OI! BONERS!
Long time, no wang-talk, amirite? Understatement that it's been a bit fucking well hectic in the Den o' Dec over the last few weeks. With Diva being hot as the SUN all over the place at festivals (and seriously slumming it for some feature interviews, I mean, really. IoW I'm looking at you) and house hunting and baby obsessing and pap hating... it's not left a lot of time for the low and lazy. Even though it's hotter than balls (or should I say almost as hot as my wife?)
Speaking of hot things and wives and boners it was the lucky lady's anniversary of birth right about a week ago. Since she's just coming out of her shagged-out bliss fog now, I'll let her tell you how amazing it was HOWEVER fucking sound ALL the alarms because not only were we invited round to Rabby Roo's for a birthday dinner to celebrate, but when we got there, there was a woman in the house that was not the dog. I REPEAT: WAS NOT THE DOG.
She, like Rab, is from Londonderry (so possibly points off for similar levels of awkward retardation and/or being blood related) but she had 10 fingers and two eyes and neither of them was wonky-pointed towards her nose. She seemed to have a relative grasp of the English language (though, again, Londonderry so not high expectations). But she seems nice, I guess. Not that I don't think the world of Rab, but she seemed a bit - look I am a fucking fan of women so don't give me any static, right? - but she seemed a bit... seedier than I'd have expected him to have gone for. Fucking not hard on the eyes either, but surprising nonetheless. Said she was self-employed so whatever the fuck that means.
Needless to say it took a few days to get over the initial shock, and I'll be fucked if I can get more than two beeps of information about it from him because apparently Dajve and I are "RATHER NOSY" when it comes to his love-life. It's not like we're asking for pictures of them boning or anything.
Yet.
Speaking of hot things and wives and boners it was the lucky lady's anniversary of birth right about a week ago. Since she's just coming out of her shagged-out bliss fog now, I'll let her tell you how amazing it was HOWEVER fucking sound ALL the alarms because not only were we invited round to Rabby Roo's for a birthday dinner to celebrate, but when we got there, there was a woman in the house that was not the dog. I REPEAT: WAS NOT THE DOG.
She, like Rab, is from Londonderry (so possibly points off for similar levels of awkward retardation and/or being blood related) but she had 10 fingers and two eyes and neither of them was wonky-pointed towards her nose. She seemed to have a relative grasp of the English language (though, again, Londonderry so not high expectations). But she seems nice, I guess. Not that I don't think the world of Rab, but she seemed a bit - look I am a fucking fan of women so don't give me any static, right? - but she seemed a bit... seedier than I'd have expected him to have gone for. Fucking not hard on the eyes either, but surprising nonetheless. Said she was self-employed so whatever the fuck that means.
Needless to say it took a few days to get over the initial shock, and I'll be fucked if I can get more than two beeps of information about it from him because apparently Dajve and I are "RATHER NOSY" when it comes to his love-life. It's not like we're asking for pictures of them boning or anything.
Yet.