Team Knight- Round 5- Fic: Mr. Mxyzptlk's Wild Ride
Title: Mr. Mxyzptlk's Wild Ride
Author: PhoenixJustice
Prompt: "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."- Oscar Wilde
Word Count: 3723
Pairings: Batman/Joker
Disclaimer: TDK, Batman, and all related products belong to DC. I only own this story and make no profit from this. The Blue Note and The Black Top are also creations of mine. =P
Rating: T/PG-13
Warnings: Post-TDK, Body Switching, Mr. Mxyzptlk mischief, dimensional traveling, mentions of Smallville (the show), DW reference, etc
Summary: Bored out of his skull in the Fifth Dimension, Mr. Mxyzptlk decides to do a little time-traveling another dimension he had yet to visit. Mischief ensues.
A/N: I WAS going to do this for the previous prompt, but my comp happened to crap out a few days prior, and then the mutual laptop we all use lost it's internet, which we got back RIGHT after the deadline ended. >_>
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Sigh. "It's time to do something. I can't stannndddd it anymore!" He circles around rapidly in the air. Mr. Mxyzptlk was bored. Very bored. He couldn't take another few thousand years of doing nothing. He was losing his mind in this place!
"Yes, but..." he says to himself, pondering as he floats around the air aimlessly, nothing on either side of him except for white. "It'd be boring to go to Earth-Two or something again. What I need is a...change. Yes! That's it! A change! Change is always exciting...I need to go somewhere I haven't yet!"
Excited, he zooms forward, making a literal hole shaped like his body as he passes through the white ahead of him, which immediately closes back up.
He passes through the worlds he had already visited (which was numerous) making sure that nothing extra exciting was happening--you could never be too sure, and he didn't want to miss out on anything. That'd make him feel even worse.
Finally, passing through those, he finds a cluster of worlds he had yet to see. One in particular catches his eye and he passes through the barrier that seperated dimensions as easily as a knife going through butter, eager to see what he could find.
Geez. The place was dark.
It was another version of Gotham city obviously, and pretty much every incarnation of Gotham, in anytime and dimension was dark. There was this grip on the city that had been there for as long as he could remember in the time he started visiting the city.
Still! There were always interesting things to come across! One world had Batman fighting Dracula and becoming a vampire himself, one had Batman as a commissioner of Gotham himself, another had Batman being the bad guy and The Joker being the good guy!
Hmm....aha! He knew just what he was going to do! It'd certainly bring some entertainment!
He flies off, giggling.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"...Boss. Hey, you might want to see this. It's some pretty crazy shit."
His eyes open, blinking rapidly as he looks blearily up, sitting up. A face starts to become clearer in his vision; blonde hair, light eyes and white suit. All of it was familiar to him. He was--
He quickly sits up. "What the hell are you doing here?! How did you get here?!"
The blond man frowns at him, hands in his pocket as he takes a step forward.
"What's the matt--" He takes another step forward.
"Stay back, Frost." he rasps, sleep having perhaps dulled his senses down more than he expected. He finally starts to take a look around and frowns. It was an unfamiliar room. It was quite bare, with nothing more than a mattress and bed springs in the room, as well as a pile of clothes on the floor, a small little nightstand that had something lying on the top of it.
"Where the hell did you take me? How did you--?"
He stills. That voice. He knew that voice anywhere. That voice taunted him at nighttime and haunted him in the daytime.
"Jackie?"
He moves a hesitant hand to touch the side of his face. His eyes widen.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
After making the man--Jonny Frost--leave the room, which he did, not looking as confused as he would have thought. Then again the man was probably used to antics from.... He sits there for a very long moment. Trying to absorb what was impossible, but which was...true? He even pinches himself to make sure. There was no doubt about it. But it was impossible. What in the hell had happened? As much as his nemesis had done, he knew that there was no way he had access to this sort of...whatever the hell made this happen. How could he be here? ...and if he was here, then where was--?
His head felt like a jumbled mess and he wondered if this was what the Joker dealt with everyday.
His eyes widen.
Wait...if he was here, somehow, impossibly so, then...
...where was The Joker?
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
After a long debate in his head about what to do, and really, just trying to clear up the confusion going on in his head, he pulls himself out of bed and stands. ...and realizes that he's naked. Knowing your enemy slept in the buff was something he really didn't need to know about. His eyes inadvertently look down.
...no, he did not blush!
