MILATDAJD Chapters Four and Five
Hay guise,
You get 2 chapters today! RLY!!
Chapter 4
Ok so here's the deal. My name is Melanie Dent; I'm the college daughter of Gotham District Attorney Harvey Dent. I go to college. Recently Gotham has been hit by a series of crime caused by the Joker. The Joker is a clown, but he's a killer. He's a killer clown. The mafia has hired him to kill Batman because Batman is putting them behind bars. Recently the Joker has been kidnapping me to lure my dad into a trap. My dad is mad sexy. No really I want to sex him up so badly. Anyway the Joker recently kidnapped me and gave me a Glasgow smile, so now I'm ugly. But the Joker was captured, so it’s all good. Except that I’m very depressed, because my dad is dating my best friend Rachel, god I want to sex him up! And my dad thinks I’m ugly too. God I hate my life right now. That’s why I’m seeing a psychiatrist; hopefully I can find some help.
“Melanie Dent?” a nurse called out to me.
I followed her into the psychiatrist’s office.
“Why hello there,” the doctor said. She was a pretty girl.
“Hi,” I said.
“Come in to my office,” she said.
“Ok,” I said.
“My name is Cassie, I’m a doctor.”
“Nice to meet you Cassie,” I said.
“So what’s your name?”
“It’s Melanie, Melanie Dent.”
“Dear God what happened to your face?”
“The Joker cut me,” I said. “And my dad doesn’t love me anymore!” I cried.
“You know the Joker?” Cassie asked.
“Yeah, he kidnaps me all the time and it’s causing extreme emotional problems,” I said.
“I am so jealous that you know the Joker,” Cassie said.
“He’s insane,” I said. “He kills people, like there was this girl named Ebony and the Joker killed her.”
“I once had the Joker,” Cassie said. “I used to work at Arkham, the Joker used to be there. He was my patient I tried to cure him, but I couldn’t.”
“Did you cure him?” I asked.
“I couldn’t,” Cassie said.
“You’re pretty Cassie,” I said.
“Thank you, you should like totally worship me and stuff.”
“Hey what about me?” I asked.
“Honey, you’re ugly now,” Cassie said.
I began to cry.
“But don’t worry; I’ll help you, why don’t you spend the night at my house?”
“Is that weird?” I asked “Do your patients do that?”
“Of course,” Cassie said. “You can sleep in my bed.
So that night I slept over at Cassie’s
“Good night dear,” Cassie said.
“Good night,” I said.
I fell asleep. It must have been only an hour because next thing I knew Cassie was sitting on top of me painting my face.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“GET UP JOKER NOW!” Cassie shouted as she shook me hard.
“GET OFF!” I shouted, I tried to struggle.
“GET UP JOKER NOW! GET UP JOKER NOW! GET UP JOKER NOW!”
“HELP ME!” I shouted.
Just then Cassie was hit by a sledge hammer. I saw a woman holding it. It was Harley Quinn, she use to be the Joker’s doctor.
“Stay away from Mr. Jay!” she said to Cassie. “He’s my pudding and you can’t have him!”
She then took the sledge hammer and started to attack Cassie with it, she smashed her face, flatter then a pancake.
“Thank you,” I said to her.
“Don’t mention it,” Harley said. “Just stay away from my Mr. J ok?”
“He does kidnap me though,” I said. “So what’s the deal with Cassie?”
“She and I use to be the Joker’s doctors. He was so insane that they needed two of us. Anyway we both fell in love with him, but the Joker picked me and not Cassie, ever since she’s been insane.”
The door then burst open and Gordon and the police ran in. They shot Harley Quinn a total of 356 times. She died.
“Are you ok Melanie?” Gordon asked, of course he didn’t look at me.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“Well let’s get you home,” Gordon said. He walked up to me then looked away. He turned to one of the cops, “I’m sorry could you untie her?”
“Why?” an officer asked.
“I don’t want to do it,” Gordon said. “I mean look at how ugly she is, she is so hideous looking, and I don’t want to touch her I may get her disease. Uglyitis.”
“We could just leave,” the officer said.
“Ok,” Gordon said. “We weren’t here, and if anyone asks, um Harley shot herself.”
Chapter 5
Somehow I had managed to free myself and was back at my apartment. I decided to give Rachel and my dad a call to give them a piece of my mind. I called their cell phones and got the same voice mall.
“Hi I can’t take your call right now because I’m having mad sex!”
