Secret Santa Fic Prompt 17: Cont. 5
Title: And Cassandra Makes Three [parts 19-25/27]
Author: greedyslayer
Prompt/Summary: 17. I'd like to read a fic in which Bruce and Joker make up a real family, without losing too much of their canon (Nolanverse) personalities. Rating, lenght, and everyhting else is trusted to the writer's imagination./An earthquake either brings new rules to Gotham, or completely breaks them; it definitely brings a would-be child assassin into Joker and Batman's own little world. (told through loosely connected/chronological drabbles/vigenettes)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: everything
Time: Post-TDK
Notes: Nolanverse mixed with comics elements, in the use of the No Man's Land Storyline (of all things, a huge earthquake devastates Gotham City, and their national government essentially abandons them and puts them under quarantine) and the character of Cassandra Cain, the 2nd Batgirl succeeding Barbara Gordon (though for this story, she's the first). [more detailed info summary links: Cassandra Cain
, No Man's Land ] In part 19, the appparent oc is loosely based on some character I saw in a Batman comic by Darwyn Cooke. And these have been pre-written for a little while pending self-edit, so that's why there are rapid updates.
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Batman or Joker and their playground.
Parts 1-5
Parts 6-8
Parts 9-12
Part 13
Parts 14-18
A lot of thanks for all the comments, and again, amandasaitou, I hope you enjoy this next batch.
19
"Two-Face won't appreciate you stealing his psychosis." The Joker eyed Batsy banging his head against the opposite pillar he was tied to (he really did love his Straight Man).
"This is the highest form of flattery," breathed the woman in a giddy voice, flipping over the painstakingly dyed black and white hair, and showing off the still raw 'X' she had carved across her right eye in front of the two when they had finally woken up. "He's gonna love this, the both of you here--"
"If the coin says so, sure," and the Joker tilted his head as far as he could from where he was tied, admiring the newbie's self-mutilation; and now Batman eyed him with interest, boring his eyes into the back of that freshly died mop of green locks. "But that won't be enough, Missus X--I've got word straight from an eyewitness that Mr. Dent and Ms. Montoya have shacked up; they've got a breakfast nook all picked out and everything--"
"Gag him!" She spat to one of her men, back facing them both and her shoulders shaking, so at least the head honcho failed to see the grin widen marginally on the clown's face, or the roll of Batman's eyes.
Purr-fect, just what I need, come closer--everyone snapped their attention to the ceiling as the section of glass roof came crashing down, a child-sized bat raining down on a pair of guards.
"Holy plot twists, Batman! It's Batgirl!" This time when Bruce banged his head against the pillar, the clown cackled.
20
"Quinzel's similar to that Two-Face stalker we tangled with."
"Now Guanoman, you heard Harvey, and I believed him; he hadn't even seen the girl before."
Bruce fumed beneath knowing green eyes.
21
"Batman, ya home?" Asked the Joker as he pushed the cell door open with his free hand, the other occupied with a bag of fresh new candles, Cassandra at his side carrying another bag, this time with warmer clothing for the upcoming winter.
The clown slammed the bag down on the desk, and Cassandra blinked:
There was Two-Face gagged and securely tied up on the bed, and the Knight hovering over him with pilfered scarred coin in hand, both sets of eyes set on the girl and the clown now.
"What the hell is--damn it, nothing happened between me and Harley! Or even Poison Fuckin' Ivy for that matter, you paranoid delusional fur ball!"
Batman opened his mouth, but Joker interrupted with, "And you Harvey, what about Montoya!?"
"I'm interrogating him--" and Bruce immediately knew that was the wrong thing to say as that particular emphasized word left his mouth.
"That's what we used to do!" Joker's hands were clawed and gesturing wildly, at times even pulling at his hair.
Meanwhile, Dent's eyes were flicking back and forth between the two, finally resting on Cassandra, who just shrugged. (She had already set the clothing bag by the door.) Then the clown took the girl's shoulder and marched her out the room.
"I'm taking the kid to Pam's--" (really just another room in the Asylum)
Dent's eyes widened as Batman followed the mobile pair, "You don't have to--"
"It's either that or I stuff her in the closet down the hall while you and I have a talk." He shot a filthy glare over his shoulder. "I'll be back."