He pulls on the familiar, but unfamiliar clothing. He had seen them dozens, beyond dozends of times, but he had never actually worn them before. The situation was so surreal and out there, that, as he steps out of the room, he finds himself laughing loudly, unable to compute the situation any other way.
Hearing the Joker's laughter coming from his mouth makes him shiver.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"...This is Vicky Vale with Gotham Reports. Bruce Wayne, well-known playboy billionaire, has been having a field-day, by the looks of it. We have reports of him being seen with no less than five different women and three different men! Who knew Wayne liked to play both sides of the fence, huh? He was last seen with a blonde woman at The Blue Note a couple of hours ago, but he hasn't been seen since then. Perhaps he is living up to his reputation...? Ha ha..."
...Oh, he was so going to kill the Joker.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Now the question was...where was The Joker? He had to find him--and soon. The madman must somehow be involved with what was going on. Or at least, that's what he told himself. Half-hysterical thoughts formed in his brain and he wondered if that had anything to do with wearing the skin of his greatest enemy. If he could only get to the Joker, then everything would get righted...
right?!
"So uh, ready to go Boss?"
He glances over at Jonny Frost, who stood in the doorway of the derelict building, arms crossed, leaning against the doorway.
"I'm not your boss," Bruce mutters. Hearing the Joker's voice coming from his mouth, well the mouth he was currently borrowing, was rather unsettling.
"Yeah, I got that," replied Jonny, straightening up. "But you're going to look for Jack and I'm probably the best person to help you find him."
He doesn't reply to that; they both knew it was true. The man was more than a mere lackey to the Joker, from all accounts, they seemed to be...friends. Which in the Joker's world, was more than a big thing. He had lackies, he killed lackies, he had acquaintances, he killed acquaintances (which might explain the whole no real friend thing...) but he had no friends. It made the whole situation even more unsettling, to find that his nemesis was human, underneath all that madness and makeup.
He pushes past the criminal, turning back to look at him, gloved hands in his coat pocket. Feeling for one strange moment, unlike himself, he closes his eyes, wondering if this close to edge of something feeling was what the Joker felt all the time.
"Let's go Jonny-Jonny."
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Vicky Vale, from Gotham Reports, reporting once again on the whereabouts of Bruce Wayne. He was reported over at East Gotham Hospital about an hour ago, reading books to sick children. That isn't exactly exciting news, but the fact that he was spotted wearing a nurse's uniform, complete with little paper hat I might add!, is. We all know the billionaire to be a bit air-headed, vain, a ladies man (and apparently men's man too, ha ha!) but crossdressing is something new. Er...I guess it's to be expected with the rich folk? Accept their eccentries because they have so much money? ...This is Vicky Vale, continuing to bring you all Gotham's latest. Stay tuned for further developments--"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
The sound of shattering parts onto the ground was rather satisfying as he walks down the sidewalk, ignoring the exclamations of the man who was yelling for him to pay for his radio.
Goddamn Joker!
He glances over and sees Jonny attempting to stifle his laughter, and not doing a very good job at it. He sighs. Things weren't going his way. Here he was, waking up in a strange place, naked, in the body of his enemy, his name dragged through the mud, and getting laughed at.
Oh he was so kicking the Joker's ass as soon as he saw him. Wait. Then he'd be kicking his own ass. ...Better to wait until he had his body back. Which he would get back! ...Somehow.
"You know if I shank you, I can blame it on the Joker." Bruce says miffed, kicking a rock out of the way.
Jonny lets go, not even attempting to try and not laugh. "Shank me. Jesus--" He continues to snicker as they turn around a corner, approaching a seedy looking bar. And Bruce would never admit that he was grinning as well.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Vicky Vale, with Gotham Reports, once more bringing you the news you want to hear! No new news on Bruce Wayne as of yet, but there is an intriguing bit on the Batman. You know, themaskedvigilantewhoissupposedtobearrestedonsightyetthepoliceforcehadaspotlighttosummonhimandnowtheydoagain...ahem. Anyway. I have just been faxed a picture which my source got from Gotham PD. It's quite clearly the caped crusader. He has on bunny ears and has signed the picture 'Bun-Bun'. Can anyone say 'Arkham Asylum'? The time in a padded cell would probably do you some good, Batman--"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
If he threw knives into all of The Black Top's televisions...he could get away with it, right? Everyone looking at him thought he was the Joker, after all.
