Gotham Idol Round 4 - [thesingingbush] - Fic - [Not A Bit Intimidated]
Title: Not a Bit Intimidated
Author: thesingingbush
Disclaimer: I didn't see anything, I didn't hear anything, I didn't say anything, I didn't do anything, I don't own anything. As far as anyone's concerned, this is all a dream. Now try and sue that. XD
Characters/Pairings: Batman/Joker
Word Count: 2,274
Rating: PG
Prompt: Missing Scene
Era: Directly after Batman Begins
Warning: First-time meeting, kissing, brief lewd behavior
Summary: Batman meets up with a painted-faced man. But who the hell is he?
Team: Knight
((A/N: I hope just because it's rated PG and I sucked at a summary -and a title- this time you guys will take pity on me and read it anyway. ;o; Comments help me breathe!!---Seriously. o_O))
"....Now, take this guy: armed robbery, double homicide. Got a taste for theatrical, like you. Leaves a calling card."
"I'll look into it...."
He left Gordan standing there atop the MCU building as he jumped off. His cape jutted out like wings and glided him smoothly down towards the direction of the Tumbler. When reaching closer to the ground he stuck his legs down to brace himself, then ran as his cape relaxed to it's usual place behind his back.
Batman drove through the streets and made his way to the other side of the city. He made a left turn down a ramp which seemed to lead to the bowels of what some people considered the true heart of Gotham. This is the birthplace of evil, he thought. The area where all our problems fester and spread it's filth like cancer to people undeserving. This is what I need to make a stand against. This is where my symbol, my very presence needs to be burned into their minds as an ominous warning to them that I am here, and I will come for them in due time. Batman smiled quietly to himself. If they haven't feared me yet, they will. Oh yes, they will. I most certainly will make sure of tha--
SPLAT!
Batman turned the wheel and hit the brakes, spinning wildly as something purple and green encompassed a major part of his front windshield. It screeched to a halt after a 180 degree turn parallel to a dark-as-pitch alleyway.
The way it played out almost seemed that it was meant to happen like this...
Batman sat stunned staring at the goop which now was slowly dripping down the glass. What the hell just happened? He looked down and glanced at his instruments before another loud splat! hit his windshield again and startled him. It didn't seem to be causing any damage, aside from impairing his vision. When another hit the driver's side window he turned the handles which pulled the roof back and over for him to get out.
He stood up and scanned his surroundings, but before he could leap out another roundish purple and green thing went flying from the dark alleyway and hit him square in the face. He frantically wiped it off as he jumped down and ran to the shadows. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew it was cold. Some of it leaked into his mouth, and it tasted...fruity.
There was a laugh that echoed in all directions, followed by a nasally-pitched voice. Batman froze.
"How do you like my favorite frozen desert? I think it uh, suits me rather well. I thought I'd share it with you, one dramatist to another! It's called 'Rock 'n Pop Swirl Sherbet', and it's served with green-colored Grape sherbet and purple-colored Green Apple sherbet loaded with popping candy! Only 190 Calories, so you won't have to feel guilty about your girlish figure when you indulge yourself."
Batman ditched silently into the alleyway when he surmised the annoying voice was coming from there. Some of the cold sherbet seeped down through every crack in his cowl and down his neck like sweat. Even though he did his very best to get rid of it -just shy of taking off his mask- he couldn't stop it from stinging into his eyes and forming a sticky goo on his skin.
He wiped again at his eyes, smearing some of the coal away and squinted into the darkness. When he thought he saw a shadow move he took out his grappling hook and shot it in that general direction. He heard it hit against something and he pulled it taught, only to find resistance. When he caught up to it he saw that he snagged a portion of a wall. He could have sworn something was there, and he cursed softly to himself as he blamed his impertinence on his now burning eyes.
There were mechanical blips, clicking, and the feminine voice of the Tumbler coming from behind. Batman felt a streak of panic rush up to his chest when he realized he had stupidly left the Batmobile open for attacks. He spun around, and even through his impaired vision he could see two purple legs dangling out of the top of the car and were wiggling back and forth.
"HEY!" Batman roared as he strode after him. A head peeked up and Batman did a half pause-trip when he saw the face in blurred vision. It was all white with gaping black holes where the eyes should have been and a most frightening overstretched red smile which at first he thought was blood. Slimey moss-like hair hung low near the shoulders and some clumps were slapped across the white forehead.
