the warmth was there, ghosting over skin, making the hairs at the back of his neck prickle.
His lips parted for breath, brushing at the linen underneath.
And he shut his eyes, mentally strangling the dread, and the sick excitement that clenched and tangled around his insides.
This.
This can't happen between us.
He expelled his frustration with a colorful word hissed down at the sheets.
Waited.
The presence crept around, rolled over the clock and finally seemed to reach a destination.
Another tick, and then a cheerful ding came from the laptop to his right.
He knew who it was.
It was a bother he knew many things.
It was stupid he was walking to his death.
He's gonna try again.
Knowing his tenacity, that impulsive streak, the adorable awkwardness, he'll lure me closer.
And then he's gonna blow my defenses by making me feel like I'm slaying harmless kittens.
Endo thought, and tugged at the sheets, and finally concluded.
I'm going to stop him, and keep stopping him -
Because he shouldn't be hoping.
... And I shouldn't be wishing.
His teeth clenched and he lifted his head off the bed just as the Messenger Icon on his Macbook gave a pop, then another, and another.
And another.
His ash-green eyes narrowed.
The boy was typing.
Entering sentence after sentence.
Demanding.
No. His eyebrows pressed together.
Begging.
He was... desperately begging.
Endo's chest gave a tight squeeze, and he bowed as the pain gripped and gnawed.
He clung to the bedpost and slowly pulled himself up, slouching with a sideways stare at the glowing screen through messy spikes of gray.
Fine.
Keep trying.
I'll keep kicking you down with my steel-toe boots till your ass is broken and bleeding.
Till you won't want to get up.
"Till you hate me..." The sentence rolled off his tongue, languid, certain and just a bit sad.
Endo leaned in.
And his eyes chased across the screen, immediately settling on the pale, beautiful face with the lingering smirk and the deep, penetrating stare.
...
He tore his gaze away from that face and focused on reading the broken PMs.
Obviously, the boy would charm him.
And obviously, he would give in.
Again.
He re-read the last sentence, and then mused over the next one that popped up.
"Speak to me..." He read the words out silently.
His eyes lowered, lashes tipped with light from the monitor.
He pondered for a full three seconds, finger tapping against the touchpad.
In his mind, he connected more beginnings and endings...
Because that was his job.
He felt the click inside him, and the torrents of the world again continued to flow.
Yes.
Yes, this is right.
Endo glanced up with renewed conviction, memorizing that face on his message window.
That expression.
And the way it would always remain in his mind.
Beautiful.
And tragic.
He typed.
"Hulloe ^_^ "
And as he waited for a response, he told himself it would be a simple conversation.
Only, he knew it would never be just that.
- -
<3 Anj
PS: Thanks to Kyra, Chin, Kurin and Nix who have all started writing/again! ^_^
Made me want to write more, myself. ♥
And I think it's a great way to get to learn each other's characters.
..
...
....
...
..
.
A/N:
This is for you, kuro_akira.
^_^
Drabble One: Endo
"And one day, it is going to be clear.
That I had let go, with less a mess.
But for now, my pan is frying.
And I still cling to the handle,
Though pain sears in all its glory."
He lay there...
Just lay there - The muscles around his nape and shoulder blades stiffening, fine nose pressed into the sheets.
The expensive fabric softener he always snuck into the grocery cart - which smelled like lime and various other fruits from the citrus family - was usually quite comforting...
On the contrary, it now wanted to make him gag.
He had the urge to push off the bed, grab whichever coat - Dice's or his - off the chair beside the book-pile that used to be a desk.
Get away...
Because the tension in the room was making it smaller.
He wanted to take a long walk, catch the Porsche Boxter he knew was going to round the block.
Say 'hulloe' to the nice lady down the same street who - by that time, would be shoveling fallen leaves into her outdoor burner.
Stay there at the curb, inhaling the smoke and staring at the sky as the woman's long-lost cat pays her a surprise visit and then disappears again.
Endo lifted slightly from the sheets.
