(no subject)
I seem to collect friends who care less about our relationship than I do. We make plans. I get excited. I prepare, I clean, I buy food and drink, I clean my apartment, I get shit together. They forget and I sit all night waiting. This is not a new thing. This is relatively consistent with several different friends.
Do I just take planning too seriously? Do I get stupidly excited. Am I being dumb?
I just thought if you make plans, say, for an all-nighter of Firefly and cookies and Bailey's and Denny's - and you get all of those things ready, you skip dinner, you get ready....that meant there were plans. Why is it I always end up sitting on my couch waiting. Then the person says, "Oh man! We did have plans! I'm so sorry" and because they say that I'm not ALLOWED to be as upset as I feel. Inside, I want to cry, but outside I'm required to let it go and not feel completely terrible, because that's what a cool friend would do, and I'm a cool friend. I'm so sick of it. I miss when I used to make plans with people who thought about it as much as me, who got excited and ready and who SHOWED UP!
Do I just take planning too seriously? Do I get stupidly excited. Am I being dumb?
I just thought if you make plans, say, for an all-nighter of Firefly and cookies and Bailey's and Denny's - and you get all of those things ready, you skip dinner, you get ready....that meant there were plans. Why is it I always end up sitting on my couch waiting. Then the person says, "Oh man! We did have plans! I'm so sorry" and because they say that I'm not ALLOWED to be as upset as I feel. Inside, I want to cry, but outside I'm required to let it go and not feel completely terrible, because that's what a cool friend would do, and I'm a cool friend. I'm so sick of it. I miss when I used to make plans with people who thought about it as much as me, who got excited and ready and who SHOWED UP!