They Will Kill Us All I Know It
I am looking forward to the day my son is old enough to have chores. It can be really hard to find the time and the energy to clean the house with an almost three year old running around. Even if we could just assign one task it would help. I mean, currently, he will do the vacuuming for us. Trouble is that he vacuums chaotically. Given the task for real, he would not actually get the whole house, or even the whole living room; he'd simply vacuum a few random strips of carpet like 300 times.
I am not a fool though. I know that even when he is old enough to help it will be an immense challenge to get him to help.
ME: Son, please vacuum the bonus room, hallways, and then clean the zombie corpses out of the moat.
SON: Daaaaad, that'll take forever!
ME: It takes maybe 30 minutes; just do it.
SON: This is so lame. It is unfair.
ME: Do it or you cannot go out tonight.
SON: But you know I have a date with Krysteenah! (Yes, her parents gave her a weird ass spelling so her name would be "unique")
[In the distance his mother's head-in-a-jar cringes]
ME: All the more reason to get started.
SON: Can't we just get a robo-servant like everyone else?
ME: No! We cannot trust the machines. Dammit. You know we can't trust them. They will be the end of all mankind! Now get to work or I'll re-animate the rest of your mother and she'll make you do it. Do you want that?
Still, I look forward to the day he could help even just a little. I know it'll be a forty minute argument for the sake of 20 minutes of work, but it builds character.
I am not a fool though. I know that even when he is old enough to help it will be an immense challenge to get him to help.
ME: Son, please vacuum the bonus room, hallways, and then clean the zombie corpses out of the moat.
SON: Daaaaad, that'll take forever!
ME: It takes maybe 30 minutes; just do it.
SON: This is so lame. It is unfair.
ME: Do it or you cannot go out tonight.
SON: But you know I have a date with Krysteenah! (Yes, her parents gave her a weird ass spelling so her name would be "unique")
[In the distance his mother's head-in-a-jar cringes]
ME: All the more reason to get started.
SON: Can't we just get a robo-servant like everyone else?
ME: No! We cannot trust the machines. Dammit. You know we can't trust them. They will be the end of all mankind! Now get to work or I'll re-animate the rest of your mother and she'll make you do it. Do you want that?
Still, I look forward to the day he could help even just a little. I know it'll be a forty minute argument for the sake of 20 minutes of work, but it builds character.