Batman recovered quickly and continued his pursuit at this queer individual. "GET OUT OF THERE!" Upon the command the clown-faced man scrambled rather clumsily out of the vehicle and ran away in another direction. Batman wasn't in the mood to chase after him and passed off his actions as being nothing but a test of masculinity to prove how tough he is by "messing with the Batman".
He stepped into the Tumbler and roughly sat down. He shut the roof door closed and looked over his instruments to make sure nothing was severed, broken or otherwise. Surprisingly, everything seemed to be just as he left it and he set out to leave. He lifted his hand to...wait.
Several rat-a-tat taps came from his left and he turned. Bending down his head to peek in through the long rectangular window, the ghastly faced man smiled cheekily at Batman and shook something in front of his face. It was a thick odd-looking piece of metal, which Batman immediately recognized as the Tumbler's starter key. Shit.
It took him mere moments to once again slide the roof door open and stand up. This man was unbelievably irritating, such as when Batman got out and charged, the other one did very little to protest. In fact, he didn't even run or show panic or fear of any kind. He didn't appear intimidated by his presence at all. He just took a few awkward steps back, putting his hands behind him and licked his lips, smiling. When Batman got closer he noticed for the first time the shocking damage that was done to the other man's face. As if he had taken a knife and sliced one cheek and sawed the other. What had happened to him?
Didn't matter, it was irrelevant.
Batman reached the purple dressed man in the white face paint and tried to grab for the key. But, that proved to be easier said than done. The other one was making it extremely difficult for him and quite evidently refused to cooperate. Everytime Batman shot out a hand to grab at the other's gloved one, he would tilt his body away, moving the key to the other hand and laughed. Batman grew enraged when he realized the other man was treating this as if it were a game. He kept staring at him with a childlike fascination.
After a few more frustrating misses Batman eventually got the purple clad arms controlled behind his back. The man wiggled but not enough to try and get away as Batman held together the thin wrists with one hand and grabbed the key with the other. Got it.
The painted faced man's eyes sparkled alive and a pink tongue swept lavishly over his bottom lip. "Ahhh. Don't mind if I do." He lunged his head forward and planted his lips hard against the Batman's.
Batman's mind went blank and he froze, eyes wide with shock. He couldn't fathom what was happening to him as the other one licked across his teeth then sucked on his bottom lip, every once in a while biting down. He started to take over and rubbed himself in a vulgar fashion against the Batman's armor and groin, moaning into his mouth unabashedly. He slid his purple gloves out of the vigilante's grip and after a quick once-over began to fiddle with the Bat's belt. He then purred happily and pulled his lips away, staring into Batman's stunned and bloodshot eyes. "Mmmm, thanks for the oh-so friendly welcome to this fine, fair city." He said, his voice low and rough.
The world snapped back into motion. Batman blinked and in the next instant pushed the man away with as much strength as he could muster, wiped his lips and turned, speed-walking back to his vehicle. The man in the poorly done face paint had fallen to the floor from the shove and merrily laughed about it. He watched as Batman haphazardly cleaned off his windshields, get back into the Tumbler and close the top one last time. He picked himself up and whistled at him.
Batman wanted so desperately to ignore him and just go home for a night cape and pass out on the bed to forget this ever happened. But, unfortunately he was struck dumb at the moment and turned toward the sound. He saw the purple man wiggle his fingers at him and mouth the words see you soon, before winking and running into the darkness. He prayed to God that was the last time he'd see that demented freak.
When he started the Batmobile up the speakers blasted at an ear-bleeding volume the song The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down, nearly giving Batman a stroke. When he finally found the power switch to turn it off, he couldn't hear the rumble of the engine anymore. Just a constant, annoying ringing sound. How in the hell that guy was able to reformat the car to be able to play a song, let alone a specific tune when he himself wasn't able to figure that out yet was so beyond his understanding, it gave him a pounding headache when it passed through his mind momentarily.
Batman squeezed the sides of his head then let go, putting the car into 1st gear and headed home. He didn't care if half the city blew up he was done for tonight.
* * * * *
He turned the engine off and waited for the roof door to fully open then climbed out of the car. He was dead tired and he didn't know why. Bruce peeled the cowl off his face gently, for the sticky remnants seemed to have glued his face to the rubber. His skin pulled, but it didn't hurt. Too much. He started taking off the rest of the armor on his arms and chest, shuffling across the floor. He sighed through his nose as he undid his belt, and noticed out of the corner of his eye something flutter to the ground. He bent down to pick it up and saw it was a Joker playing card. Cold water couldn't have woken him up better. He ran to the Batmobile and removed the plastic evidence bag with the Joker card inside that Gordan had given him a few hours earlier and compared it to the new card he now held in his hand. Minus the character on the front having a slightly different pose than the other the cards looked like they came from the same deck.
