December Movie Preview
Ah, December. When Oscar comes out to play. Most of the Oscar bait tends to hit in December since it leaves the film fresh in the voter’s mind, but it tends to create a glut of high-profile films around Christmas, where the deadline lies. Oddly, things are a little light this year, with no clear front-runner. No sweeping historical epics or big-budget biopics. And this year they’ve opened up the best picture field to ten films, so there will be several dark horse candidates instead of the usual single option. Still, plenty of quality this month, and less obvious turds than usual. Let’s take a look, shall we?
1. AVATAR - Dec 18, IMAX & 3D. Well of course this is number one, you fools! James Cameron hasn’t released a film in 12 years, and he’s spent enough to make three blockbusters for this one. The buzz is getting softer as the date approaches, word is that it’s a fairly middling enterprise. Can the human brain withstand nearly three hours of 3D? Will people go more than once? Will this be Cameron’s “Heaven’s Gate”? Can he get a fair shake? Does he deserve one? Bottom line, it should be quite a ride.
2. THE LOVELY BONES - Dec 11 limited, wide later. Peter Jackson returns! King Kong didn’t really capture the imagination of the world, so this sounded like a much simpler film, the tale of a dead girl helping to solve her own murder, but Jackson managed to go for the gusto, creating a unique look for the afterlife. Buzz is strong, and it should be a very interesting film. Not looking forward to having Mark Wahlberg in the lead, but hopefully Pete got a good performance from him.
3. UP IN THE AIR - Dec 4 limited, wide later. George Clooney teams up with Jason Reitman (THANK YOU FOR SMOKING) to tell the tale of a professional corporate downsizer dealing with the effect his job has on his soul. It’s already won Best Picture from the National Board Of Review, and reviews are solid. And I’m a huge fan of both dudes. I’m really looking forward to this.
4. SHERLOCK HOLMES - Dec 25. Guy Ritchie (SNATCH) takes a shot at the legend with Robert Downey Jr. In the lead, with Jude Law as Watson. It’s definitely not Jeremy Brett’s Holmes, much less intellectual, more down and dirty. Bonus points for having Mark Strong play the villain, this guy is fantastic. Also, Rachel McAdams. *sigh* Remember, this isn’t trying to be the definitive Holmes tale, just a fresh take on the material.
5. THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS - Dec 25. Gee, what’s the press going to focus on for this one? The fact that Gilliam’s firing on all creative cylinders? That it’s a visual delight with solid performances? Five great actors playing one character? You don’t think they’ll focus on the dead guy, do you? Naaaah.
6. THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG - Dec 11. Disney’s return to hand-drawn animation! And it’s their first African-American female lead! Mind you, she spends the bulk of the film as a frog, but still, progress, right? It’s all set in New Orleans, so it’ll be dripping with bayou atmosphere. I’m glad the old animation style has returned, and it’s already grossed a million bucks on two screens, so it should be pretty huge.
7. ME AND ORSON WELLES - Dec 4 limited. Richard Linklater (SCHOOL OF ROCK) tells the tale of a young actor’s time directed by Orson Welles’ stage version of Julius Caesar. Linklater’s a solid director, but the young actor is played by Zac Efron, still, I’m hoping he might actually be decent. And I’m always game for an Orson Welles story.
8. NINE - Dec 18. Rob Marshall (CHICAGO) mines similar territory in the supar-sexy musical with the always awesome Daniel Day Lewis being tormented by nine women from various stages in his life. The man evidently did quite well over the years, since some of the ladies are Nicole Kidman, Marion Cotillard, Penlope Cruz, Kate Hudson, and, uh, Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. Evidently she’s actually really good here, so give her a chance.
9. CRAZY HEART - Dec 18 limited. Jeff Bridges is getting some Oscar buzz for this, where he plays an aging Country music star hitting the skids, and Maggie Gyllenhaal tries to save him. Hey, it’s Jeff being Jeff, so it should be good.
10. INVICTUS - Dec 11. Clint Eastwood mines Oscar Bait territory, telling the tale of Nelson Mandela’s mandate for South Africa to win a rugby World Cup, with captain Matt Damon. I just can’t get excited about this, it seems like low-hanging fruit, a Triumph Of The Human Spirit and whatnot. Oh, and Freeman as Nelson Mandela? In The Role He Was Born To Play? Yeah, whatever. Sorry Clint, I’m sure it’ll be a fine film, but I’m not feelin’ it.
11. THE YOUNG VICTORIA - Dec 18, limited. Another period piece, with Emily Blunt playing the queen. Again, just can’t get excited about another period piece that doesn’t promise anything unique. Nice supporting cast with Paul Bettany, Miranda Richardson, Jim Broadbent, and Mark Strong, and the director is French Canadian, but again, not feelin’ it.
