*iz srsly, SRSLY on crack*
Nothing really says, "YAY, MONDAY!" quite like pretty pictures of pretty guys, Y/N?
Meme stolen from ... hell, everybody:
1 List 15 celebrities you would have sex with; no questions asked.
2 Put them in order of your lust for them (1 being the highest)
3 Say which movie/show/whatever it was that hooked you.
4 Supply photos for said people.
This list confirms that I am definitely smoking something.
01. JEMAINE CLEMENT
Business hours are completely negotiable and not limited to Wednesday nights, as long as he shows up with business socks. I'll bring the ugly, baggy t-shirt I got from my team-building exercise from my old work several years ago.
... oh, God. I ACTUALLY HAVE ONE.
I actually first heard about his HBO "FotC" specials, and then read an NY Times review for "The Eagle Vs. the Shark," which I've never seen, but I didn't connect those 'cause I'm just that dumb.
02. JAMES MCAVOY
Please have kids already so you can be a DILF. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I'LL HELP YOU, MR. TUMNUS.
OK, Mr. Tumnus was not supposed to be a pedo, nor was he supposed to be so friggin' adorable. Actually, I think I glimpsed him in an "Inspector Lynley" "Foyle's" (my bad) episode prior to Narnia, but still. STILL. LOVE!
FYI, the best part of "Lorna Doone" was discovering that he in fact DIDN'T die during the Ridd farm siege. And that was NOT a spoiler. :)
03. IOAN GRUFFUDD
I can disregard his bitch wife and the "Fantastic Four" movies because he shines as Horatio Hornblower, Captain in the Royal Navy and COMMANDER OF MY HEART. He has a lovely Welsh accent, and the incomparable ability to rock period wardrobe.
Also, we would not have sex. We would make tender, passionate love. (OMG, shut UP.)
04. DANIEL CASEY
Why hello there, Sergeant Troy. You can solve my mystery any day, bring me in for closed-door interrogation, whatever you need to do. And take your sweet time.
(Don't read too much into this one -- I've just been watching too much "Midsomer Murders." Also, apparently he's a DILF. Ain't that a kick in the head?)
05. WILLIAM MOSELEY, a.k.a. "KPTF"
King Peter the Magnificent? You mean King Peter THE FOXY. He is totally age-appropriate and therefore can take me [to Narnia] ANYTIME.
On second thought, maybe this haircut isn't such a great look for him ... I'm getting flashes of Boyface. AHHHHHH. Can't have that, now.
06. MAX MINGHELLA
Okay, so he has a girlfriend, his character was a total prick in "Art School Confidential," and he may not be able to pass as a convincing actor -- but his father, a superb screenwriter, could give me invaluable writing tips.
More importantly, he is half-Asian. Oh mai god. We would have THE MOST BEAUTIFUL behbehs.
07. LINUS ROACHE, a.k.a. Dr. Thomas Wayne, "Batman's dad"
Sure, Christian Bale is great as Bruce Wayne, but in order to understand the character's transformation, you had to believe his father was really a DILF *that* great and merited all that wangst. And Linus Roache sold me on that.
Before that movie, I saw him in "The Wings of the Dove." There's a Certain Scene in it that's like, "Oh ... HI." Now you can catch him every Wednesday night as D.A. Mike Cutter on "Law & Order," although he usually doesn't show up till halfway into an episode.
08. Jason Street SCOTT PORTER
Oh, Six. Stick with me and your pass completion rate will surpass 72%. Wheelchair is optional.
I can't stand it when Street cries, y'all, because it almost makes ME cry. I just want to climb on his lap and hug him and take him home for dinner (and other stuff).
NOTE: Tim Riggins, 33, may be my favorite character right now, and although I lovelovelove Kyle Chandler, he belongs in his own category ("TV DILF with Best Hair," Y/N?).
09. (SEÑOR) CHRISTIAN BALE
5 out of 5-star DILF. Only so far down the list because saying I'd do him isn't exactly breaking news anymore (well, me and half of ohnotheydidnt). Anyway:
SEÑOR BALE, I'LL RIDE YOUR 3:10 TO YUMA. COME PUNCH MY TICKET ALREADY.
10. RICHARD ARMITAGE
IMHO, Mr. Thornton trumps Mr. Darcy, any day. The end of "North & South" was quite possibly one of the most romantic things I have EVER seen and I wanted on him SO BAD. He brought so much depth to John Thornton that he made me want to read the book!
