(no subject)
my internet has been down for three weeks and a lot has changed it seems.
victoria and i got into with chris and we're all fighting, but not so much anymore, but it's really stressful.
everything just sucks, god. it just sucks. i've finally found something i really want to do, but i don't have the academic background to get into a school where i can study marine biology. and then there is this whole list of things i want to do that i've written up, and i feel like if i don't go to college i'll never get a chance at them or be taken seriously, but do i really want to go?
ahh, and all i want is to move back to england with aleesa and start over and have substance, but there is so much here that i feel obligated to stay for, but i'm sad and lonely here.
and i hate that i never write anymore and that i'm thinking that i was never any good. i feel like my words are all wrong and it isn't coming naturally. i'm a fake. i wrote a few poems, and i think two were good, but i'm ripping off e.e. cummings, but who gives a shit. it's all fucking semantics.
if i could just go back to high school for another four years i'd have it all ready.
victoria and i got into with chris and we're all fighting, but not so much anymore, but it's really stressful.
everything just sucks, god. it just sucks. i've finally found something i really want to do, but i don't have the academic background to get into a school where i can study marine biology. and then there is this whole list of things i want to do that i've written up, and i feel like if i don't go to college i'll never get a chance at them or be taken seriously, but do i really want to go?
ahh, and all i want is to move back to england with aleesa and start over and have substance, but there is so much here that i feel obligated to stay for, but i'm sad and lonely here.
and i hate that i never write anymore and that i'm thinking that i was never any good. i feel like my words are all wrong and it isn't coming naturally. i'm a fake. i wrote a few poems, and i think two were good, but i'm ripping off e.e. cummings, but who gives a shit. it's all fucking semantics.
if i could just go back to high school for another four years i'd have it all ready.