The Open Way's Too Dangerous...
Dear Ladies:
If we are on a crowded subway car and I bump into you...or if we're in the abs/stretching area of the gym and I put a mat down next to yours so I can do situps...or if we're at the bar and I gently nudge your shoulder to push you aside (and politely say "excuse me") because I need to get through....I AM NOT HITTING ON YOU!!!!
I know you're so beautiful that nobody can put eyes upon you without thinking of 101 evil, carnal things to do with you. I know we all want to marry you. God...I mean LOOK at those shoes you just bought! What man wouldn't want you? Fucking HOT! And that skirt is KILLER...it hides your office-ass quite well. But maybe...and I know I am stretching it just a tad here...MAYBE I am standing in line behind you at the Baskin Robbins because I want a waffle cone, not because I saw you standing there and I want the digits.
Believe me...if I were trying to come on to you, you'd know it. I have no game. You'd hear things from me like "HEY! Did you check out my pooper?! It can really poop!" It'd be pretty obvious.
So...in closing...I like muffins.
If we are on a crowded subway car and I bump into you...or if we're in the abs/stretching area of the gym and I put a mat down next to yours so I can do situps...or if we're at the bar and I gently nudge your shoulder to push you aside (and politely say "excuse me") because I need to get through....I AM NOT HITTING ON YOU!!!!
I know you're so beautiful that nobody can put eyes upon you without thinking of 101 evil, carnal things to do with you. I know we all want to marry you. God...I mean LOOK at those shoes you just bought! What man wouldn't want you? Fucking HOT! And that skirt is KILLER...it hides your office-ass quite well. But maybe...and I know I am stretching it just a tad here...MAYBE I am standing in line behind you at the Baskin Robbins because I want a waffle cone, not because I saw you standing there and I want the digits.
Believe me...if I were trying to come on to you, you'd know it. I have no game. You'd hear things from me like "HEY! Did you check out my pooper?! It can really poop!" It'd be pretty obvious.
So...in closing...I like muffins.