"That man," Bruce whispered to himself. Was he the same guy that Gordan was telling him about? The armed robbery, double homicide one? But, other than vandalizing the Tumbler with soft serve and being extremely forward with myself, he seemed quite harmless. The again, looks can be deceiving...
Bruce shook his head. "No." He stated aloud and continued to undress. "I'm jumping the gun here. He's a harmless, terribly confused, scarred man whose probably starving for attention and was a little too curious about the Batman for his own good. He most likely put that card in my belt to see if I'd come after him. Well, I hate to burst his bubble but I don't hunt down the thrill-seekers. He'll just have to live with the fact that tonight will be the last time we meet, that's all."
Bruce paused and frowned. "Why am I talking to myself?" He shrugged not really caring and took off the last pieces in silence.
* * * * *
That night Bruce dreamed. He dreamt of a dark room. In the middle of the room there was a large iron box with thick heavy chains around it with formidable locks holding them tightly in place. A inch thick of dust lay all around it's forgotten form. Suddenly, the box quivers. Then shakes. A rapidly growing light pierces through every crack as the box moves violently against the restraints. Pounding is heard coming from within, and soon the strain becomes too much for the padlocks and they begin to bend as the lid bangs open again and again, each time letting more light out. Finally the locks break with a snap, flying in all directions. The chains clatter heavily to the floor and the lid pops open to reveal a Jack-in-the-box clown head with a ghastly face on top of a spring, swaying from one side to another. It's shrieking laughter reverberates off the walls as the light drowns out the darkness until everything is burning white.
When Bruce awakens the next morning, the dream is lost and forgotten.
((A/N: Okay, believe it or not but that sherbet I mentioned earlier is real. I'm not kidding. I found it by accident when trying to look for a picture of Tutty-Fruity, or however the hell you spell it. I originally was going to do vanilla, then thought about it and realized that was way too plain. So when I couldn't find Tutty-Fruity -or whatever- I looked up a list of other ice cream flavors to see how it's spelled, when I came across Rock 'n Pop. I, belly-laughed. When I read the screwed up description about it to my mother, she agreed it fit him perfectly. As if it was made for him. Who knows? Maybe it was...>83))
Author: thesingingbush
Disclaimer: I didn't see anything, I didn't hear anything, I didn't say anything, I didn't do anything, I don't own anything. As far as anyone's concerned, this is all a dream. Now try and sue that. XD
Characters/Pairings: Batman/Joker
Word Count: 2,274
Rating: PG
Prompt: Missing Scene
Era: Directly after Batman Begins
Warning: First-time meeting, kissing, brief lewd behavior
Summary: Batman meets up with a painted-faced man. But who the hell is he?
Team: Knight
((A/N: I hope just because it's rated PG and I sucked at a summary -and a title- this time you guys will take pity on me and read it anyway. ;o; Comments help me breathe!!---Seriously. o_O))
"....Now, take this guy: armed robbery, double homicide. Got a taste for theatrical, like you. Leaves a calling card."
"I'll look into it...."
He left Gordan standing there atop the MCU building as he jumped off. His cape jutted out like wings and glided him smoothly down towards the direction of the Tumbler. When reaching closer to the ground he stuck his legs down to brace himself, then ran as his cape relaxed to it's usual place behind his back.
Batman drove through the streets and made his way to the other side of the city. He made a left turn down a ramp which seemed to lead to the bowels of what some people considered the true heart of Gotham. This is the birthplace of evil, he thought. The area where all our problems fester and spread it's filth like cancer to people undeserving. This is what I need to make a stand against. This is where my symbol, my very presence needs to be burned into their minds as an ominous warning to them that I am here, and I will come for them in due time. Batman smiled quietly to himself. If they haven't feared me yet, they will. Oh yes, they will. I most certainly will make sure of tha--
SPLAT!
Batman turned the wheel and hit the brakes, spinning wildly as something purple and green encompassed a major part of his front windshield. It screeched to a halt after a 180 degree turn parallel to a dark-as-pitch alleyway.
The way it played out almost seemed that it was meant to happen like this...
Batman sat stunned staring at the goop which now was slowly dripping down the glass. What the hell just happened? He looked down and glanced at his instruments before another loud splat! hit his windshield again and startled him. It didn't seem to be causing any damage, aside from impairing his vision. When another hit the driver's side window he turned the handles which pulled the roof back and over for him to get out.
