*cough*Whores*cough*
Hey journal, it's been a while. A long while. When last I actually wrote something substantial, I don't even remember the day. A lot has happened since that when, I've mostly said fuck-off to this bag of shit. If I forgot the moment, it wasn't really meant to be remembered; this how I eventually figured it.
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred
This entry is for me to remember this day later on, because it warrants remembering. 6 months ago I was still figuring out most of my shit. These day's as many others fall into the future trap, I have something of a better idea than I've ever had, and that makes me feel a slight bit better about the generalities of life. I have a plan, whether the plan's going to work out is anyone's guess, though I'm sure as hell going to try.
He was a rock, to the end, a solid reminder
Couldn't deny a friend
We lived in the noise and the sweet amber poison
Peekin' up the skirt of the end
Rob's someone I've known for a while and yet can never really get the full gist of the origin of our meeting. He's leaving soon and I'm jealous of his shit, but I know that I'm not ready for the kind of adventure he's off to pursue. Not yet anyways. Would it not be funny as hell, if the fantastical Maegellin got lost? Ironic.
Cheers Bud.
And we'd drink, two gnarly dudes and some records
Much like plates of black food
We filled up our faces, saw some far places
Stood on the roof in the nude
I made it into the reserves. Now I've another income coming in, and a whole new world of experiences and that fun whoop-hah. This is something I've spoken of doing for a while, and now that it's actually going to happen, it both scares the shit out of me and excites every living fiber in my body. To accurately describe it in english would involve making up new words. Fuck that.
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred
Current aspirations? I am going to go to college next year and take chef training. That's the goal. That's where I see myself ending up doing with my fathers hard earned and hard saved money. I figure, do something I know I can do and not waste the money. If I want to learn something at a university I can pay for that myself later. Erica's friend told her something that struck me as incredibly insightful and wise. To paraphrase, "They can take your money, but they can't take your experiences and knowledge." I don't remember exactly how it goes, but that would be the main jist of it, and I agree. Money is some shit an aristocrat made up in place of barter so he could feel like he had something worthwhile. They can't take away anything I've experienced, anything I've learned. They can only take my money. Whatever. Fuck them.
Between poles, he said "We're like cows in the grass"
Brushing off flies
Chaise lounging around, standing up, falling down
Till we no longer opened our eyes
And we'd drink, ever notice how drinking's like war?
Cup o' troops o'er the gums
To the end of our health, a campaign 'gainst myself
Armed with bourbons and scotches and rums
It's these times now I learn about so many people from past lives who've supposedly gone on to bigger/better things who're about as lost as I was 6 months ago, except they're at least $5,000 in the hole to OSAP, or other. Suckers. To think I at one point felt bad because I didn't fulfill the suburban dream of going off to university to piss away my parents money on shit I don't care about, drugs and booze.
I now piss my own money away. Quite the step up.
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred
Remember all of those kids who looked down on you when you started doing drugs and drinking? Now they're the ones who drink and do the drugs which were so evil before? I do. Yeah. Fuck you.
Think of bombs, we're poised on the edge of disaster
Whether it's right or it's wrong
We opened the window, played some Nintendo
Sang a few bars of some pretty old song:
Irene goodnight, Irene goodnight
Goodnight Irene, goodnight Irene
I'll see you in my dreams
Oh to dream, those impotent bones of extinction
Flying graceful and free
None but the best 'cause the man cannot rest
Till he's finally beaten his me
I could not have enacted as much change as I have without a certain someone to kick my ass along the way. You know who you are. Thank you.
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred
I think it's wrong that I feel older than many people I know. Wrong because it's an incredibly naive stance to take when I haven't spent any more than 2 5/6's decades alive. Routinely I'm finding new habits that I'm forming that's squaring me off at the edges, and I'm liking it. This road to adultdom is setting me into an old man while I've yet to break my teeth into the flesh of youth, or even left my hometown for that matter.
We'll all have our days in the end. And in the end, my day will be had looking in all directions asking for more salt.
Such as it is until the next urge to document.
Till the end, he passed out on the sundeck that morning
Quietly saying goodbye
But I was so hammered I sputtered and stammered
Told him he couldn't just die
He was a rock, went straight for his own Armageddon
Face froze in a grin
Ambulance flyin' in, I never drank again
Can't really call that a loss or a win
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred
---------------------------------------------
Where, was a question I once asked,
When time didn't fit a place.
Who knew it easy to pretend?
Why little boys,
That little boy,
Did in, that deed?
What reason fell through webs,
Those traps of steel mindbent oh,
Opening doors and shutting in,
He did the unspeakable task.