Then they were gone, and Batman slammed Dent's coin on the desk next to the bag of candles. For his part, Dent really wished he could express his even more fervent desire to get the hell out of here, thinly veiled by a cliched, "Do you guys want to be alone?..." Nothing like domestic affairs to make everything worse.
22
Pam had played whale music on an old cassette player to drown out all the noise of the bed being worked over above, so as Cassandra could sleep undisturbed besides a drooling and snoring Harley (and really, for a little bit of Pam's own peace of mind).
In the morning, Ivy stiffened, surprised that Dent was still here; with the way the Joker talked as he left Cass with her, she thought he would've been expelled from Arkham already. But then she saw how he seemed to walk, listless and everything, as if he had not slept a wink, and her curiosity got the better of her.
"Coffee, Dent?" The mutilated face turned to her, and just as listlessly accepted, entering through the open Orchard door (construction of an actual greenhouse structure around the place was coming along nicely, would definitely be in time for winter) and sitting across from her on one of the many tables situated among the vegetation.
Ivy idly sipped at her mug, and he gulped down his.
Awkward silences tended to nurture equally awkward and misguided groping toward conversation, so Ivy breathed, "Pretty noisy last night, huh?"
Dent laid his head flat on the table, and Ivy choked in the middle of her last sip, spluttering and spilling small puddles of coffee all over.
"They did it in front of you?..."
Muffled against the plastic table, Dent grumbled, "When will the coin finally let me kill both of them?..." (At least the Joker had returned his coin, and Harvey was glad to have it back, no matter what the pair did with it last night…)
23
Slamming the last thug's face into the wall, Batman allowed the tension to drip away from his coiled muscles as his eyes fell on the piece of jewelry. Batgirl bounced a plush pumpkin jack-o-lantern a bit (the fight had spilled into a third-of-the-way ruined Halloween store) before noticing her dark friend avidly looking at something. She went to his side, and tried to peek over his elbow to see what he had in his gloves--but then he showed her, and asked in his non-growly voice (or his 10-pack-a-day voice as Joker put it, and in the same breathe wondering how pretending to be a serious smoker is supposed to scare the lesser criminal), "Do you think he'll like this?" Cass took one look at the jewelry, and nodded her approval.
When they returned, dinner wasn't ready yet, Joker said an argument with the Queen Vegetable (i.e. Ivy) had distracted him from the time.
"Batsy, cut the veggies while I get the water boiling." And as for Cass, the clown just sent her to watch their small tv set or read a book or play or something.
The Joker purred eagerly, smirking as the Knight pressed particularly close to his back, humming when his large hands went around his throat--his brows furrowed at the touch of cold metal slithering around his neck. When it abruptly tightened enough to be comparable to a hangman's noose, cutting off a little air and making his head go dizzy, the Joker's smile grew and he leaned into the touch. Then just as quickly, the noose loosened (but only a little) and the clown was left with a new silver chain of a necklace wrapped around his throat, left fingering the matching silver bat-shaped pendant, and breathing a content sigh.
Batman went to cutting the vegetables, and after another minute of fingering the gift, the clown leaned over and teased, "What, no 'Property of Bruce Wayne' engraved on the back?..."
"It would be a different name," was all the Knight allowed, and the clown giggled appreciatively; how sweet, Batsy trying to make him laugh.
24
Batman had been patrolling, and hadn't necessarily meant for his eyes to wander to one of Arkham's glowing windows, but all the same, there was a strange relief at seeing Harley and Ivy together in bed.
"Such a pervert," the Joker suddenly whispered in his ear, and with a growl that was only a little enraged, he grabbed the clown and shoved him against the surface of the roof, expected guffawing banging around in his ears all the while. He stretched the clown's curiously limp arms up across the roof and above his green head, encircling his wrists, everything lithe about him. Biting Joker's lip, making both their eyes burn, Batman only pulled away when he heard the wind whip another cape in the air.
Cassandra stared at the entangled pair, and even with no eye holes to show it, and with those eye-horror stitches, she still looked on innocently.
"You had Cassandra, and you--"
"Hey now, you jumped me."
Batman sighed, leaning his head against the pavement over the clown's shoulder, and stiffened when Joker patted him on the back earnestly, almost with the air of camaraderie.
25
Cassandra watched her friends intensely.
Batman and Joker had been furiously pelting each other with snowballs for the past five minutes.