He stood up and scanned his surroundings, but before he could leap out another roundish purple and green thing went flying from the dark alleyway and hit him square in the face. He frantically wiped it off as he jumped down and ran to the shadows. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew it was cold. Some of it leaked into his mouth, and it tasted...fruity.
There was a laugh that echoed in all directions, followed by a nasally-pitched voice. Batman froze.
"How do you like my favorite frozen desert? I think it uh, suits me rather well. I thought I'd share it with you, one dramatist to another! It's called 'Rock 'n Pop Swirl Sherbet', and it's served with green-colored Grape sherbet and purple-colored Green Apple sherbet loaded with popping candy! Only 190 Calories, so you won't have to feel guilty about your girlish figure when you indulge yourself."
Batman ditched silently into the alleyway when he surmised the annoying voice was coming from there. Some of the cold sherbet seeped down through every crack in his cowl and down his neck like sweat. Even though he did his very best to get rid of it -just shy of taking off his mask- he couldn't stop it from stinging into his eyes and forming a sticky goo on his skin.
He wiped again at his eyes, smearing some of the coal away and squinted into the darkness. When he thought he saw a shadow move he took out his grappling hook and shot it in that general direction. He heard it hit against something and he pulled it taught, only to find resistance. When he caught up to it he saw that he snagged a portion of a wall. He could have sworn something was there, and he cursed softly to himself as he blamed his impertinence on his now burning eyes.
There were mechanical blips, clicking, and the feminine voice of the Tumbler coming from behind. Batman felt a streak of panic rush up to his chest when he realized he had stupidly left the Batmobile open for attacks. He spun around, and even through his impaired vision he could see two purple legs dangling out of the top of the car and were wiggling back and forth.
"HEY!" Batman roared as he strode after him. A head peeked up and Batman did a half pause-trip when he saw the face in blurred vision. It was all white with gaping black holes where the eyes should have been and a most frightening overstretched red smile which at first he thought was blood. Slimey moss-like hair hung low near the shoulders and some clumps were slapped across the white forehead.
Batman recovered quickly and continued his pursuit at this queer individual. "GET OUT OF THERE!" Upon the command the clown-faced man scrambled rather clumsily out of the vehicle and ran away in another direction. Batman wasn't in the mood to chase after him and passed off his actions as being nothing but a test of masculinity to prove how tough he is by "messing with the Batman".
He stepped into the Tumbler and roughly sat down. He shut the roof door closed and looked over his instruments to make sure nothing was severed, broken or otherwise. Surprisingly, everything seemed to be just as he left it and he set out to leave. He lifted his hand to...wait.
Several rat-a-tat taps came from his left and he turned. Bending down his head to peek in through the long rectangular window, the ghastly faced man smiled cheekily at Batman and shook something in front of his face. It was a thick odd-looking piece of metal, which Batman immediately recognized as the Tumbler's starter key. Shit.
It took him mere moments to once again slide the roof door open and stand up. This man was unbelievably irritating, such as when Batman got out and charged, the other one did very little to protest. In fact, he didn't even run or show panic or fear of any kind. He didn't appear intimidated by his presence at all. He just took a few awkward steps back, putting his hands behind him and licked his lips, smiling. When Batman got closer he noticed for the first time the shocking damage that was done to the other man's face. As if he had taken a knife and sliced one cheek and sawed the other. What had happened to him?
Didn't matter, it was irrelevant.
Batman reached the purple dressed man in the white face paint and tried to grab for the key. But, that proved to be easier said than done. The other one was making it extremely difficult for him and quite evidently refused to cooperate. Everytime Batman shot out a hand to grab at the other's gloved one, he would tilt his body away, moving the key to the other hand and laughed. Batman grew enraged when he realized the other man was treating this as if it were a game. He kept staring at him with a childlike fascination.
After a few more frustrating misses Batman eventually got the purple clad arms controlled behind his back. The man wiggled but not enough to try and get away as Batman held together the thin wrists with one hand and grabbed the key with the other. Got it.
The painted faced man's eyes sparkled alive and a pink tongue swept lavishly over his bottom lip. "Ahhh. Don't mind if I do." He lunged his head forward and planted his lips hard against the Batman's.
Batman's mind went blank and he froze, eyes wide with shock. He couldn't fathom what was happening to him as the other one licked across his teeth then sucked on his bottom lip, every once in a while biting down. He started to take over and rubbed himself in a vulgar fashion against the Batman's armor and groin, moaning into his mouth unabashedly. He slid his purple gloves out of the vigilante's grip and after a quick once-over began to fiddle with the Bat's belt. He then purred happily and pulled his lips away, staring into Batman's stunned and bloodshot eyes. "Mmmm, thanks for the oh-so friendly welcome to this fine, fair city." He said, his voice low and rough.
