sooo F#@%ing lonely
Hey guys, how are you? really missing everyone and regreting all i have done about you guys, if you don't understand than just nevermind. i have been waiting to talk to any of you, whom might be listening..or reading..whatever...i've been changeing but you'll never see me now...or til august 7. David you should call me...wait nevermind i'm sorry..i'm not the one who you should care for anymore....i'm sorry you're sick..i hope you feel better. i'm sorry i had tried to come between you and renee..i'm sorry...i'm really thinking of the sex change thing but i'm scared that if i do get one then the results would be dredful..you men are so lucky, maybe i'll be a born male in the next life...if sooo kill me now..please.i wish my life made more sense..i feel like i'm being swept into a corner, farther away from reality then i once was...i'm soo sick of it. thanks to a few i am now feeling like the most lonely person on the face of the earth, no love..no love at all. the BF's i had seemed like nothing, more like talk from one and a waste of time for the other...whats love without true taste, whats love when you don't understand what it is, whats love without sharing it? no offense to any, i aprreciate you david, i truley do, i wish you never gave up and fell in love, but then again it was my fault. it was, i never found a way to meet you, i made you miserable with waiting. you only had a month to wait for me but love got you first...damn. you wouldn't have regretted the waiting if you would have waited that month and got to meet me...i know its true
i was so ready. the door opened...not fully but enough to feel the freedom reveiled on the other side..then it slammed, crushing my soul, heart, and wings in all. slowly i try recovering but it seems like forever...i wish the world can read this i wish i wasn't a nobody to most humans...this is too much..it sounds rediculous, maybe it is..its 2 am so it might. -_- i hope to pull out of this and find someone to love before i make any peranent mistakes....goodnight guys
i was so ready. the door opened...not fully but enough to feel the freedom reveiled on the other side..then it slammed, crushing my soul, heart, and wings in all. slowly i try recovering but it seems like forever...i wish the world can read this i wish i wasn't a nobody to most humans...this is too much..it sounds rediculous, maybe it is..its 2 am so it might. -_- i hope to pull out of this and find someone to love before i make any peranent mistakes....goodnight guys