self destructive
I make myself sick.
I run for comfort when I have no reasurrence around me. The last 5 months have been an everyday fight with where to find comfort, where to find love, where to find that link.I'm sorry that it had to be a drug and not a real person back then.I didn't know anybetter but to take a ride downtown, every other day.Risk my life? I'm an IDIOT, I admitt it.
I don't want to go back, I don't want to be in a hole, I don't want to be alone, I don't want to worry, or hide from you. Just take me for me, and not what you see everytime you look at my face, what I did or what it reminds you of. Im sorry.I'm sorry that I will never be anything more to you.I'm sorry for getting scared and running to the first thing that would calm me down.It didn't help, because missing you doesn't have an endorphin to kill it.You made me feel comfort, safety, understanding, you made me feel beautiful even though I can't look in the mirror right now.You made me laugh, and want to tell you amazing stories about me and everything I've seen so far. Ever since New Year's I wanted to be a better person, and I've made it so far with your help.I hope you understand me, and what I'm trying to say.I only did it because I'm not happy with me. Is it worse then drinking a bottle of alcohol by yourself? Not to me. Either one is a mistake. Both make you sick, both make you smile for the time being. I just want you to accept my appology. Please.
I run for comfort when I have no reasurrence around me. The last 5 months have been an everyday fight with where to find comfort, where to find love, where to find that link.I'm sorry that it had to be a drug and not a real person back then.I didn't know anybetter but to take a ride downtown, every other day.Risk my life? I'm an IDIOT, I admitt it.
I don't want to go back, I don't want to be in a hole, I don't want to be alone, I don't want to worry, or hide from you. Just take me for me, and not what you see everytime you look at my face, what I did or what it reminds you of. Im sorry.I'm sorry that I will never be anything more to you.I'm sorry for getting scared and running to the first thing that would calm me down.It didn't help, because missing you doesn't have an endorphin to kill it.You made me feel comfort, safety, understanding, you made me feel beautiful even though I can't look in the mirror right now.You made me laugh, and want to tell you amazing stories about me and everything I've seen so far. Ever since New Year's I wanted to be a better person, and I've made it so far with your help.I hope you understand me, and what I'm trying to say.I only did it because I'm not happy with me. Is it worse then drinking a bottle of alcohol by yourself? Not to me. Either one is a mistake. Both make you sick, both make you smile for the time being. I just want you to accept my appology. Please.