Really.
Scratch that.
The cat will stay for good.
He felt something inside him click, and everything was arranged.
Of course he wanted to.
But he couldn't.
Couldn't escape this.
Even if this was bullshit.
And you're allowing it to happen.
"Coward..." He muttered weakly, throwing a hand over the back of his head and clenching at the thick silvery locks over his nape.
Because he really was one if he couldn't let go.
You can't handle it.
You're scared the emptiness is gonna chew you up and spit you out unconscious.
But he had seen so much more pain in his life.
Had been through various ranks of hurt and come out dandy, save for a tainted conscience.
But had he ever dabbled with emotion? Sunk his legs into that alluring muck and gotten stuck so far in, it started to feel glorious and delicious?
No.
This was wrong.
He pressed his face into the sheets, forgetting his personal issue with the citrus fabric softener.
Remembering, instead, everything he should be forgetting.
The bedside clock announced away the seconds and he did nothing but listen to it tick.
Time didn't wait for anyone to get their bearings or sort themselves out.
And just like that, Endo felt that large presence venture into the room, sinking in and around him like an invisible embrace. And the warmth was there, ghosting over skin, making the hairs at the back of his neck prickle.
His lips parted for breath, brushing at the linen underneath.
And he shut his eyes, mentally strangling the dread, and the sick excitement that clenched and tangled around his insides.
This.
This can't happen between us.
He expelled his frustration with a colorful word hissed down at the sheets.
Waited.
The presence crept around, rolled over the clock and finally seemed to reach a destination.
Another tick, and then a cheerful ding came from the laptop to his right.
He knew who it was.
It was a bother he knew many things.
It was stupid he was walking to his death.
He's gonna try again.
Knowing his tenacity, that impulsive streak, the adorable awkwardness, he'll lure me closer.
And then he's gonna blow my defenses by making me feel like I'm slaying harmless kittens.
Endo thought, and tugged at the sheets, and finally concluded.
I'm going to stop him, and keep stopping him -
Because he shouldn't be hoping.
... And I shouldn't be wishing.
His teeth clenched and he lifted his head off the bed just as the Messenger Icon on his Macbook gave a pop, then another, and another.
And another.
His ash-green eyes narrowed.
The boy was typing.
Entering sentence after sentence.
Demanding.
No. His eyebrows pressed together.
Begging.
He was... desperately begging.
Endo's chest gave a tight squeeze, and he bowed as the pain gripped and gnawed.
He clung to the bedpost and slowly pulled himself up, slouching with a sideways stare at the glowing screen through messy spikes of gray.
Fine.
Keep trying.
I'll keep kicking you down with my steel-toe boots till your ass is broken and bleeding.
Till you won't want to get up.
"Till you hate me..." The sentence rolled off his tongue, languid, certain and just a bit sad.
Endo leaned in.
And his eyes chased across the screen, immediately settling on the pale, beautiful face with the lingering smirk and the deep, penetrating stare.
...
He tore his gaze away from that face and focused on reading the broken PMs.
Obviously, the boy would charm him.
And obviously, he would give in.
Again.
He re-read the last sentence, and then mused over the next one that popped up.
"Speak to me..." He read the words out silently.
His eyes lowered, lashes tipped with light from the monitor.
He pondered for a full three seconds, finger tapping against the touchpad.
In his mind, he connected more beginnings and endings...
Because that was his job.
He felt the click inside him, and the torrents of the world again continued to flow.
Yes.
Yes, this is right.
Endo glanced up with renewed conviction, memorizing that face on his message window.
That expression.
And the way it would always remain in his mind.
Beautiful.
And tragic.
He typed.
"Hulloe ^_^ "
And as he waited for a response, he told himself it would be a simple conversation.
Only, he knew it would never be just that.
- -
<3 Anj
PS: Thanks to Kyra, Chin, Kurin and Nix who have all started writing/again! ^_^
Made me want to write more, myself. ♥
And I think it's a great way to get to learn each other's characters.