He watches as Jonny steps up to the bar, leaning on it as he beckons the bartender over. He looks around, feigning disinterest, noticing a few men towards the back of the room, near the part where a cloth barrier seperated the main room and the room where he knew dealings went on, looking rather pale as they noticed him. It was possible there was stuff going on now, but there was no way he could do anything about it now. Not for the Joker's sake, definitely not, but for his own. Not with the way his mindset was. It was as if the craziness of the man was slowly seeping into him.
Jonny not so discretly puts down a few large bills on the bar, and leans forward as the bartender starts to speak. Too quiet for him to hear. If he had been in his actual body, then it wouldn't be as much of a problem. But apparently he had the Joker's hearing and such as well, which, although it was really good, the man didn't have the training that he did. The man's body was a lot different than his, after all...
He stills, all of a sudden remembering the sight of it. Lithe, and littered with scars here and there, yet not as many as he would have expected (if he admitted to himself that he wondered what his nemesis looked like underneath the clothes and the makeup.) Skin that was not as pale as believed, as the makeup would make it seem. He hadn't yet seen the man's face without makeup (Jonny had applied it to his face, with an ease that made Bruce believe that he had done it before for the Joker) but he wondered. Although the man's scars went across his face quite a ways, he didn't think that the man underneath the makeup (the "mask" underneath the real person, the Joker would probably say) would probably look as bad as people would expect. Why he thought so, he had no clue.
He groans inwardly, disgusted with himself. He was having those kinds of thoughts about the man who had a part in Rachel's death and the disfiguration and breakdown of Harvey Dent, who also liked to call himself Two-Face these days. It had been a big blow to the people at the reveal of Harvey and what he had become. Not to the extent that the Joker had forseen, but still bad enough. Crime had tripled within a short time and he had been busier than he ever had to try and keep it in check, falling asleep practically anywhere in the daytime, not just at meetings, he was just thankful that the people around him assumed it was lack of sleep from parties and the like and not the true cause.
Well...he was only having these thoughts because of the body switch. That was the only reason.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Vicky Vale with Gotham Reports, bringing you the news that you want. The Joker, madman clown extrodinaire, was apparently spotted on Main Street, strolling down it as if he hadn't a care in the world. He did absolutely nothing to anyone, except for smashing an old man's radio, and that's it! No mugging, knifing, gunning or anything! It boggles the mind. In other news, Bruce Wayne has been reported to have finally settled down at his house, toworkoffthealcoholIimagine, and Batman, sans bunny ears was reported to be seen by a few people over by the Narrows, but both cases are unconfirmed as of yet. Stay tuned for more. This is Vicky Val--"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
The television in front of him comes crashing to the floor with a loud breaking sound, glass and other bits flying everywhere.
"Well maybe I didn't want to wear the ears anymore." he mutters. "They clash with the suit."
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
He looks up from where he had been looking outside and his, well not his, eyes take in a strange sight. It was a small looking man, grey hair, little hat, colorful little clothes, with his legs crossed.
And he was floating in midair.
"So. Have enough fun with playing around as Batman and doing those interesting things with his body?"
Hey, you couldn't blame him. He just had to see how Brucie test-drove on his own.
He grins.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"So you're positive this is where he went?" he rasps in Joker's voice, hands in pockets as he looks up at the man walking next to him. Jonny glances at him briefly, nodding.
"Positive, boss. He's never let me or Jackie down when information is down."
They stop in front of a derelict building, which wasn't that farfetched, considering they were deep into the Narrows. It looked like pretty much all the buildings around it, but Jonny had looked very sure he was going in the right direction. And Bruce had no choice but to believe him. A criminal he might be, but Bruce also knew that Jonny Frost wouldn't backstab him. He knew, not because he was currently in the man's boss' skin but because his boss wouldn't like it. It was one of those cases where the Joker's strange obsession actually worked in his favor.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
They step inside and Bruce darts around a large hole in the floor to his right. They come to a rickedy set of stairs, with Frost in the lead. And with Bruce looking around as they do. While he didn't think that Frost would backstab him, there were people that were after the Joker after all, and he was stuck in the man's body. He plays around with a knife in his coat pocket, belatedly realizing that the Joker did the same thing. Well...it certainly would keep anyone who saw him, from doubting who he was. (Well he wasn't, but they didn't need to know that.)
They finally come to a doorway, which Frost opens, gesturing for Bruce to step in first. After a long look at the man, he nods to himself and walks forward.
His eyes widen at the sight.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
The Joker's, the real one, who was in his body (but damn was it confusing) eyes widen as well.