There's this Cafepress t-shirt that says, "I found my thrill in Marlborough Mills." I want that shirt, too.
11. CHIWETEL EJIOFOR
I really want to stop myself from making a joke about his versatility ... BUT I CANNAE. How about, he's awesome and makes me like movies I shouldn't like and I hated Keira Knightley for marrying him in "Love, Actually"?
Go watch "Talk to Me." Seriously, so good.
12. EWAN MCGREGOR
What CAN'T the man do? I really have no choice but to revert to the classic ONTD statement: Come what may, I will love him until the end of time.
Also, his uncle is AWESOME. (Wedge-freaking-Antilles, Dreadnaught Foster in "Hornblower," and John Jarndyce in "Bleak House.")
13. PETER CINCOTTI
Soooo, how 'bout those jazz hands, Peter?
...
ILY BB, but you have got to stop writing cheesy awful midlife crisis songs and go back to covering standards. You're only a couple years older than I am, so what's the deal?
14. NATHAN "Captain Tightpants" FILLION
Before I was ever into half-Asian guys, engineers, or costume dramas, I was into Canadians, hardcore hardcore.
And before this guy was Captain Tightpants or Dr. Pomatter from "Waitress," he was Johnny from "Two Guys and a Girl" (although at the time I was more into Ryan Reynolds). That show made me notice his great comic timing, but I'm sure his, um, *other* timing is great, too.
15. GAEL GARCIA BERNAL
Oh, God. To quote "FotC," he's so hot, he's making me sexist. (Asshole.) He always looks like he cut his hair in the dark, but he makes it work somehow. And when he smiles, my ovaries melt. I wish my dad was rich so he could buy him for me. :(
He and Javier Bardem are the top 2 reasons I'm considering taking up Spanish again. Am I shallow? Por supuesto.
If I were you, right now I would be worried about knowing that Jason Street had a 72% pass completion rate. I should not even know that. WHY DO I KNOW THAT?!?!?! OMG YOU GUYS, I NEED A JOB.
Stay tuned for "If I Could Turn Back Time: Older Celebrity Mantasies" and the mtpe exclusive, "TV DILFS."
Meme stolen from ... hell, everybody:
1 List 15 celebrities you would have sex with; no questions asked.
2 Put them in order of your lust for them (1 being the highest)
3 Say which movie/show/whatever it was that hooked you.
4 Supply photos for said people.
This list confirms that I am definitely smoking something.
01. JEMAINE CLEMENT
Business hours are completely negotiable and not limited to Wednesday nights, as long as he shows up with business socks. I'll bring the ugly, baggy t-shirt I got from my team-building exercise from my old work several years ago.
... oh, God. I ACTUALLY HAVE ONE.
I actually first heard about his HBO "FotC" specials, and then read an NY Times review for "The Eagle Vs. the Shark," which I've never seen, but I didn't connect those 'cause I'm just that dumb.
02. JAMES MCAVOY
Please have kids already so you can be a DILF. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I'LL HELP YOU, MR. TUMNUS.
OK, Mr. Tumnus was not supposed to be a pedo, nor was he supposed to be so friggin' adorable. Actually, I think I glimpsed him in an "Inspector Lynley" "Foyle's" (my bad) episode prior to Narnia, but still. STILL. LOVE!
FYI, the best part of "Lorna Doone" was discovering that he in fact DIDN'T die during the Ridd farm siege. And that was NOT a spoiler. :)
03. IOAN GRUFFUDD
I can disregard his bitch wife and the "Fantastic Four" movies because he shines as Horatio Hornblower, Captain in the Royal Navy and COMMANDER OF MY HEART. He has a lovely Welsh accent, and the incomparable ability to rock period wardrobe.
Also, we would not have sex. We would make tender, passionate love. (OMG, shut UP.)
04. DANIEL CASEY
Why hello there, Sergeant Troy. You can solve my mystery any day, bring me in for closed-door interrogation, whatever you need to do. And take your sweet time.
(Don't read too much into this one -- I've just been watching too much "Midsomer Murders." Also, apparently he's a DILF. Ain't that a kick in the head?)
05. WILLIAM MOSELEY, a.k.a. "KPTF"
King Peter the Magnificent? You mean King Peter THE FOXY. He is totally age-appropriate and therefore can take me [to Narnia] ANYTIME.
