emo. skip if you're allergic to it.
I don't want to be a Lit major anymore. I'm too stupid for it. And people laugh at me because they kick my ass, repeatedly.
It's not like I don't read. Because, goddamn, I *read* Keats' Sylvan Historian. READ IT. But what is T.S. Eliot's complaint? I don't fucking know. And it's not an off day. Everyday, every goddamn MWF, has felt like a fucking off day. I can't contribute to any of my classes (apart from JSP104, where I am forced to), and, on occasion, Hi165. June was a joke. Only I can make my July better.
I told myself, "Get your shit together. You're not like this."
But what if I am really stupid? I am nothing in front of Max Pulan. He's called me twice and on each occasion, my brain decides to take a holiday and leave an incompetent SOM student in its place. I am no one's favorite student. And on the rare occasion that I *do* know the answer, someone else gets to speak up.
I was Wiki-ing late into the night, and I read that Zhang Ziyi cried every morning and every night she went to dance school in Beijing, because she was so intimidated by her classmates. So I tell myself, "There's no shame in crying because you're stupid/incompetent."
This is my wakeup call. I need to grow up really quick. And get a harder, better, faster, stronger, brain.
Or I should just shift to History or IS.
It's not like I don't read. Because, goddamn, I *read* Keats' Sylvan Historian. READ IT. But what is T.S. Eliot's complaint? I don't fucking know. And it's not an off day. Everyday, every goddamn MWF, has felt like a fucking off day. I can't contribute to any of my classes (apart from JSP104, where I am forced to), and, on occasion, Hi165. June was a joke. Only I can make my July better.
I told myself, "Get your shit together. You're not like this."
But what if I am really stupid? I am nothing in front of Max Pulan. He's called me twice and on each occasion, my brain decides to take a holiday and leave an incompetent SOM student in its place. I am no one's favorite student. And on the rare occasion that I *do* know the answer, someone else gets to speak up.
I was Wiki-ing late into the night, and I read that Zhang Ziyi cried every morning and every night she went to dance school in Beijing, because she was so intimidated by her classmates. So I tell myself, "There's no shame in crying because you're stupid/incompetent."
This is my wakeup call. I need to grow up really quick. And get a harder, better, faster, stronger, brain.
Or I should just shift to History or IS.