Theme 96 - Lucky
Title: Question Time
Universe: Arkham City-Verse
Genre: Humour
Characters: Harley Quinn, Edward Nigma
Rating: PG
Word Count: 500
Summary: Someone's been sneaking around the steel mill, but why? aka An ode to the Riddler's shiny green question marks.
Notes: There are no spoilers for Arkham City here and no prior knowledge is required, except for the fact that Joker 'n' Harley are hanging out in a steel mill and Riddler likes leaving little green question marks around the place for Batman to find.
***
Question Time
Harley snuck down the corridor of the steel mill offices, candy-striped baseball bat in hand and ready to introduce it the skull of whatever nosey parker had foolishly decided to trespass on Mistah J’s turf. She leapt through the doorway and adopted a suitably terrifying ninja-like pose.
“Say sayonara sucker!” she yelled, then lowered the bat with a smile of recognition. “Oh, hiya Eddie! Whataya doing sneakin’ around here?”
Edward Nigma was lying awkwardly on the floor, encased in a recently-sprung booby trap of extra-sticky silly string.
“I was doing some preparation for an ongoing Bat-confuddling project until your juvenile little security system went off,” he replied hotly. “If this suit is ruined then I’m sending Joker the bill; you know I have to get them custom made.”
Harley couldn’t imagine why green question marks weren’t this season’s hot new trend, but Eddie’s warped fashion-sense aside, she puzzled over what he’d been doing before he was interrupted - there were several drawers and cupboards left open, including one which had her secret stash of Joker’s-eyes-only undergarments.
“Hey, why exactly were you rootin’ through my unmentionables?” she demanded, blushing behind her facepaint.
Nigma went equally red, but half-sat up and gestured with his head towards a briefcase full of glowing green question mark statues.
“I’m hiding these in various impenetrable locations around Arkham City and then I’m going to force Batman to vainly attempt to find them all, watching as he fails miserably and my intellectual superiority is proven.” He studiously avoided her gaze. “The riddling potential of a pun based around Victoria’s Secret was just too good to turn down.”
“I don’t want you or Bat-brain lookin’ through my intimate things!” she protested, face screwed up in horror. “And anyway, when the flying rodent finally drops by he’s gonna be far too busy with what my Puddin’s got planned for him to bother collecting your dorky statues - so tough luck, Riddles.”
“We’ll see about that,” Nigma scoffed, struggling with the sticky goo that bound his limbs together. “Now will you just help get this wretched material off me?”
“Hrm, I dunno…” Harley murmured, pouting in thought. “I would ask Mistah J what he wants to do with you, but he’s not feelin’ too great right now and really needs his beauty sleep. He’d get all het-up about maiming you for tryin’ to distract the Bat and messing with our things, and that wouldn’t be good for his blood pressure.”
“Harley, come on now, be reasonable…” Nigma said uncertainly.
“You’re lucky, I won’t disturb Mistah J - I’ll just get a few of the boys to rough you up a bit for the trespassin’ as they throw you out.” She shrugged with a smile. “Around here you’ve got to keep up a reputation, y’know?”
She waved him goodbye as she skipped out, shaking her head at the poor sap’s clear delusions - as if the Dork Knight would really care about Eddie’s silly little statues instead of the game her Puddin’ had lined up! Loony-rific…
Fin
***
End note: Well yes, this is clearly nonsense. But the idea made me giggle. It was somewhat inspired by this comic strip and Batman's delighted face: http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2011/10/21
I'm evidently on a bit of a roll - or maybe just procrastinating from an assignment I'm supposed to be writing - it can sometimes be hard to tell...
Universe: Arkham City-Verse
Genre: Humour
Characters: Harley Quinn, Edward Nigma
Rating: PG
Word Count: 500
Summary: Someone's been sneaking around the steel mill, but why? aka An ode to the Riddler's shiny green question marks.
Notes: There are no spoilers for Arkham City here and no prior knowledge is required, except for the fact that Joker 'n' Harley are hanging out in a steel mill and Riddler likes leaving little green question marks around the place for Batman to find.
***
Question Time
Harley snuck down the corridor of the steel mill offices, candy-striped baseball bat in hand and ready to introduce it the skull of whatever nosey parker had foolishly decided to trespass on Mistah J’s turf. She leapt through the doorway and adopted a suitably terrifying ninja-like pose.
“Say sayonara sucker!” she yelled, then lowered the bat with a smile of recognition. “Oh, hiya Eddie! Whataya doing sneakin’ around here?”
Edward Nigma was lying awkwardly on the floor, encased in a recently-sprung booby trap of extra-sticky silly string.
“I was doing some preparation for an ongoing Bat-confuddling project until your juvenile little security system went off,” he replied hotly. “If this suit is ruined then I’m sending Joker the bill; you know I have to get them custom made.”
Harley couldn’t imagine why green question marks weren’t this season’s hot new trend, but Eddie’s warped fashion-sense aside, she puzzled over what he’d been doing before he was interrupted - there were several drawers and cupboards left open, including one which had her secret stash of Joker’s-eyes-only undergarments.
“Hey, why exactly were you rootin’ through my unmentionables?” she demanded, blushing behind her facepaint.
Nigma went equally red, but half-sat up and gestured with his head towards a briefcase full of glowing green question mark statues.
“I’m hiding these in various impenetrable locations around Arkham City and then I’m going to force Batman to vainly attempt to find them all, watching as he fails miserably and my intellectual superiority is proven.” He studiously avoided her gaze. “The riddling potential of a pun based around Victoria’s Secret was just too good to turn down.”
“I don’t want you or Bat-brain lookin’ through my intimate things!” she protested, face screwed up in horror. “And anyway, when the flying rodent finally drops by he’s gonna be far too busy with what my Puddin’s got planned for him to bother collecting your dorky statues - so tough luck, Riddles.”
“We’ll see about that,” Nigma scoffed, struggling with the sticky goo that bound his limbs together. “Now will you just help get this wretched material off me?”
“Hrm, I dunno…” Harley murmured, pouting in thought. “I would ask Mistah J what he wants to do with you, but he’s not feelin’ too great right now and really needs his beauty sleep. He’d get all het-up about maiming you for tryin’ to distract the Bat and messing with our things, and that wouldn’t be good for his blood pressure.”
“Harley, come on now, be reasonable…” Nigma said uncertainly.
“You’re lucky, I won’t disturb Mistah J - I’ll just get a few of the boys to rough you up a bit for the trespassin’ as they throw you out.” She shrugged with a smile. “Around here you’ve got to keep up a reputation, y’know?”
She waved him goodbye as she skipped out, shaking her head at the poor sap’s clear delusions - as if the Dork Knight would really care about Eddie’s silly little statues instead of the game her Puddin’ had lined up! Loony-rific…
Fin
***
End note: Well yes, this is clearly nonsense. But the idea made me giggle. It was somewhat inspired by this comic strip and Batman's delighted face: http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2011/10/21
I'm evidently on a bit of a roll - or maybe just procrastinating from an assignment I'm supposed to be writing - it can sometimes be hard to tell...