am i sane when im same
I havent written in here in a while... I really dont have much happiness to write in here anymore. Im going down hill... im sick of alot of shit.
Im tired of being alone.... Im tired of being kicked to the side... Im tired of trying... Im going insane... I wish i had a girlfriend to care about... cause caring about myself sux, mostly because i dont. Im afraid to die alone... if i die tommorrow id die unhappy. Cause id never die with something good to leave behind. except a sad corpse lol. I hate seeing people happy with couples... well i guess its not hate but envy. Cause i cant get shit. I have no "game" im to shy... and it sux. thats another enemy of mine.. myself... the fear of shut down. If it werent for music id have shit.
Im not going emo... im just dying inside. Im done with this sad, downer bullshit.
OH emo i can go about that.. haha i love knowing that people hate me... Im pretty sure alot of emo kids hate me. I love how i almost ran into maddie stolzer and i was like sorry and he was so into his image just gave this look and walked of... its like "ok", Scremo/emo kids are so Stuck in their image its sickening. I hate what they have taken and raped into something i cant stand. Me playing is me saying "FUCK EMO" i play to play against them... I thikn you should be able to understand the words... Some amazing songs i can write... (which yes ive written some damn good shit) i cant use without being looked apon as an emo song. Thats what i love about me and mikes relationship in the band... it rocks we come up with amazing punk rock stuff. but without a drummer were nothing... ive i was smart and good in school id give up music by now... but i cant because im fighting for punk/rock music. i have made it my mission to put a dent into this so called music. In the end i would just love walking down the hall at school know all these so called "hxc" kids hate me. It makes me smile. I love myself...
Eh im done... i got nothing...
WHY THE HELL AM I SO DEPRESSED....................
Brian
Im tired of being alone.... Im tired of being kicked to the side... Im tired of trying... Im going insane... I wish i had a girlfriend to care about... cause caring about myself sux, mostly because i dont. Im afraid to die alone... if i die tommorrow id die unhappy. Cause id never die with something good to leave behind. except a sad corpse lol. I hate seeing people happy with couples... well i guess its not hate but envy. Cause i cant get shit. I have no "game" im to shy... and it sux. thats another enemy of mine.. myself... the fear of shut down. If it werent for music id have shit.
Im not going emo... im just dying inside. Im done with this sad, downer bullshit.
OH emo i can go about that.. haha i love knowing that people hate me... Im pretty sure alot of emo kids hate me. I love how i almost ran into maddie stolzer and i was like sorry and he was so into his image just gave this look and walked of... its like "ok", Scremo/emo kids are so Stuck in their image its sickening. I hate what they have taken and raped into something i cant stand. Me playing is me saying "FUCK EMO" i play to play against them... I thikn you should be able to understand the words... Some amazing songs i can write... (which yes ive written some damn good shit) i cant use without being looked apon as an emo song. Thats what i love about me and mikes relationship in the band... it rocks we come up with amazing punk rock stuff. but without a drummer were nothing... ive i was smart and good in school id give up music by now... but i cant because im fighting for punk/rock music. i have made it my mission to put a dent into this so called music. In the end i would just love walking down the hall at school know all these so called "hxc" kids hate me. It makes me smile. I love myself...
Eh im done... i got nothing...
WHY THE HELL AM I SO DEPRESSED....................
Brian