12. BROTHERS - Dec 4. Tobey Maguire goes to Afghanistan and is presumed dead, so his black sheep brother, Jake Gyllenhaal, helps out with the theoretical widow, Natalie Portman. Tobey ain’t dead, he’s just being tortured by the Taliban, so when he gets home, he’s a little messed up. Okay, really, really messed up. War Is Hell movies aren’t playing well these days, but despite the great cast, it doesn’t seem like a pleasant film.
13. A SINGLE MAN - Dec 11 limited. Colin Firth’s lover has died, and he’s trying to move on, with the help of Julianne Moore, which doesn’t really help since he’s gay. It’s evidently a vanity project by fashion mogul Tom Ford, so it’s real purty but not very deep. Shame, it’s a decent cast.
14. ARMORED - Dec 4. Matt Dillon organizes an inside job to steal a buttload of cash from an armoured car, but one of the members gets a conscience and ruins it for everyone. It might make for a cheesy rental down the road, but it ain’t worth your moviegoing cash money. At least Jean Reno and Fred Ward are gettin’ paid. The director, Nimrod Antal (hurr Nimrod hurr) is supposed to be an up-and-comer, since he’s shooting the new Predator film. Still, no.
15. IT’S COMPLICATED - Dec 25. In the “Not For Me” category is Meryl Streep’s latest ode to post-menopausal love, where she’s torn between her ex, Alec Baldwin, and a new guy, Steve Martin. It’ll make a nice night out for your mom and her friends, but I can’t see me in the theatre, despite my love of Baldwin and Martin. It doesn’t look terrible, which says something since we’re already at 15 on the list this month. How about that?
16. EVERYBODY’S FINE - Dec 4. Robert Deniro tries to reconnect with his kids, Drew Barrymore, Sam Rockwell, and Kate Beckinsale. Nice cast, but again, not exactly big-screen entertainment. But still, not terrible.
17. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? - Dec 18. Ahh, now we’re in crap territory. Hugh Grant is back! And he’s with... Sarah Jessica Parker. Oh dear. They’re a bickering New York power couple who witness a murder and are sent to a small town in the middle of nowhere. Boy, I’ll bet those fish will be out of their water! I’ll bet there’s a scene where they end up covered in cow manure! I wonder if they’ll come to love each other again while getting their comeuppance, only to have the killers track them down? Naaah. Still, it doesn’t look as bad as Old Boys. *shudder*
18. ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKQUEL - Dec 23. See what they did there? Obviously I didn’t watch the first, but I assume this one will also be full of poop jokes and wacky hijinks. Oh, and the Chipettes show up too. Whoopee.
So yeah, no big Oscar epics this year. Can’t see Avatar being award worthy beyond the obvious technical aspects. Still plenty of solid entertainment to come this month, but man, January has some possible Worst Of All Time candidates coming. I thought The Tooth Fairy would be the bottom of that list, but I can’t imagine a worse film than... well, that would be telling.
1. AVATAR - Dec 18, IMAX & 3D. Well of course this is number one, you fools! James Cameron hasn’t released a film in 12 years, and he’s spent enough to make three blockbusters for this one. The buzz is getting softer as the date approaches, word is that it’s a fairly middling enterprise. Can the human brain withstand nearly three hours of 3D? Will people go more than once? Will this be Cameron’s “Heaven’s Gate”? Can he get a fair shake? Does he deserve one? Bottom line, it should be quite a ride.
2. THE LOVELY BONES - Dec 11 limited, wide later. Peter Jackson returns! King Kong didn’t really capture the imagination of the world, so this sounded like a much simpler film, the tale of a dead girl helping to solve her own murder, but Jackson managed to go for the gusto, creating a unique look for the afterlife. Buzz is strong, and it should be a very interesting film. Not looking forward to having Mark Wahlberg in the lead, but hopefully Pete got a good performance from him.
3. UP IN THE AIR - Dec 4 limited, wide later. George Clooney teams up with Jason Reitman (THANK YOU FOR SMOKING) to tell the tale of a professional corporate downsizer dealing with the effect his job has on his soul. It’s already won Best Picture from the National Board Of Review, and reviews are solid. And I’m a huge fan of both dudes. I’m really looking forward to this.
4. SHERLOCK HOLMES - Dec 25. Guy Ritchie (SNATCH) takes a shot at the legend with Robert Downey Jr. In the lead, with Jude Law as Watson. It’s definitely not Jeremy Brett’s Holmes, much less intellectual, more down and dirty. Bonus points for having Mark Strong play the villain, this guy is fantastic. Also, Rachel McAdams. *sigh* Remember, this isn’t trying to be the definitive Holmes tale, just a fresh take on the material.
5. THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS - Dec 25. Gee, what’s the press going to focus on for this one? The fact that Gilliam’s firing on all creative cylinders? That it’s a visual delight with solid performances? Five great actors playing one character? You don’t think they’ll focus on the dead guy, do you? Naaaah.
6. THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG - Dec 11. Disney’s return to hand-drawn animation! And it’s their first African-American female lead! Mind you, she spends the bulk of the film as a frog, but still, progress, right? It’s all set in New Orleans, so it’ll be dripping with bayou atmosphere. I’m glad the old animation style has returned, and it’s already grossed a million bucks on two screens, so it should be pretty huge.
