Sweet Dreams.
Title: Sweet Dreams.
Universe: Nolanverse.
Genre: Humour.
Rating: NC-17.
Characters/Pairings: Joker/Batman (one sided).
Disclaimer: Batman and his world are copyright of DC Comics, Warner Bros et al.
Word Count: 368.
Warnings: Sexytimes. Sort of.
Summary: The Joker confides his feelings to his favourite knife. Total crackfic.
“Oh, that’s where you’ve been hiding!”
The Joker gleefully plucked Trish - that being his very favourite knife - out from under the ratty little couch in his ratty, rundown apartment. His words stirred the many months worth of gathered dust on the floorboards, causing the Joker to cough a little as he rescued his princess.
Sitting up, he cradled the deadly blade as though it were a child, speaking soothingly to it. “It’s okay, Trish, you’re with Daddy now.” The Joker laid her gently on the polished, elegant coffee table he’d stolen from someone at some point, couldn’t honestly remember who or when, and sprawled out on the couch.
“So, you remember what we were talking about before, don’t you?” The Joker asked Trish. “Well, I had another one of those dreams and I just don’t know what I should do about it.”
Trish didn’t seem to have much to say on the matter and the Joker let his mind drift off, recalling how right, how perfect, how natural it had felt to let his tongue lick ever so slowly up the Batman’s cock. That he had wanted so badly to do it, do anything Batman asked, just didn’t seem quite right to the Joker. Oh, he had no problem fucking with Batman in other ways, but literally?
Sex was something the Joker hadn’t spared a single thought for since his transformation from Joe-whoever-the-hell. “I mean, I can recognise when someone is beautiful,” he explained to Trish. “But I wouldn’t wanna fuck them, that’s too easy! Now killing, that’s hard. That takes work. Not everyone can do that. Anyone can play hide the sausage. Except those with erectile dysfunction.”
The Joker chuckled, plucked Trish off the table and stroked a finger up her beautiful, deadly sharp blade. “And how does one seduce a Batman anyway?”
Trish had no advice to give. The Joker would have to figure that one out on his own.
Universe: Nolanverse.
Genre: Humour.
Rating: NC-17.
Characters/Pairings: Joker/Batman (one sided).
Disclaimer: Batman and his world are copyright of DC Comics, Warner Bros et al.
Word Count: 368.
Warnings: Sexytimes. Sort of.
Summary: The Joker confides his feelings to his favourite knife. Total crackfic.
“Oh, that’s where you’ve been hiding!”
The Joker gleefully plucked Trish - that being his very favourite knife - out from under the ratty little couch in his ratty, rundown apartment. His words stirred the many months worth of gathered dust on the floorboards, causing the Joker to cough a little as he rescued his princess.
Sitting up, he cradled the deadly blade as though it were a child, speaking soothingly to it. “It’s okay, Trish, you’re with Daddy now.” The Joker laid her gently on the polished, elegant coffee table he’d stolen from someone at some point, couldn’t honestly remember who or when, and sprawled out on the couch.
“So, you remember what we were talking about before, don’t you?” The Joker asked Trish. “Well, I had another one of those dreams and I just don’t know what I should do about it.”
Trish didn’t seem to have much to say on the matter and the Joker let his mind drift off, recalling how right, how perfect, how natural it had felt to let his tongue lick ever so slowly up the Batman’s cock. That he had wanted so badly to do it, do anything Batman asked, just didn’t seem quite right to the Joker. Oh, he had no problem fucking with Batman in other ways, but literally?
Sex was something the Joker hadn’t spared a single thought for since his transformation from Joe-whoever-the-hell. “I mean, I can recognise when someone is beautiful,” he explained to Trish. “But I wouldn’t wanna fuck them, that’s too easy! Now killing, that’s hard. That takes work. Not everyone can do that. Anyone can play hide the sausage. Except those with erectile dysfunction.”
The Joker chuckled, plucked Trish off the table and stroked a finger up her beautiful, deadly sharp blade. “And how does one seduce a Batman anyway?”
Trish had no advice to give. The Joker would have to figure that one out on his own.