daily life
every day seems just like the last , effortlessly killing time til another day comes and goes
It continues like this day after day She is happy now without me and i am sad without her but i want her happiness to engulf her and maybe knowing she is happy can give me a sign that i can be also
i feel so selfish wanting her to be with me when she wasn't happy here and wanting her to make me happy as she had before but part of me knows she'll never make me happy again even if she wanted to i will only find this joy without her and only then could she ever be what i want in my life
Part of me thinks that moving on means my love wasn't complete and that moving on will diminish what i had felt for her that cannot be the case as i believe her love was at a time pure and untamed and now she can move on so also should i be able to
The other part of me wants that love to have been false and imagined so that maybe it was meant to explode and there was nothing i could have done to prevent the inevitable but i don't think i can place disbelief in the feelings i had for her it was true love but it spoiled int o something else the way a catepillar can become a butterfly our butterfly became a worm
But i'll not regret having been in that relationship never before had i seen let alone been part of a love so deep that the actual future of each mattered to both infinitely so i cannot regret having the deepest love i've ever known leave from my life nor can i place the blame away from myself i am fully aware of my faults in the end many were of mine own doing of course she was not an innocent well not completely
It continues like this day after day She is happy now without me and i am sad without her but i want her happiness to engulf her and maybe knowing she is happy can give me a sign that i can be also
i feel so selfish wanting her to be with me when she wasn't happy here and wanting her to make me happy as she had before but part of me knows she'll never make me happy again even if she wanted to i will only find this joy without her and only then could she ever be what i want in my life
Part of me thinks that moving on means my love wasn't complete and that moving on will diminish what i had felt for her that cannot be the case as i believe her love was at a time pure and untamed and now she can move on so also should i be able to
The other part of me wants that love to have been false and imagined so that maybe it was meant to explode and there was nothing i could have done to prevent the inevitable but i don't think i can place disbelief in the feelings i had for her it was true love but it spoiled int o something else the way a catepillar can become a butterfly our butterfly became a worm
But i'll not regret having been in that relationship never before had i seen let alone been part of a love so deep that the actual future of each mattered to both infinitely so i cannot regret having the deepest love i've ever known leave from my life nor can i place the blame away from myself i am fully aware of my faults in the end many were of mine own doing of course she was not an innocent well not completely