So, that's cool...
My newest addition to the medication family seems to be helping and I am quite a bit more calm than I was. Downside? (Yes, there is one...) I am consistently looking for a way to be "up". What I mean is that I have been running on adrenaline for so long that I don't know how to function calmly. Inner calm isn't something that I am used to. I am used to being in constant inner motion... Heart always pumping fast, always having a hard time sitting still, shaking constantly. This calm thing is weird and I'm not sure that I like it. I have realized that I am looking to fulfill the void left by the crazy not being all consuming. Not healthy, I know, but at least I recognize it. I thought I had more to say about this, and I probably will in the future, but for now this about sums it up.