“God damnit!” I shouted throwing my phone to the ground. “Why are they having sex now? Where are they?”
I began to pace around my living room. I should be studying, but I just kept picturing my dad and Rachel going at it like horny teens. Their love making was hot; I loved watching them do it, because it is hot.
I saw something flash by my window. I walked up to it and Batman dove through the window.
“Are you ok?” I asked.
“JOKER!” Batman shouted.
“Where?” I asked. I was scared.
“JOKER!” Batman shouted again, he was pointing to me. Crap I forgot to wash off my makeup and Batman was sort of blind.
In a rage he tackled me to the ground and began to punch me in the head over and over again. He then picked me up and threw me into a kitchen cabinet.
“I’LL STOP YOU!” Batman shouted as he kept beating me up with his fists.
“I’m not the Joker,” I said. But it was no use Batman was going deaf and couldn’t hear me. He kept punching me.
I was saved by Gordon who came running to the apartment.
“Dear God Batman stop it!” Gordon said. Batman stopped. For some reason he heard Gordon but not me.
“I’M SORRY!” Batman said to me. “JOKER WASN’T HERE!”
“Um yeah we have him in prison,” Gordon said. “You helped us capture him.”
“I HAVE MEMORY PROBLEMS!”
“Maybe the cancer has spread to your brain,” Gordon said.
“I DON’T HAVE CANCER!”
“Just get it checked,” Gordon asked.
“NO! I DON’T HAVE TO BECAUSE IT’S NOT CANCER!”
Gordon ignored him and turned to me, of course he didn’t really look at me.
“Um ugly, I mean um Melanie, we can’t find your dad or Rachel.”
“WHAT?” I said.
“HEY THAT’S MY LINE!” Batman shouted.
“Sorry,” I said. “What happened to my dad and Rachel?”
“We found out that the Joker had some cops working for him,” Gordon explained. “They’ve kidnapped your dad and Rachel and we can’t find them.”
“What are we going to do?” I asked. “I love my dad; Rachel can die for all I care.”
“WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU TWO?” Batman asked.
“It’s complicated,” I said.
“TALK TO ME! I’M A GOOD LISTENER!”
“No your not,” Gordon said. “You’re going deaf.”
“WHAT?”
“Exactly.” Gordon said.
You get 2 chapters today! RLY!!
Chapter 4
Ok so here's the deal. My name is Melanie Dent; I'm the college daughter of Gotham District Attorney Harvey Dent. I go to college. Recently Gotham has been hit by a series of crime caused by the Joker. The Joker is a clown, but he's a killer. He's a killer clown. The mafia has hired him to kill Batman because Batman is putting them behind bars. Recently the Joker has been kidnapping me to lure my dad into a trap. My dad is mad sexy. No really I want to sex him up so badly. Anyway the Joker recently kidnapped me and gave me a Glasgow smile, so now I'm ugly. But the Joker was captured, so it’s all good. Except that I’m very depressed, because my dad is dating my best friend Rachel, god I want to sex him up! And my dad thinks I’m ugly too. God I hate my life right now. That’s why I’m seeing a psychiatrist; hopefully I can find some help.
“Melanie Dent?” a nurse called out to me.
I followed her into the psychiatrist’s office.
“Why hello there,” the doctor said. She was a pretty girl.
“Hi,” I said.
“Come in to my office,” she said.
“Ok,” I said.
“My name is Cassie, I’m a doctor.”
“Nice to meet you Cassie,” I said.
“So what’s your name?”
“It’s Melanie, Melanie Dent.”
“Dear God what happened to your face?”
“The Joker cut me,” I said. “And my dad doesn’t love me anymore!” I cried.
“You know the Joker?” Cassie asked.
“Yeah, he kidnaps me all the time and it’s causing extreme emotional problems,” I said.
“I am so jealous that you know the Joker,” Cassie said.
“He’s insane,” I said. “He kills people, like there was this girl named Ebony and the Joker killed her.”
“I once had the Joker,” Cassie said. “I used to work at Arkham, the Joker used to be there. He was my patient I tried to cure him, but I couldn’t.”
“Did you cure him?” I asked.
“I couldn’t,” Cassie said.
“You’re pretty Cassie,” I said.
“Thank you, you should like totally worship me and stuff.”
“Hey what about me?” I asked.
“Honey, you’re ugly now,” Cassie said.
I began to cry.
“But don’t worry; I’ll help you, why don’t you spend the night at my house?”