The world snapped back into motion. Batman blinked and in the next instant pushed the man away with as much strength as he could muster, wiped his lips and turned, speed-walking back to his vehicle. The man in the poorly done face paint had fallen to the floor from the shove and merrily laughed about it. He watched as Batman haphazardly cleaned off his windshields, get back into the Tumbler and close the top one last time. He picked himself up and whistled at him.
Batman wanted so desperately to ignore him and just go home for a night cape and pass out on the bed to forget this ever happened. But, unfortunately he was struck dumb at the moment and turned toward the sound. He saw the purple man wiggle his fingers at him and mouth the words see you soon, before winking and running into the darkness. He prayed to God that was the last time he'd see that demented freak.
When he started the Batmobile up the speakers blasted at an ear-bleeding volume the song The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down, nearly giving Batman a stroke. When he finally found the power switch to turn it off, he couldn't hear the rumble of the engine anymore. Just a constant, annoying ringing sound. How in the hell that guy was able to reformat the car to be able to play a song, let alone a specific tune when he himself wasn't able to figure that out yet was so beyond his understanding, it gave him a pounding headache when it passed through his mind momentarily.
Batman squeezed the sides of his head then let go, putting the car into 1st gear and headed home. He didn't care if half the city blew up he was done for tonight.
* * * * *
He turned the engine off and waited for the roof door to fully open then climbed out of the car. He was dead tired and he didn't know why. Bruce peeled the cowl off his face gently, for the sticky remnants seemed to have glued his face to the rubber. His skin pulled, but it didn't hurt. Too much. He started taking off the rest of the armor on his arms and chest, shuffling across the floor. He sighed through his nose as he undid his belt, and noticed out of the corner of his eye something flutter to the ground. He bent down to pick it up and saw it was a Joker playing card. Cold water couldn't have woken him up better. He ran to the Batmobile and removed the plastic evidence bag with the Joker card inside that Gordan had given him a few hours earlier and compared it to the new card he now held in his hand. Minus the character on the front having a slightly different pose than the other the cards looked like they came from the same deck.
"That man," Bruce whispered to himself. Was he the same guy that Gordan was telling him about? The armed robbery, double homicide one? But, other than vandalizing the Tumbler with soft serve and being extremely forward with myself, he seemed quite harmless. The again, looks can be deceiving...
Bruce shook his head. "No." He stated aloud and continued to undress. "I'm jumping the gun here. He's a harmless, terribly confused, scarred man whose probably starving for attention and was a little too curious about the Batman for his own good. He most likely put that card in my belt to see if I'd come after him. Well, I hate to burst his bubble but I don't hunt down the thrill-seekers. He'll just have to live with the fact that tonight will be the last time we meet, that's all."
Bruce paused and frowned. "Why am I talking to myself?" He shrugged not really caring and took off the last pieces in silence.
* * * * *
That night Bruce dreamed. He dreamt of a dark room. In the middle of the room there was a large iron box with thick heavy chains around it with formidable locks holding them tightly in place. A inch thick of dust lay all around it's forgotten form. Suddenly, the box quivers. Then shakes. A rapidly growing light pierces through every crack as the box moves violently against the restraints. Pounding is heard coming from within, and soon the strain becomes too much for the padlocks and they begin to bend as the lid bangs open again and again, each time letting more light out. Finally the locks break with a snap, flying in all directions. The chains clatter heavily to the floor and the lid pops open to reveal a Jack-in-the-box clown head with a ghastly face on top of a spring, swaying from one side to another. It's shrieking laughter reverberates off the walls as the light drowns out the darkness until everything is burning white.
When Bruce awakens the next morning, the dream is lost and forgotten.
((A/N: Okay, believe it or not but that sherbet I mentioned earlier is real. I'm not kidding. I found it by accident when trying to look for a picture of Tutty-Fruity, or however the hell you spell it. I originally was going to do vanilla, then thought about it and realized that was way too plain. So when I couldn't find Tutty-Fruity -or whatever- I looked up a list of other ice cream flavors to see how it's spelled, when I came across Rock 'n Pop. I, belly-laughed. When I read the screwed up description about it to my mother, she agreed it fit him perfectly. As if it was made for him. Who knows? Maybe it was...>83))