When Cassandra tried to make her own, it kept collapsing; the clown noticed, and walked over--though Batman was still very focused and nailed him with three more snowballs in rapid succession before realizing no one was throwing back and retreating almost sheepishly. As the Joker showed her how to gather enough and properly ball it up, she wiped some of the snow off his hair, his face, his scarf, his jacket--everywhere, really.
"Arms not sticking up anymore," observed the Knight as he drew closer, crunching footsteps in the shining white.
"Too Christmas Story, I realize that now," muttered the clown. Before they had piled into the snow, Ivy had been running checks over the greenhouse with Harley and nitpicking over the Orchard's protection from the season, while Joker had methodically wrapped the girl in all the clothing she and he had scavenged. The end result was Batman's mouth twitching at the way Cass' arms sprung up level to her shoulders and would not stay down no matter how hard the Joker pushed them down. So, he had taken a couple layers off.
"Ok, throw it like a batarang now--"
After their three-way snowball duel, the Joker flopped down, moving his arms and legs, showing Cass how to make an imprint of "a figment of religious druggies' imagination" in the snow. Then continuing the wintery aesthetic theme, they piled up a large snow clump, a medium sized one, and a smaller one, Batsy even helping with this creation, having abstained from the snow angels.
"Pity Pam would sooner bite my head off than lend us a carrot," mourned the clown in a dramatic flair as his finger circled the center of the snowball head. Then he told Cass to find rocks and use them for the nose and the buttons and the eyes while he grabbed some twigs from the firewood storage.
"Should we--"
"Brucie, these are actually reusable--after we make the guy and let him sit a while, we'll take the twigs back."
As Cass carefully stuck the rocks in a line of buttons down the torso snow clump, and two for the eyes on the head, the third for the nose below, Joker stuck a slanted twig for a frown beneath that as well. Then he stabbed in the arms and sunk two in on the top--Bat-ears--and arranged smaller twigs into glaring eyebrows above the rock eyes, and into a crooked bat symbol on the chest.
Joker spread his arms out and presented the Bat-Snowman to the Knight, though both paused in playing Art Critic when Cass stabbed a leaf through one of the wooden arms.
"Batarang," she explained with a point at the leaf.
Author: greedyslayer
Prompt/Summary: 17. I'd like to read a fic in which Bruce and Joker make up a real family, without losing too much of their canon (Nolanverse) personalities. Rating, lenght, and everyhting else is trusted to the writer's imagination./An earthquake either brings new rules to Gotham, or completely breaks them; it definitely brings a would-be child assassin into Joker and Batman's own little world. (told through loosely connected/chronological drabbles/vigenettes)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: everything
Time: Post-TDK
Notes: Nolanverse mixed with comics elements, in the use of the No Man's Land Storyline (of all things, a huge earthquake devastates Gotham City, and their national government essentially abandons them and puts them under quarantine) and the character of Cassandra Cain, the 2nd Batgirl succeeding Barbara Gordon (though for this story, she's the first). [more detailed info summary links: Cassandra Cain
, No Man's Land ] In part 19, the appparent oc is loosely based on some character I saw in a Batman comic by Darwyn Cooke. And these have been pre-written for a little while pending self-edit, so that's why there are rapid updates.
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Batman or Joker and their playground.
Parts 1-5
Parts 6-8
Parts 9-12
Part 13
Parts 14-18
A lot of thanks for all the comments, and again, amandasaitou, I hope you enjoy this next batch.
19
"Two-Face won't appreciate you stealing his psychosis." The Joker eyed Batsy banging his head against the opposite pillar he was tied to (he really did love his Straight Man).
"This is the highest form of flattery," breathed the woman in a giddy voice, flipping over the painstakingly dyed black and white hair, and showing off the still raw 'X' she had carved across her right eye in front of the two when they had finally woken up. "He's gonna love this, the both of you here--"
"If the coin says so, sure," and the Joker tilted his head as far as he could from where he was tied, admiring the newbie's self-mutilation; and now Batman eyed him with interest, boring his eyes into the back of that freshly died mop of green locks. "But that won't be enough, Missus X--I've got word straight from an eyewitness that Mr. Dent and Ms. Montoya have shacked up; they've got a breakfast nook all picked out and everything--"
"Gag him!" She spat to one of her men, back facing them both and her shoulders shaking, so at least the head honcho failed to see the grin widen marginally on the clown's face, or the roll of Batman's eyes.