"Ahh..." drawled Joker in his voice, which was also very strange to him, eyes lighting up. "There you are. I have to say...when I woke up and found I was in this fine body..." he smiles, running a hand down himself, well, Bruce's self.
"What did you do, Joker?" asked Bruce disgustedly.
Joker takes a step forward, beckoning Bruce forward with a hand. "Mmm...not too much. Not much of anything that I wanted to do. But I let you keep your little reputation--"
"You dressed up like a nurse and sent a picture of Batman with floppy ears to Gotham PD," Bruce said flatly.
Joker waves his hands around wildly. "But did I blow up anything? Kill anyone? Mug a little ol' granny? No! I did that for you, Brucie."
Bruce glares at him. "I didn't ask for your help."
He then remembers the other odd thing in the room and turns to the little man who was currently floating in the middle of the air on his stomach, legs kicked up. He didn't let any surprise show on his face, but his mind was boggling.
"Ah! I can see you wondering who I am, " the little imp said. "Mr. Mxyzptlk is my name. Try saying that three times fast--just don't say it backwards!"
"Why?" Jonny finally pipes up. "Wouldn't it be like Kltp--"
The little man waves a hand, slamming the door shut in front of Jonny.
"Now--Mr. Napier here says your done with this," he waves a hand at them, whining slightly. "But I was just starting to have fun in this world. I mean did you know that Superman is just starting`over at the Daily Planet and hasn't even put on any tights yet? And his secret crushes, which he denies to himself and everyone else, on Luthor and Queen!!" The little man cackles. "I'm going to rub it in Earth-0 Superman's face!"
He starts to take off out the window.
"Wait!" exclaim both Joker and Bruce.
The little imp halts in the middle of the window frame. "Oh, right right." He waves an arm and suddenly Bruce felt a large pressure and closes his eyes tightly. When he blinks them open, he sees the Joker standing in front of him. He looks down, and sees that he was back in his own body. His gauntleted arms clench into fists and it felt good. Damn good.
He could see the Joker pouting. "I wanted to kiss you while I was wearing the batsuit."
His brows raise.
The little man, Mr. Mxyzptlk, looks over them both, still cackling with laughter, holding his sides at what appeared to be an inside joke, before abruptly straightening up.
"Heyyyy, you should lend me a bit of your power for awhile." said Joker suddenly. "Only a SMALL bit. I can do some fun things. You said you liked those..."
Mr Mxyzptlk looks at him. "I'm not falling for that again.**"
Joker raises a brow. "Huh?"
The little imp disappears.
Joker turns to Bruce, who turns from the window to look at his enemy. Joker frowns at the caped crusader's look.
"What?" he asks, annoyed. He didn't like frowning. He wanted something to smile about.
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." Bruce pauses, then stalks over, "Fuck it," yanking the Joker over at kissing him hard.
In the background a knob could be heard being yanked on and turned.
"Guys--a little help here?"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"--but I saw it! This is Vicky Vale, Gotham Reports bringing you the latest--no I need that microphone! What? I am not crazy! I saw a little man fly out a window and into the air. What? No I don't think I need to go to Arkham for some "recuperation!"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
He flies through the dimension, still chortling, ready to rub all the information he learned into Superman's face. It would be great.
"Hey! Hey you!"
He doesn't notice a large blue box spinning past him.
"That was Mr. Mxyzptlk! In person!" he said giddily, holding onto the TARDIS' door.
There was a long-suffering sigh in the background.
"I'm absolutely naked right behind you and that's what excites you." Another sigh. "Doctor."
He turns back to The Master, grinning widely. "Alons-y!"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
** = A reference to Emporer Joker, where the Joker manages to get Mr. Mxyzptlk's powers and literally rules the universe. Though he gets stopped in the end by Superman. The Joker could not end the world, Superman points out, because no matter what he did, he could not get rid of the Batman, and the Joker defined his existance by Batman. No Batman, no Joker. (There is also a cool page where it shows Batman larger than life in the background, apart of the stars. =P)
A/N: Whew! Finally finished! This fic was originally going to be posted for the last round, but I missed the deadline because my comp crapped out on me and then some. X_x Oh well! I think this turned out good. I like how it turned out anyway. =D
Now it's time for sleep! (as I'm writing this, it's like 4 in the morning. Posting will come later, after I get some sleep lol.)
I hope you enjoyed this!
Let me know what you thought!!
--PhoenixJustice