Adam...
Adam's sister has been messing a lot of things up for me. I've really been depressed the past 2 days. It feels horrible to not "be" with Adam. I mean...not that we were ever actually together..but...-sigh-...it makes me feel even worse to know that the relationship among the two siblings is so horrible. I mean, I would NEVER do something like this to my younger brother. but Adam, I love you. I really do. I know that now even more than I knew it before.
I just...this is depressing. I don't feel good. I've been having chest pains again. Mainly because I get on a natural high and have an insanely good day and then coming off of it my whole body slows down and i get really really abnormally tired and sleepy. But because I have had the most horrible past two days, there was no high. So in the afternoons, i have to lay down and just sit there because I am so weak i don't have the strength to do anything else. My heart slows down so much that every time in beats it sends an aching pain thru my whole body. It hurts. It truly does and I'm not one to be prone to thinking and actually admiting that something hurts but this..this does hurt. It hurts bad. I mean, take it from someone who's been invovled several accounts of self-mutiliation...i'm emune to pain, but this..hurts. wow. and this morning. It didn't stop hurting. So it's still hurting...-sighs- it hurts to laugh, it hurts to talk, hell it hurts to breathe.
Lyndy might be coming over this weekend. That's cool i guess. We have a lot to talk about. She needs a lot of consultance. She's had a bad week with her boyfriend. I love her. I hope she feels better soon. I love her almost as much as I love my other Lindy. *-sends Lindy an e-hug-*
I have a lot to do in this class (business computer applications). I should get going. PEACE!
*~.:Chelsi Rae:.~*
ps. adam u should listen to Autumn's Monologue...it's a great song and it's how I feel about you.