(no subject)
Captain's Log - December, 26th, 2005
Some of you will remember that I made a big deal about what I got for christmas last year and i joked about it for a long time afterwords.(and still do joke about it) For those of you who don't care enough to remember what I got for christmas last year... I got Oatmeal and batteries. *No jokes will be made regarding oatmeal and batteries at this time. This post is not about last christmas. I live in the present... or more recent past I guess...*
So this year I got from the person that gave me my oatmeal and batteries last year (my grandmother in Colorado) An ornament... No really it is a real nice ornament... FOR ME TO POOP ON! It looks like the kind that you would get free with any purchase of something worth purchasing... Now guess what jordan got... THE SAME THING! As if we need 2 of them... so Jordan was complaining later to Caitlyn on the phone about how he never gets presents for Christmas, and he was telling her about the ornament, and Caitlyn suggested that maybe there was something else in the box like maybe money in the bottom or something. Hehe I overheard this and promptly went downstairs and slipped 2 $20 bills in the bottom of his ornament box. I then proceeded to run upstairs ecstatically yelling "Jordan check this out you're not gonna believe it" He looks in the box and goes "Wow! I'm Sorry Grandma for not being appreciative. I love you." Oh the look on his face... He was so happy... oh but even better than that happy look on his face was the wretched, pained expression when I told him what I had done and that he had to give me the money back.
That was Christmas eve. It gets better Christmas day.
Okay so remember the oatmeal and batteries? Well apparently my mother thought that I really liked that present cause she got it for me again. Oatmeal and batteries 2 YEARS IN A ROW! Maybe she thought I had so much fun making jokes about it last year that it should become a yearly tradition.
An interestingly queer fact about my christmas' is that IF I do get any presents it's always stuff I would have gotten anyways. Mother just saves up everything she would have given me in the month or 2 before christmas and gives it to me all on one little day she likes to call "christmas". It's true I promise.
Remember I just told you I got oatmeal again this year? Yeah we were grocery shopping (Mother and I) and I grabbed some "strawberries and cream" oatmeal (that stuff's the best) off the shelf and tossed it in the cart. Mother didn't want me to get it just cause i'm the only one in the house that eats it. But I insisted and she consented. That was like 3 weeks ago... I've been looking for the stuff ever since... I asked mother where it was several times and she just lied and told me she "didn't know" all the while she was keeping it hidden so she could "give it to me" as a "present" on "christmas"....
By now you must be thinking "well those are all little things. Surely you got something and it must have been a pretty big present". So what were my 2 big presents this year... are you ready for this?... the first was Driving Gloves. Something I would have gotten anyway and would have been very useful earlier as the steering wheel in the van is pretty freaking cold.
And the #1 big present this year is... A TOWEL! sorry... A BIG TOWEL! Actually if you really know me, you know that I love the book "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" And if you know the book Hitchhikers Guide you know that the towel is the most useful invention and the biggest necessity. So it turns out to be a good present. I mean this is a Big Freakin Towel. I'm a small guy I could dry and cover (most of) myself with a mere washcloth. This towel's big enough to wrap around (most of) me like 3 times! I'm excited!
Some of you will remember that I made a big deal about what I got for christmas last year and i joked about it for a long time afterwords.(and still do joke about it) For those of you who don't care enough to remember what I got for christmas last year... I got Oatmeal and batteries. *No jokes will be made regarding oatmeal and batteries at this time. This post is not about last christmas. I live in the present... or more recent past I guess...*
So this year I got from the person that gave me my oatmeal and batteries last year (my grandmother in Colorado) An ornament... No really it is a real nice ornament... FOR ME TO POOP ON! It looks like the kind that you would get free with any purchase of something worth purchasing... Now guess what jordan got... THE SAME THING! As if we need 2 of them... so Jordan was complaining later to Caitlyn on the phone about how he never gets presents for Christmas, and he was telling her about the ornament, and Caitlyn suggested that maybe there was something else in the box like maybe money in the bottom or something. Hehe I overheard this and promptly went downstairs and slipped 2 $20 bills in the bottom of his ornament box. I then proceeded to run upstairs ecstatically yelling "Jordan check this out you're not gonna believe it" He looks in the box and goes "Wow! I'm Sorry Grandma for not being appreciative. I love you." Oh the look on his face... He was so happy... oh but even better than that happy look on his face was the wretched, pained expression when I told him what I had done and that he had to give me the money back.
That was Christmas eve. It gets better Christmas day.
Okay so remember the oatmeal and batteries? Well apparently my mother thought that I really liked that present cause she got it for me again. Oatmeal and batteries 2 YEARS IN A ROW! Maybe she thought I had so much fun making jokes about it last year that it should become a yearly tradition.
An interestingly queer fact about my christmas' is that IF I do get any presents it's always stuff I would have gotten anyways. Mother just saves up everything she would have given me in the month or 2 before christmas and gives it to me all on one little day she likes to call "christmas". It's true I promise.
Remember I just told you I got oatmeal again this year? Yeah we were grocery shopping (Mother and I) and I grabbed some "strawberries and cream" oatmeal (that stuff's the best) off the shelf and tossed it in the cart. Mother didn't want me to get it just cause i'm the only one in the house that eats it. But I insisted and she consented. That was like 3 weeks ago... I've been looking for the stuff ever since... I asked mother where it was several times and she just lied and told me she "didn't know" all the while she was keeping it hidden so she could "give it to me" as a "present" on "christmas"....
By now you must be thinking "well those are all little things. Surely you got something and it must have been a pretty big present". So what were my 2 big presents this year... are you ready for this?... the first was Driving Gloves. Something I would have gotten anyway and would have been very useful earlier as the steering wheel in the van is pretty freaking cold.
And the #1 big present this year is... A TOWEL! sorry... A BIG TOWEL! Actually if you really know me, you know that I love the book "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" And if you know the book Hitchhikers Guide you know that the towel is the most useful invention and the biggest necessity. So it turns out to be a good present. I mean this is a Big Freakin Towel. I'm a small guy I could dry and cover (most of) myself with a mere washcloth. This towel's big enough to wrap around (most of) me like 3 times! I'm excited!