Unchained his imagination in the grass,
He did it,
He did it; and let this beast sit idle so.
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred
This entry is for me to remember this day later on, because it warrants remembering. 6 months ago I was still figuring out most of my shit. These day's as many others fall into the future trap, I have something of a better idea than I've ever had, and that makes me feel a slight bit better about the generalities of life. I have a plan, whether the plan's going to work out is anyone's guess, though I'm sure as hell going to try.
He was a rock, to the end, a solid reminder
Couldn't deny a friend
We lived in the noise and the sweet amber poison
Peekin' up the skirt of the end
Rob's someone I've known for a while and yet can never really get the full gist of the origin of our meeting. He's leaving soon and I'm jealous of his shit, but I know that I'm not ready for the kind of adventure he's off to pursue. Not yet anyways. Would it not be funny as hell, if the fantastical Maegellin got lost? Ironic.
Cheers Bud.
And we'd drink, two gnarly dudes and some records
Much like plates of black food
We filled up our faces, saw some far places
Stood on the roof in the nude
I made it into the reserves. Now I've another income coming in, and a whole new world of experiences and that fun whoop-hah. This is something I've spoken of doing for a while, and now that it's actually going to happen, it both scares the shit out of me and excites every living fiber in my body. To accurately describe it in english would involve making up new words. Fuck that.
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred
Current aspirations? I am going to go to college next year and take chef training. That's the goal. That's where I see myself ending up doing with my fathers hard earned and hard saved money. I figure, do something I know I can do and not waste the money. If I want to learn something at a university I can pay for that myself later. Erica's friend told her something that struck me as incredibly insightful and wise. To paraphrase, "They can take your money, but they can't take your experiences and knowledge." I don't remember exactly how it goes, but that would be the main jist of it, and I agree. Money is some shit an aristocrat made up in place of barter so he could feel like he had something worthwhile. They can't take away anything I've experienced, anything I've learned. They can only take my money. Whatever. Fuck them.
Between poles, he said "We're like cows in the grass"
Brushing off flies
Chaise lounging around, standing up, falling down
Till we no longer opened our eyes
And we'd drink, ever notice how drinking's like war?
Cup o' troops o'er the gums
To the end of our health, a campaign 'gainst myself
Armed with bourbons and scotches and rums
It's these times now I learn about so many people from past lives who've supposedly gone on to bigger/better things who're about as lost as I was 6 months ago, except they're at least $5,000 in the hole to OSAP, or other. Suckers. To think I at one point felt bad because I didn't fulfill the suburban dream of going off to university to piss away my parents money on shit I don't care about, drugs and booze.
I now piss my own money away. Quite the step up.
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred
Remember all of those kids who looked down on you when you started doing drugs and drinking? Now they're the ones who drink and do the drugs which were so evil before? I do. Yeah. Fuck you.
Think of bombs, we're poised on the edge of disaster
Whether it's right or it's wrong
We opened the window, played some Nintendo
Sang a few bars of some pretty old song:
Irene goodnight, Irene goodnight
Goodnight Irene, goodnight Irene
I'll see you in my dreams
Oh to dream, those impotent bones of extinction
Flying graceful and free
None but the best 'cause the man cannot rest
Till he's finally beaten his me
I could not have enacted as much change as I have without a certain someone to kick my ass along the way. You know who you are. Thank you.
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred
I think it's wrong that I feel older than many people I know. Wrong because it's an incredibly naive stance to take when I haven't spent any more than 2 5/6's decades alive. Routinely I'm finding new habits that I'm forming that's squaring me off at the edges, and I'm liking it. This road to adultdom is setting me into an old man while I've yet to break my teeth into the flesh of youth, or even left my hometown for that matter.
We'll all have our days in the end. And in the end, my day will be had looking in all directions asking for more salt.
Such as it is until the next urge to document.
Till the end, he passed out on the sundeck that morning
Quietly saying goodbye
But I was so hammered I sputtered and stammered
Told him he couldn't just die
He was a rock, went straight for his own Armageddon
Face froze in a grin
Ambulance flyin' in, I never drank again
Can't really call that a loss or a win
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred
---------------------------------------------
Where, was a question I once asked,
When time didn't fit a place.
Who knew it easy to pretend?
Why little boys,
That little boy,
Did in, that deed?
What reason fell through webs,
Those traps of steel mindbent oh,
Opening doors and shutting in,
He did the unspeakable task.
Unchained his imagination in the grass,
He did it,
He did it; and let this beast sit idle so.