7. ME AND ORSON WELLES - Dec 4 limited. Richard Linklater (SCHOOL OF ROCK) tells the tale of a young actor’s time directed by Orson Welles’ stage version of Julius Caesar. Linklater’s a solid director, but the young actor is played by Zac Efron, still, I’m hoping he might actually be decent. And I’m always game for an Orson Welles story.
8. NINE - Dec 18. Rob Marshall (CHICAGO) mines similar territory in the supar-sexy musical with the always awesome Daniel Day Lewis being tormented by nine women from various stages in his life. The man evidently did quite well over the years, since some of the ladies are Nicole Kidman, Marion Cotillard, Penlope Cruz, Kate Hudson, and, uh, Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. Evidently she’s actually really good here, so give her a chance.
9. CRAZY HEART - Dec 18 limited. Jeff Bridges is getting some Oscar buzz for this, where he plays an aging Country music star hitting the skids, and Maggie Gyllenhaal tries to save him. Hey, it’s Jeff being Jeff, so it should be good.
10. INVICTUS - Dec 11. Clint Eastwood mines Oscar Bait territory, telling the tale of Nelson Mandela’s mandate for South Africa to win a rugby World Cup, with captain Matt Damon. I just can’t get excited about this, it seems like low-hanging fruit, a Triumph Of The Human Spirit and whatnot. Oh, and Freeman as Nelson Mandela? In The Role He Was Born To Play? Yeah, whatever. Sorry Clint, I’m sure it’ll be a fine film, but I’m not feelin’ it.
11. THE YOUNG VICTORIA - Dec 18, limited. Another period piece, with Emily Blunt playing the queen. Again, just can’t get excited about another period piece that doesn’t promise anything unique. Nice supporting cast with Paul Bettany, Miranda Richardson, Jim Broadbent, and Mark Strong, and the director is French Canadian, but again, not feelin’ it.
12. BROTHERS - Dec 4. Tobey Maguire goes to Afghanistan and is presumed dead, so his black sheep brother, Jake Gyllenhaal, helps out with the theoretical widow, Natalie Portman. Tobey ain’t dead, he’s just being tortured by the Taliban, so when he gets home, he’s a little messed up. Okay, really, really messed up. War Is Hell movies aren’t playing well these days, but despite the great cast, it doesn’t seem like a pleasant film.
13. A SINGLE MAN - Dec 11 limited. Colin Firth’s lover has died, and he’s trying to move on, with the help of Julianne Moore, which doesn’t really help since he’s gay. It’s evidently a vanity project by fashion mogul Tom Ford, so it’s real purty but not very deep. Shame, it’s a decent cast.
14. ARMORED - Dec 4. Matt Dillon organizes an inside job to steal a buttload of cash from an armoured car, but one of the members gets a conscience and ruins it for everyone. It might make for a cheesy rental down the road, but it ain’t worth your moviegoing cash money. At least Jean Reno and Fred Ward are gettin’ paid. The director, Nimrod Antal (hurr Nimrod hurr) is supposed to be an up-and-comer, since he’s shooting the new Predator film. Still, no.
15. IT’S COMPLICATED - Dec 25. In the “Not For Me” category is Meryl Streep’s latest ode to post-menopausal love, where she’s torn between her ex, Alec Baldwin, and a new guy, Steve Martin. It’ll make a nice night out for your mom and her friends, but I can’t see me in the theatre, despite my love of Baldwin and Martin. It doesn’t look terrible, which says something since we’re already at 15 on the list this month. How about that?
16. EVERYBODY’S FINE - Dec 4. Robert Deniro tries to reconnect with his kids, Drew Barrymore, Sam Rockwell, and Kate Beckinsale. Nice cast, but again, not exactly big-screen entertainment. But still, not terrible.
17. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? - Dec 18. Ahh, now we’re in crap territory. Hugh Grant is back! And he’s with... Sarah Jessica Parker. Oh dear. They’re a bickering New York power couple who witness a murder and are sent to a small town in the middle of nowhere. Boy, I’ll bet those fish will be out of their water! I’ll bet there’s a scene where they end up covered in cow manure! I wonder if they’ll come to love each other again while getting their comeuppance, only to have the killers track them down? Naaah. Still, it doesn’t look as bad as Old Boys. *shudder*
18. ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKQUEL - Dec 23. See what they did there? Obviously I didn’t watch the first, but I assume this one will also be full of poop jokes and wacky hijinks. Oh, and the Chipettes show up too. Whoopee.
So yeah, no big Oscar epics this year. Can’t see Avatar being award worthy beyond the obvious technical aspects. Still plenty of solid entertainment to come this month, but man, January has some possible Worst Of All Time candidates coming. I thought The Tooth Fairy would be the bottom of that list, but I can’t imagine a worse film than... well, that would be telling.