On second thought, maybe this haircut isn't such a great look for him ... I'm getting flashes of Boyface. AHHHHHH. Can't have that, now.
06. MAX MINGHELLA
Okay, so he has a girlfriend, his character was a total prick in "Art School Confidential," and he may not be able to pass as a convincing actor -- but his father, a superb screenwriter, could give me invaluable writing tips.
More importantly, he is half-Asian. Oh mai god. We would have THE MOST BEAUTIFUL behbehs.
07. LINUS ROACHE, a.k.a. Dr. Thomas Wayne, "Batman's dad"
Sure, Christian Bale is great as Bruce Wayne, but in order to understand the character's transformation, you had to believe his father was really a DILF *that* great and merited all that wangst. And Linus Roache sold me on that.
Before that movie, I saw him in "The Wings of the Dove." There's a Certain Scene in it that's like, "Oh ... HI." Now you can catch him every Wednesday night as D.A. Mike Cutter on "Law & Order," although he usually doesn't show up till halfway into an episode.
08. Jason Street SCOTT PORTER
Oh, Six. Stick with me and your pass completion rate will surpass 72%. Wheelchair is optional.
I can't stand it when Street cries, y'all, because it almost makes ME cry. I just want to climb on his lap and hug him and take him home for dinner (and other stuff).
NOTE: Tim Riggins, 33, may be my favorite character right now, and although I lovelovelove Kyle Chandler, he belongs in his own category ("TV DILF with Best Hair," Y/N?).
09. (SEÑOR) CHRISTIAN BALE
5 out of 5-star DILF. Only so far down the list because saying I'd do him isn't exactly breaking news anymore (well, me and half of ohnotheydidnt). Anyway:
SEÑOR BALE, I'LL RIDE YOUR 3:10 TO YUMA. COME PUNCH MY TICKET ALREADY.
10. RICHARD ARMITAGE
IMHO, Mr. Thornton trumps Mr. Darcy, any day. The end of "North & South" was quite possibly one of the most romantic things I have EVER seen and I wanted on him SO BAD. He brought so much depth to John Thornton that he made me want to read the book!
There's this Cafepress t-shirt that says, "I found my thrill in Marlborough Mills." I want that shirt, too.
11. CHIWETEL EJIOFOR
I really want to stop myself from making a joke about his versatility ... BUT I CANNAE. How about, he's awesome and makes me like movies I shouldn't like and I hated Keira Knightley for marrying him in "Love, Actually"?
Go watch "Talk to Me." Seriously, so good.
12. EWAN MCGREGOR
What CAN'T the man do? I really have no choice but to revert to the classic ONTD statement: Come what may, I will love him until the end of time.
Also, his uncle is AWESOME. (Wedge-freaking-Antilles, Dreadnaught Foster in "Hornblower," and John Jarndyce in "Bleak House.")
13. PETER CINCOTTI
Soooo, how 'bout those jazz hands, Peter?
...
ILY BB, but you have got to stop writing cheesy awful midlife crisis songs and go back to covering standards. You're only a couple years older than I am, so what's the deal?
14. NATHAN "Captain Tightpants" FILLION
Before I was ever into half-Asian guys, engineers, or costume dramas, I was into Canadians, hardcore hardcore.
And before this guy was Captain Tightpants or Dr. Pomatter from "Waitress," he was Johnny from "Two Guys and a Girl" (although at the time I was more into Ryan Reynolds). That show made me notice his great comic timing, but I'm sure his, um, *other* timing is great, too.
15. GAEL GARCIA BERNAL
Oh, God. To quote "FotC," he's so hot, he's making me sexist. (Asshole.) He always looks like he cut his hair in the dark, but he makes it work somehow. And when he smiles, my ovaries melt. I wish my dad was rich so he could buy him for me. :(
He and Javier Bardem are the top 2 reasons I'm considering taking up Spanish again. Am I shallow? Por supuesto.
If I were you, right now I would be worried about knowing that Jason Street had a 72% pass completion rate. I should not even know that. WHY DO I KNOW THAT?!?!?! OMG YOU GUYS, I NEED A JOB.
Stay tuned for "If I Could Turn Back Time: Older Celebrity Mantasies" and the mtpe exclusive, "TV DILFS."