(no subject)
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
> conniption fit,
> and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
>
> Only a Southerner knows how many fish, squirrels, collard greens, turnip
> greens, black-eyed peas, etc., make up "a mess."
>
> Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
> "yonder."
>
> Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is. As in: "Goin' to
> town, be back directly."
>
> Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the
> white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
> middle of the table.
>
> All southerners know Exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
> term, but they know the concept well.
>
> Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for
> a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big
> bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis,
> they also know to add a large banana puddin!
>
> Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
> "a right fer piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1
> mile or 20.
>
> Only a Southerner both knows and understands, the difference between a
> redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
>
> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
> signal is actually going to make a turn.
>
> A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
> adverb.
>
> Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when we're "in
> line," ..
> we talk to everybody!
>
> Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
> related, even if only by marriage.
>
> In the South, y'all is singular, ... all y'all is plural.
>
> Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
>
> Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
> perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
> fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
>
> When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
> are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
>
> Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
> indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
> unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
>
> And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
> ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her
> heart"... and go your own way.
>
> To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
> Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
> morning. Bless your heart!
>
> And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
> this Southern stuff ... bless your hearts. I hear they are fixin' to have
> classes on Southernness as a second language!
>
> And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
> time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads - "I
> ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
>
> Bless your hearts, ... y'all have a blessed day.
> conniption fit,
> and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
>
> Only a Southerner knows how many fish, squirrels, collard greens, turnip
> greens, black-eyed peas, etc., make up "a mess."
>
> Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
> "yonder."
>
> Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is. As in: "Goin' to
> town, be back directly."
>
> Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the
> white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
> middle of the table.
>
> All southerners know Exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
> term, but they know the concept well.
>
> Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for
> a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big
> bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis,
> they also know to add a large banana puddin!
>
> Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
> "a right fer piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1
> mile or 20.
>
> Only a Southerner both knows and understands, the difference between a
> redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
>
> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
> signal is actually going to make a turn.
>
> A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
> adverb.
>
> Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when we're "in
> line," ..
> we talk to everybody!
>
> Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
> related, even if only by marriage.
>
> In the South, y'all is singular, ... all y'all is plural.
>
> Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
>
> Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
> perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
> fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
>
> When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
> are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
>
> Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
> indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
> unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
>
> And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
> ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her
> heart"... and go your own way.
>
> To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
> Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
> morning. Bless your heart!
>
> And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
> this Southern stuff ... bless your hearts. I hear they are fixin' to have
> classes on Southernness as a second language!
>
> And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
> time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads - "I
> ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
>
> Bless your hearts, ... y'all have a blessed day.