Purr-fect, just what I need, come closer--everyone snapped their attention to the ceiling as the section of glass roof came crashing down, a child-sized bat raining down on a pair of guards.
"Holy plot twists, Batman! It's Batgirl!" This time when Bruce banged his head against the pillar, the clown cackled.
20
"Quinzel's similar to that Two-Face stalker we tangled with."
"Now Guanoman, you heard Harvey, and I believed him; he hadn't even seen the girl before."
Bruce fumed beneath knowing green eyes.
21
"Batman, ya home?" Asked the Joker as he pushed the cell door open with his free hand, the other occupied with a bag of fresh new candles, Cassandra at his side carrying another bag, this time with warmer clothing for the upcoming winter.
The clown slammed the bag down on the desk, and Cassandra blinked:
There was Two-Face gagged and securely tied up on the bed, and the Knight hovering over him with pilfered scarred coin in hand, both sets of eyes set on the girl and the clown now.
"What the hell is--damn it, nothing happened between me and Harley! Or even Poison Fuckin' Ivy for that matter, you paranoid delusional fur ball!"
Batman opened his mouth, but Joker interrupted with, "And you Harvey, what about Montoya!?"
"I'm interrogating him--" and Bruce immediately knew that was the wrong thing to say as that particular emphasized word left his mouth.
"That's what we used to do!" Joker's hands were clawed and gesturing wildly, at times even pulling at his hair.
Meanwhile, Dent's eyes were flicking back and forth between the two, finally resting on Cassandra, who just shrugged. (She had already set the clothing bag by the door.) Then the clown took the girl's shoulder and marched her out the room.
"I'm taking the kid to Pam's--" (really just another room in the Asylum)
Dent's eyes widened as Batman followed the mobile pair, "You don't have to--"
"It's either that or I stuff her in the closet down the hall while you and I have a talk." He shot a filthy glare over his shoulder. "I'll be back."
Then they were gone, and Batman slammed Dent's coin on the desk next to the bag of candles. For his part, Dent really wished he could express his even more fervent desire to get the hell out of here, thinly veiled by a cliched, "Do you guys want to be alone?..." Nothing like domestic affairs to make everything worse.
22
Pam had played whale music on an old cassette player to drown out all the noise of the bed being worked over above, so as Cassandra could sleep undisturbed besides a drooling and snoring Harley (and really, for a little bit of Pam's own peace of mind).
In the morning, Ivy stiffened, surprised that Dent was still here; with the way the Joker talked as he left Cass with her, she thought he would've been expelled from Arkham already. But then she saw how he seemed to walk, listless and everything, as if he had not slept a wink, and her curiosity got the better of her.
"Coffee, Dent?" The mutilated face turned to her, and just as listlessly accepted, entering through the open Orchard door (construction of an actual greenhouse structure around the place was coming along nicely, would definitely be in time for winter) and sitting across from her on one of the many tables situated among the vegetation.
Ivy idly sipped at her mug, and he gulped down his.
Awkward silences tended to nurture equally awkward and misguided groping toward conversation, so Ivy breathed, "Pretty noisy last night, huh?"
Dent laid his head flat on the table, and Ivy choked in the middle of her last sip, spluttering and spilling small puddles of coffee all over.
"They did it in front of you?..."
Muffled against the plastic table, Dent grumbled, "When will the coin finally let me kill both of them?..." (At least the Joker had returned his coin, and Harvey was glad to have it back, no matter what the pair did with it last night…)
23
Slamming the last thug's face into the wall, Batman allowed the tension to drip away from his coiled muscles as his eyes fell on the piece of jewelry. Batgirl bounced a plush pumpkin jack-o-lantern a bit (the fight had spilled into a third-of-the-way ruined Halloween store) before noticing her dark friend avidly looking at something. She went to his side, and tried to peek over his elbow to see what he had in his gloves--but then he showed her, and asked in his non-growly voice (or his 10-pack-a-day voice as Joker put it, and in the same breathe wondering how pretending to be a serious smoker is supposed to scare the lesser criminal), "Do you think he'll like this?" Cass took one look at the jewelry, and nodded her approval.