“Is that weird?” I asked “Do your patients do that?”
“Of course,” Cassie said. “You can sleep in my bed.
So that night I slept over at Cassie’s
“Good night dear,” Cassie said.
“Good night,” I said.
I fell asleep. It must have been only an hour because next thing I knew Cassie was sitting on top of me painting my face.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“GET UP JOKER NOW!” Cassie shouted as she shook me hard.
“GET OFF!” I shouted, I tried to struggle.
“GET UP JOKER NOW! GET UP JOKER NOW! GET UP JOKER NOW!”
“HELP ME!” I shouted.
Just then Cassie was hit by a sledge hammer. I saw a woman holding it. It was Harley Quinn, she use to be the Joker’s doctor.
“Stay away from Mr. Jay!” she said to Cassie. “He’s my pudding and you can’t have him!”
She then took the sledge hammer and started to attack Cassie with it, she smashed her face, flatter then a pancake.
“Thank you,” I said to her.
“Don’t mention it,” Harley said. “Just stay away from my Mr. J ok?”
“He does kidnap me though,” I said. “So what’s the deal with Cassie?”
“She and I use to be the Joker’s doctors. He was so insane that they needed two of us. Anyway we both fell in love with him, but the Joker picked me and not Cassie, ever since she’s been insane.”
The door then burst open and Gordon and the police ran in. They shot Harley Quinn a total of 356 times. She died.
“Are you ok Melanie?” Gordon asked, of course he didn’t look at me.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“Well let’s get you home,” Gordon said. He walked up to me then looked away. He turned to one of the cops, “I’m sorry could you untie her?”
“Why?” an officer asked.
“I don’t want to do it,” Gordon said. “I mean look at how ugly she is, she is so hideous looking, and I don’t want to touch her I may get her disease. Uglyitis.”
“We could just leave,” the officer said.
“Ok,” Gordon said. “We weren’t here, and if anyone asks, um Harley shot herself.”
Chapter 5
Somehow I had managed to free myself and was back at my apartment. I decided to give Rachel and my dad a call to give them a piece of my mind. I called their cell phones and got the same voice mall.
“Hi I can’t take your call right now because I’m having mad sex!”
“God damnit!” I shouted throwing my phone to the ground. “Why are they having sex now? Where are they?”
I began to pace around my living room. I should be studying, but I just kept picturing my dad and Rachel going at it like horny teens. Their love making was hot; I loved watching them do it, because it is hot.
I saw something flash by my window. I walked up to it and Batman dove through the window.
“Are you ok?” I asked.
“JOKER!” Batman shouted.
“Where?” I asked. I was scared.
“JOKER!” Batman shouted again, he was pointing to me. Crap I forgot to wash off my makeup and Batman was sort of blind.
In a rage he tackled me to the ground and began to punch me in the head over and over again. He then picked me up and threw me into a kitchen cabinet.
“I’LL STOP YOU!” Batman shouted as he kept beating me up with his fists.
“I’m not the Joker,” I said. But it was no use Batman was going deaf and couldn’t hear me. He kept punching me.
I was saved by Gordon who came running to the apartment.
“Dear God Batman stop it!” Gordon said. Batman stopped. For some reason he heard Gordon but not me.
“I’M SORRY!” Batman said to me. “JOKER WASN’T HERE!”
“Um yeah we have him in prison,” Gordon said. “You helped us capture him.”
“I HAVE MEMORY PROBLEMS!”
“Maybe the cancer has spread to your brain,” Gordon said.
“I DON’T HAVE CANCER!”
“Just get it checked,” Gordon asked.
“NO! I DON’T HAVE TO BECAUSE IT’S NOT CANCER!”
Gordon ignored him and turned to me, of course he didn’t really look at me.
“Um ugly, I mean um Melanie, we can’t find your dad or Rachel.”
“WHAT?” I said.
“HEY THAT’S MY LINE!” Batman shouted.
“Sorry,” I said. “What happened to my dad and Rachel?”
“We found out that the Joker had some cops working for him,” Gordon explained. “They’ve kidnapped your dad and Rachel and we can’t find them.”
“What are we going to do?” I asked. “I love my dad; Rachel can die for all I care.”
“WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU TWO?” Batman asked.
“It’s complicated,” I said.
“TALK TO ME! I’M A GOOD LISTENER!”
“No your not,” Gordon said. “You’re going deaf.”
“WHAT?”
“Exactly.” Gordon said.