I can barely breathe; I'm caught in suspension.

[batmansbstfrend]

You know those times where you feel so unsettled, like there's something you want or need or are supposed to do but you don't know what? Or like life's turning out a different way than you want? The path you're taking seems to have been paved by someone else?

Well I'm not like that right now. That's kinda hopeless. I suppose if you alter the circumstances a little bit, then it's hopeful. Like I know what I wanna do. And I know it won't come easy.

But nothing good does. I really think God makes you prove you want something. If He dropped something perfect in your lap--the perfect job, relationship, whatever--and you didn't have to work for it or put any effort into it at all, would you cherish it, protect it, be loyal to it like you would if you had to work your tail off for it?

I think not.

I really want this.

While we're heading in this direction, I don't think anyone is meant for a job they hate. I whole-heartedly trust God with my future. Who am I to doubt that I'll enjoy it? He didn't make me for pain. I am made for happiness. It's not a bad thing to make the most of each day.

I think I'm going to bed now. Thanks for listening. I hope you're at least mildly inspired.