When they returned, dinner wasn't ready yet, Joker said an argument with the Queen Vegetable (i.e. Ivy) had distracted him from the time.
"Batsy, cut the veggies while I get the water boiling." And as for Cass, the clown just sent her to watch their small tv set or read a book or play or something.
The Joker purred eagerly, smirking as the Knight pressed particularly close to his back, humming when his large hands went around his throat--his brows furrowed at the touch of cold metal slithering around his neck. When it abruptly tightened enough to be comparable to a hangman's noose, cutting off a little air and making his head go dizzy, the Joker's smile grew and he leaned into the touch. Then just as quickly, the noose loosened (but only a little) and the clown was left with a new silver chain of a necklace wrapped around his throat, left fingering the matching silver bat-shaped pendant, and breathing a content sigh.
Batman went to cutting the vegetables, and after another minute of fingering the gift, the clown leaned over and teased, "What, no 'Property of Bruce Wayne' engraved on the back?..."
"It would be a different name," was all the Knight allowed, and the clown giggled appreciatively; how sweet, Batsy trying to make him laugh.
24
Batman had been patrolling, and hadn't necessarily meant for his eyes to wander to one of Arkham's glowing windows, but all the same, there was a strange relief at seeing Harley and Ivy together in bed.
"Such a pervert," the Joker suddenly whispered in his ear, and with a growl that was only a little enraged, he grabbed the clown and shoved him against the surface of the roof, expected guffawing banging around in his ears all the while. He stretched the clown's curiously limp arms up across the roof and above his green head, encircling his wrists, everything lithe about him. Biting Joker's lip, making both their eyes burn, Batman only pulled away when he heard the wind whip another cape in the air.
Cassandra stared at the entangled pair, and even with no eye holes to show it, and with those eye-horror stitches, she still looked on innocently.
"You had Cassandra, and you--"
"Hey now, you jumped me."
Batman sighed, leaning his head against the pavement over the clown's shoulder, and stiffened when Joker patted him on the back earnestly, almost with the air of camaraderie.
25
Cassandra watched her friends intensely.
Batman and Joker had been furiously pelting each other with snowballs for the past five minutes.
When Cassandra tried to make her own, it kept collapsing; the clown noticed, and walked over--though Batman was still very focused and nailed him with three more snowballs in rapid succession before realizing no one was throwing back and retreating almost sheepishly. As the Joker showed her how to gather enough and properly ball it up, she wiped some of the snow off his hair, his face, his scarf, his jacket--everywhere, really.
"Arms not sticking up anymore," observed the Knight as he drew closer, crunching footsteps in the shining white.
"Too Christmas Story, I realize that now," muttered the clown. Before they had piled into the snow, Ivy had been running checks over the greenhouse with Harley and nitpicking over the Orchard's protection from the season, while Joker had methodically wrapped the girl in all the clothing she and he had scavenged. The end result was Batman's mouth twitching at the way Cass' arms sprung up level to her shoulders and would not stay down no matter how hard the Joker pushed them down. So, he had taken a couple layers off.
"Ok, throw it like a batarang now--"
After their three-way snowball duel, the Joker flopped down, moving his arms and legs, showing Cass how to make an imprint of "a figment of religious druggies' imagination" in the snow. Then continuing the wintery aesthetic theme, they piled up a large snow clump, a medium sized one, and a smaller one, Batsy even helping with this creation, having abstained from the snow angels.
"Pity Pam would sooner bite my head off than lend us a carrot," mourned the clown in a dramatic flair as his finger circled the center of the snowball head. Then he told Cass to find rocks and use them for the nose and the buttons and the eyes while he grabbed some twigs from the firewood storage.
"Should we--"
"Brucie, these are actually reusable--after we make the guy and let him sit a while, we'll take the twigs back."
As Cass carefully stuck the rocks in a line of buttons down the torso snow clump, and two for the eyes on the head, the third for the nose below, Joker stuck a slanted twig for a frown beneath that as well. Then he stabbed in the arms and sunk two in on the top--Bat-ears--and arranged smaller twigs into glaring eyebrows above the rock eyes, and into a crooked bat symbol on the chest.
Joker spread his arms out and presented the Bat-Snowman to the Knight, though both paused in playing Art Critic when Cass stabbed a leaf through one of the wooden arms.
"Batarang," she explained with a point at the leaf.